The Kids Were Gone For Three Weeks and I Didn’t Miss Them

 Posted by Bill on July 16, 2010  Balancing Work and Children, Dealing with Divorce and Your Ex, General, Getting Your New Life In Order, How to Communicate with Your Kids, Raising Children as a Single Parent, Taking Time for Yourself, Teenagers, The Craziness of Single Parenting, Uncategorized  No Responses »
Jul 162010
 

Well Jack and Michaela made their annual trek to Montana this summer to see their grandparents, cousins, aunt and uncles. I for the first time didn’t because I had to really focus on finishing my book “Kickin’ Butt a a Single Parent” 99 Tips Every Single Parent Must Have (available August 12th) and making a living in this difficult economy. Michaela was going to be gone for three weeks and Jack for 12 days. I have been without the kids before, but never this long. When you raise your kids 24/7 you become a close knit group. Sometimes this is good and well, sometimes this is not so good. We all have a tendency to get on each others nerves every now and then but always seem to work through it.

I have to tell you that after the first day I really didn’t miss them so much. I wondered if I should feel guilty about this or if i was just going through some sort of delayed separation syndrome. By the 5th day I still didn’t miss them. This is getting interesting now. By the 10th day I was considering asking my parents if they could stay another three weeks and you know what, I didn’t feel guilty at all:)

It’s interesting that no matter how much I love and enjoy my kids, I was really enjoying being away from them. I think that we all need some “Me Time” every once in awhile to recharge our batteries. We all need a break from our kids, and our kids need a break from us. I just hope that next summer they understand that as I send them off for eight weeks:)

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I am Blessed to Have Supportive Kids

 Posted by Bill on June 24, 2010  Balancing Work and Children, Dealing with Divorce and Your Ex, General, Getting Your New Life In Order, How to Communicate with Your Kids, Organizing, Raising Children as a Single Parent, Teenagers, The Craziness of Single Parenting, Uncategorized  No Responses »
Jun 242010
 

I think that as parents, especially single parents, we spend so much time wanting to be supportive of our kids. Maybe it’s because we only see them so often, or maybe because we worry about how being raised by a single parent might affect them later on in life.

Webster defines support as:

to bear or hold up ; serve as a foundation for.   Continue reading »
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The Eleven Things You Will Not Learn In School

 Posted by Bill on May 7, 2010  General, How to Communicate with Your Kids, Raising Children as a Single Parent, Teenagers, Uncategorized  No Responses »
May 072010
 

A few years ago I was emailed this list of the eleven things you will not learn in school. I was told that it was presented by Bill Gates at a High School commencment speech. Since then I have been informed that it was actually an an excerpt from the book “Dumbing Down our Kids” by educator Charles Sykes. Regardless of who said it, I was so impressed with it that I shared it with  both Jack and Michaela. OK I have shared it with them on more than one occasion :) I now want to share the list with you, because as a parent I believe that our kids have come to expect more from the world than the world is actually willing to give. I want to make sure that my kids understand that there never has been, and never will be a substitute for hard work. I hope that you enjoy it as much as I have.

RULE 1
     Life  is not fair – get used to it.

     RULE 2
     The  world won’t care about your self-esteem. The world
     will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you  feel
     good about yourself. Continue reading »

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I Love Having Teenagers

 Posted by Bill on March 5, 2010  Balancing Work and Children, General, Getting Your New Life In Order, How to Communicate with Your Kids, Raising Children as a Single Parent, Teenagers, The Craziness of Single Parenting, Uncategorized  1 Response »
Mar 052010
 

I can’t tell you the number of people, who when I tell them that I have teenagers, say things like “Wow that must be tough” or “Good luck you will need it”. I don’t care, I love having teenagers. I really do. I can still remember what my life was like as a teenager. I can remember when I was honest with my parents and when I was not. I can remember all of the things that I put my parents through. Believe me growing up in a family of five, where you came home when the street light came on, we had allot of time to put our parents through hell. I know that my kids, or at least one of them,  will do the same to me but… I still love having teenagers.

So why you ask? Why after all that you put your parents through? Why after all of the warnings others are giving you? Why knowing full well that the “apple doesn’t fall far from the tree” do you still love having teenagers? Well here is why in this weeks (drum roll please):

TOP 10 LIST WHY I LIKE HAVING TEENAGERS: Continue reading »

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Washington Needs a Co-Parenting Class

 Posted by Bill on February 11, 2010  Dealing with Divorce and Your Ex, General, Getting Your New Life In Order, How to Communicate with Your Kids, Organizing, Uncategorized  No Responses »
Feb 112010
 

I have never used this blog to make a political statement and I am not about to do so today. I personally do not care if you are a Republican a Democrat or and Independent. I don’t care if you are a card carrying member of the Green Party, Brown Party, Yellow Party or Chuckie Cheese Party.

