I Think I’m Going To Be Single For Awhile…

 Posted by Bill on January 31, 2011  Balancing Work and Children, Dealing with Divorce and Your Ex, General, Getting Your New Life In Order, Taking Time for Yourself, Uncategorized  1 Response »
Jan 312011
 

It seems that I am always getting emails from people asking me what the secret to happiness is as a single parent?  So many of these people are just plain unhappy being single as, a single parent. They seem to believe that they need to be with someone in order to validate their life. Then I get the emails from the married people telling me how unhappy they are, and again, if they were just single they would be happier. To this group I say “Be careful what you wish for”. The only place that you are going to find true happiness is first and foremost, within yourself. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side.

So why is it that everyone who is married thinks that I have the perfect life as a full time single dad. My friend Mike likes to tell me that I have it all figured out. I have branded myself at www.singleparentstown.com as a single dad, and in order to continue my mission, I must stay single. I remind him that some day I hope to find my soul mate again and live happily ever after, but he doesn’t believe me. He says  that he just likes to live vicariously through me. I then have to remind him that I have no vicarious to live through…

I recently noticed on Facebook that I must be single, married or complicated. Why are those the only options I have? Why can’t I be single and uncomplicated? What about those who want to be single and married? Or those that are married and want to be single? Oops, I better not go there… What about those who are complicated and want to be uncomplicated? Facebook really needs to give us all a few more options if we truly want to let our friends know who we are. Continue reading »

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The Chinese New Year of…….YOU

 Posted by Bill on January 10, 2011  General, Getting Your New Life In Order, Taking Time for Yourself, The Craziness of Single Parenting, Uncategorized  1 Response »
Jan 102011
 

Recently my friend Davis Ehrler wrote a great blog Dare To Be YOU! here at www.singleparentstown.com We exchanged  some fun emails back and forth about the blog, and during one of those emails the Chinese New Year came up. It made me start to think about why the Chinese name each year after an animal. What I found out was that the use of animal symbols in the Chinese Zodiac dates back to the 6thCentury. According to legend, the Jade Emperor, invited all the animals in the kingdom to celebrate the New Year, at the end of the first lunar month.

For unknown reasons, only twelve animals came (Rat, Ox, Tiger, Rabbit “In some versions it’s Cat,” Dragon, Snake, Horse, Goat, Monkey, Rooster, Dog, and Pig”) . The Jade emperor was so happy to see them that he decided to name a year after each of them. The animal would have an influence on everyone born in that year and would bestow its main characteristics on them.

These twelve animals formed the Chinese Zodiac, based on the lunar calendar, by order of their arrival, and are listed above. Continue reading »

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How Do You Spell Love?

 Posted by Bill on December 27, 2010  Balancing Work and Children, Dealing with Divorce and Your Ex, General, Getting Your New Life In Order, How to Communicate with Your Kids, Raising Children as a Single Parent, Taking Time for Yourself, Teenagers, The Craziness of Single Parenting, Uncategorized  2 Responses »
Dec 272010
 

Whenever I speak to groups, I always like to give them a little spelling test. It is really a very easy test, but one that everyone always seems to fail. My question is “How do you spell Love”? Most of the time everyone will proudly answer, L.O.V.E. Oh sure there are the occasional L.U.V.’s that come out, but in general L.O.V.E. is the answer. Each time I do this I have to correct the audience. The real way to spell L.O.V.E. is T.I.M.E. If you truly want to show your children, your family, your friends, yourself  and others in your life that you love them, then you need to spend time with them.

If there is one thing that we never seem to have enough of it’s time. We all seem to be busy running around, taking care of ourselves, our kids, our jobs and are so preoccupied with life, that we just don’t spend enough time with those that are closest to us. Every year around this time, what is the one thing that we all like to say? “Where has the time gone”? Someone once told me that if you want to live forever then get married, because when you are single times flies by and once you get married, time slows down to a crawl:) That person by the way is now divorced! Continue reading »

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I Feel Bad For Two Parent Households

 Posted by Bill on November 8, 2010  Balancing Work and Children, Dealing with Divorce and Your Ex, General, Getting Your New Life In Order, How to Communicate with Your Kids, Organizing, Raising Children as a Single Parent, Single Entrepreneur Mom, Taking Time for Yourself, Teenagers, The Craziness of Single Parenting, Uncategorized  8 Responses »
Nov 082010
 

OK now that I have your attention let me explain. For years, all I have heard is how tough it is for the single parent. How we have to do it all on our own. How we have no one to help. How we have so little time for ourselves and so much work. How our kids will be effected because they are being raised by a single parent. How sad it is. Well let me inform you all of one thing, I feel blessed to be raising my kids on my own. Oh sure it would be nice to have some extra help and a little more free time every now and then, but that’s life. As the saying goes “Stuff happens”. Get over it…  Stuff happens in every household. Below is a list of “stuff” that I, and only I, get to experience as a single parent.