I have always believed that this blog should be an opportunity for you the reader to take a peek inside the  life of  a single dad. I believe that is what I have always done and will continue to do so. But last night, as I sat at home with the kids watching the news, I couldn’t help to think that Washington needs a co-parenting class. Here we have our role models our leaders and in essence the parents of our country acting like two bickering parents. Do they not get it? It’s not about who wins, or who you love the most or who you want to live with it’s about us, the children of this country. The ones who have to live with your decisions and bickering each and every day. Do any of you think about us the children first. OK I know that each of you parents believe that your way is the right way, but is it really? We as the children of this country need you to be there for us. To set an example. To consciously co-parent us effectively. To first put our needs in mind not your own individual self serving motives. We will accept the fact that you will never see eye to eye on everything. After all that  is why you have separated. We will accept the fact that you are hurt and angry about your loses but why must you take it out on us? Why can’t you just give a little and meet half way? That is all we the children of this country want. We have lived with you in the past when you screamed and shouted and it hurt our feelings. It made us sad that you spent so much time bickering about yourselves that you didn’t spend time with us. We as a family survived those days of differences and we will survive them again in the future, but please don’t forget about us the children. You have been  and hopefully will continue to be, our role models. We look up to you. We believed in you. Please don’t allow your anger about your past and present continue to influence what we think of you. We will grow up one day and make different decisions based upon what you have put us through, but we don’t ever want to lose our respect for you.

Please Washington don’t forget that you have the responsibility to co-parent for us effectively. That is all we really ask. Communicate with us, put our feelings first and remember that you are modeling for us each day. We know that you will make mistakes and we are ok with that,  just as long as you don’t forget us in the process. Continue reading »

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In a blink of an eye

 Posted by Bill on February 5, 2010  General, Raising Children as a Single Parent, Uncategorized  4 Responses »
Feb 052010
 

It is amazing to me how quickly life goes by. I know that there are 60 seconds in a minute and 60 minutes in an hour, but why does time go by in a blink of an eye? I know that there are 24 hours in a day and 365 days in a year, but why does time go by in a blink of an eye? It always seems like the bad days take forever but the good ones go by in a blink of an eye. I am one who keeps every picture my kids have ever taken. I was keeping pictures long before we put them on our cell phones and computers. I actually  have a storage tub or two at home filled with them. If I were to ever do a collage it would probably be the size of a football field. I love looking back on them every now and then. It still amazes me how it seems as if I just took them yesterday.

Last night I was reminded again how life goes by in a blink of an eye. My daughter Michaela attended her 8th grade Winter Dance. All of the girls dressed up as if it were the prom. They all looked so beautiful. The boys were styling as well but there is something about girls at this age that screams “watch out adulthood here I come”. As I watched my daughter smile and laugh I was again reminded that life goes by in a blink of an eye. Earlier yesterday I was reminiscing through some of Michaela’s old photos. There was Notre Dame cheerleader picture at three, the birthday party pictures at six, the class pictures from school  and the soccer pictures that seem to go on and on and on. I smiled as I thought back to what a beautiful little girl I was blessed to have. Watching her grow and transform into the beautiful young lady that she is becoming brought  a tear to my eye. Last night at the dance i  again realized how life goes by in a blink of an eye. The little girl that I have been taking photos of forever is now a thirteen year old teenager. She is 5’6″ tall and still growing. The boys smile at her more than she smiles at them. When God gave out pretty and heart Michaela was in the front of the line. I am so proud of her but I really wish that my blinks would slow down.

I know that we only have a short time to be with our kids. I know that it is our job to allow them to grow and then set them free. I just wish that it would not go by in a blink of an eye.

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Practice Practice Practice

 Posted by Bill on January 22, 2010  Balancing Work and Children, General, Getting Your New Life In Order, How to Communicate with Your Kids, Raising Children as a Single Parent, Taking Time for Yourself, Uncategorized  No Responses »
Jan 222010
 

They say that practice makes perfect. Who ever said that was obviously not a parent. I have practiced at being a good parent ever since day one. I continue to practice at it each and every day. Last week I thought that I had finally figured it out and then my 13 year old teenage daughter reminded me that I have a long way to go. I am starting to think parenting is allot like golf. You will never win at it totally. Oh you may score well every once in awhile, but just when you start to think you’ve got  it figured out,  you slice it into the woods and have to take a penalty stroke. I have had my share of penalty strokes with the kids.

The problem with being a good parent is that your kids are constantly changing. Once you get the toddler stage down here comes the young child stage, then the pre-teen stage and finally the dreaded teenager stage. Looking back on the early stages, I now realize that the degree of difficulty changes with each stage. It must be Gods way of reminding you that practice doesn’t make perfect, but it will make you better. I am blessed to have my parents as examples. With five kids they had allot of practice. Looking back on it now I realized that they weren’t perfect, but at least they kept practicing. Actually with five kids maybe they should have stopped practicing having  us after two:) I am the oldest by the way! One thing that I know is that if you as a parent keep practicing, your children will be the beneficiary of it. I pray every night for those children who don’t have parents who practice. They are the ones that will never understand how to become a good parent themselves. They are the ones who will turn to the dark side when if their parents had just practiced more, they would have all seen the light.

You see when it comes to being a good parent I have learned that practice doesn’t make perfect. We are all going to make mistakes no matter how hard we practice at it. The trick is to accept that we aren’t perfect and continue to practice. Because just like golf, every once in awhile you have that great round that reminds you “I can do this”. I must do it! I will keep practicing. My children need me too….

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