  1. I’m on call 24/7. I like that, as it gives me a sense of purpose
  2. When the kids got hurt I got to kiss every boo-boo.
  3. I recognize fully that my children are uniquely gifted and valuable individuals because I get to watch it happen each and every day.
  4. I get to plan every birthday party and get 100% of the credit. This too gives me a sense of purpose.
  5. I get to create a warm and loving home, all by myself.
  6. I’m the one they call when they are sick at school.
  7. I’m also the one who misses work to take care of them.
  8. I get to teach them the value of friendships.
  9. I get to help them make good decisions on a daily basis, or at least watch as they lean from their bad decisions.
  10. I am the one that gets to take them school cloths shopping every time.
  11. I know everything about their medical and school records.
  12. The report cards always come to me.
  13. I am the only one that has to live by my decisions as a parent
  14. No ones tells me, “You should spend more time with the kids”.
  15. I know the difference between “wants” and “needs”.
  16. I get to teach my children how to be responsible for themselves.
  17. I have to demonstrate resilience and determination every day.
  18. Your kids know they’re loved.
  19. Your kids are proud of you, too.

You see there are really so many benefits to being a single parent. Am I exhausted at times? Sure I am, but it is a good exhaustion. Do I miss having extra free time? Sure I do, but on the flip side, I get too spend more time with my kids? Do I wish that I had more help? Definitely, but there is no greater satisfaction than knowing I am totally responsible for the kids. Do I have a fear that I may do something wrong? Yes I do, but fear is a great motivator. It motivates me to keep a smile on my face, hope in my heart and a belief that someday when my kids are older, they are going to say those four words to me and only me, that will bring me to my knees. Continue reading »

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Please! Enough With The Family Stick Men On Your Rear Window!

 Posted by Bill on October 18, 2010  Balancing Work and Children, Dealing with Divorce and Your Ex, General, Getting Your New Life In Order, How to Communicate with Your Kids, Organizing, Raising Children as a Single Parent, Taking Time for Yourself, Teenagers, The Craziness of Single Parenting, Uncategorized  4 Responses »
Oct 182010
 

As a single dad I am very happy to have what some would perceive to be a “small family”. Two children, one dog, one cat, and yes the pets are part of our family. What I am not happy with is having to pull up behind some car with more stick men characters than I care to count. You know the ones that I am talking about. The dad, the mom, four kids, three dogs, two cats and a bunch of fish.

What is it about these people that make them think I really care about how many kids they have, let alone how many pets. Do I really care that you have Fido and Kitty on board? No I don’t. Continue reading »

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10 Things That I Just Love!

 Posted by Bill on September 17, 2010  Dealing with Divorce and Your Ex, General, Getting Your New Life In Order, Raising Children as a Single Parent, Taking Time for Yourself, Teenagers, The Craziness of Single Parenting, Uncategorized  No Responses »
Sep 172010
 

God knows that being a single parent has its challenges. I so often feel like the guy who showed up for a doubles match in tennis, only to find out that his partner couldn’t make it. You better be quick on your feet and anticipate the next move if you are going to be successful.

I have written before that, in my opinion, the most difficult part of being a single parent is finding the time to get everything done. We love our children, and hopefully we are there for them. But too often we neglect our own needs in the process. I may not always be able to control my free time, but there are certain things that I can control. I have come up with a list of ten things that just make me feel good. The list is in no particular order. I hope that it will provide you with the inspiration you may need to just feel good.

  1. Listening to my kids talk about their day. I mean really listening. Face to face, eye to eye and without distractions.
  2. Getting up at 4:30 a.m. and working out.
  3. Grounding my son when he doesn’t turn in his homework. This one really makes me feel good.
  4. Braiding my daughter’s hair.
  5. Reminding my kids of how much their mother loved them, and of all the wonderful qualities they received from her.
  6. Doing something for the less fortunate on the spur of the moment.
  7. Telling my kids that I love them.
  8. Allowing them to fail and then watching with pride as they learn from it.
  9. Going to church and thanking God for this gift that he has given me.
  10. Calling an old friend just to say hi.

    11. Continue reading »

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A Dad’s Point-of-View, by Bruce Sallan – When Should We Take Risks?

 Posted by Bruce on July 20, 2010  General, Getting Your New Life In Order, Teenagers, Uncategorized  No Responses »
Jul 202010
 

We went on a family skiing trip and on my son’s first run of the season, he fell and broke his arm. Thankfully, it was a clean hairline fracture and he should heal just fine. It may take his ego a bit longer to recover, as he was trying to follow his girlfriend when he fell.

He recuperated and relaxed at the condo while the rest of our group continued to ski and enjoy the trip. I resumed my regular skiing antics which include doing tricks that are mostly done by kids half my age or younger.

Lots of sports have risks attached to them. When, as a parent, should we limit our kid’s activities and when should we show restraint? I do enjoy pushing my limits on skis, as I do tricks in the terrain park on the half-pipe (see attached photo), jumps, boxes, as well as hard mogul and/or steep runs. I’ve also gone heli-skiing where there is the omnipresent danger of avalanches. Continue reading »

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