When you are a single parent day in and day out there is no other in the adult to run interference for you. No one to come in and save the day. You can learn to save you own day and not lose your cool. Here are some suggestions:
1. Know Your Limits and Obey Them: frequently when we lose our cool as single parents it is because we have crossed the line and pushed ourselves too far. What are your limits? Are you most stressed if you are tired? Hungry? Financially Strapped? Continue reading »
This Wednesday I will be headed up to Montana to visit my family see friends and retrieve my daughter who has spent the better part of the summer there. I am excited to see my family, hang out at the lake, have fun and oh ya, see my daughter again. Michaela has been there since early June. I know that based upon the three calls she has made to me that she is having a great time. Yes three calls… You see it’s not that she doesn’t love me, or that I don’t love her, but sometimes in life you just need a break from your kids. Now I am sure that many of you are saying the exact same thing “Boy do I need a break from my kids”. It’s natural to need some free time to yourself, to get away and to recharge our batteries, but is it alright not to miss your kids? In my case the answer is yes:) I love my daughter to death, with all of my heart, with all of my soul and with all of my mind, but honestly I just don’t miss her all that much.
Now before you start to say “What kind of a father are you Bill not to miss one of your babies” let me give you a few reasons:
1. She is a 14 year old girl. If you have ever had one of those you will totally understand what I am saying here. Continue reading »
Since it is Monday and the new week is upon us, I thought that I would share with you a job description that a friend of mine recently shared with me. I have posted this blog once before but believe that it it is worth repeating. I hope that it brings a smile to your face and starts your weekend off on the right foot. It is hilarious and something we can all relate to.
POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma Continue reading »
In the State of Colorado, the law states that in order to operate a motor vehicle, you must first attend a week long course from an accredited driving school, as well as complete a driver education course consisting of behind the wheel training. I think that most would agree that this law is a good idea.
Luckily for my kids, I have not always lived by that belief, at least not 100%. Now before you rush to the phone to call the police on me please allow me to explain. You see my belief that kids (under the right circumstances) should be allowed to learn how to drive at 14 was ingrained into me at a young age. Growing up in Butte, Montana as one of five kids, you have a tendency to do things a little different. My friends and I would drive ourselves to drivers education and park a few blocks away so that we didn’t get caught. Now it’s not that I took the car without my parents permission, they just threw me the keys and said “don’t get caught”. Now, when you grow up in a smaller town, you have a tendency to know most everyone. I am sure that on more than one occasion I passed a cop who knew that I wasn’t 16 yet, but really didn’t care. I’m sure that he learned to drive the exact same way. In fact, it’s a true story is that when my mom was growing up, she used to get driven to the ski resort outside of town by Sheila Penaluna all the time. Oh, by the way did I mention that Sheila was 12 when she drove them? Go figure. Seriously, growing up in Butte is a little different, as anyone from Montana will attest too. So when it came time to get my kids ready for drivers education I did what came naturally, I put them in the car at 14 and said “let’s drive”.
Now Jack was easy. I really didn’t worry about his ability too much. Maybe it was because he was a boy, or maybe it was because he had a small battery operated jeep as a kid. It could have been the fact that he was quite accomplished at racing cars on his video game. I don’t really know why, all that I did know was that teaching him to drive was really not much of a worry to me. The first day I took him over to the streets of an undeveloped commercial project put him in the drivers seat and said lets go. He took to it like a southern boy to a NASCAR race. Now he is 17 and cruising all over the place in his 2000 GT Mustang, has had no accidents and only three tickets to show for it. I am so proud:) Continue reading »
I have a friend of mine who is an amazing single mother. She is always present for her children, but like so many of us single parents, not sure if she is getting through to her kids. Earlier this week she shared with me a “Creed” that her daughter wrote in school. What makes this letter so amazing is that over the years this beautiful young lady has been through allot. She has experienced the death of a sister, the divorce of her parents and a move to a new home. For all of us that worry about how our kids deal with life changing experiences, never forget that kids are very resilient, especially when we as parents are there for them.
My Creed
I believe in sunsets and watching the stars Continue reading »
I have always said that I am the most blessed father in the world to have my children. Raising them on my own has definitely been a challenge, but with challenges come great rewards. I hope that I can just keep the two of them around long enough to realize this.
My son is now 17 and I am so proud of him. He and I have a bond that although not expressed daily, is there in our hearts. I have watched him mature more and more each day. His sense of humor is second to none. The other night I told him that “Yes Jack we are going to eat together as a family” to which he replied “Dad I promise that if you let me eat downstairs in front of the TV, I won’t do drugs, get anyone pregnant or go to jail”. As he walked down the stairs to the TV, I wondered where he gets this from. Then I looked in the mirror J
My daughter who has been the apple of my eye since the day she was born has always been a joy. She has a heart of gold and a smile that stretches from here to eternity. She has never been a problem, just a good kid. That was until she turned 14 last August. I have heard stories of how girls transform at this age but hearing stories and experiencing it are two separate things. The other night Jack asked if we could just “put her down” There is that quick wit and humor again. What is it that turns little angels into devils at 14? Continue reading »
Have you ever felt as if you had other voices running around in your head telling you what to do? Have you ever felt as if those other voices in your head are constantly reminding you of what you do wrong, more than reminding you of what you do right? Do you ever wonder why all of those other voices in your head are in essence mini images of yourself? I know I sure do, at least I think I do. Maybe I do, maybe I don’t. Oh hell, I don’t know what I think.
Now before you start to worry that maybe it’s time for me to seek professional help, and God knows it would be justified since I am raising two teenagers, stop and ask yourself if those other voices in your head are really defining who you are as a parent. Parenting is a very confusing experience for all of us. It’s never right and it’s never wrong. It’s never black and it’s never white. There are times when I am convinced that I am doing the right thing, and then there are those times when I have no idea what I am doing. There are times when I feel guilty with the choices I make, and then there other times when I am proud of the choices I made. There are times when I rely on others for advice, and then there are times when I just wing it. There are times when I know that I should of handled the situation different, and there are times when I question how I ever made the right decision.
The problem for me is that each of my good decisions, each of my bad decisions, and each of my choices as a parent, seem to have their own little voice in my mind. There are times when I know that I made the right choice in dealing with my kids, but for some reason that voice never seems to speak up very loud. Then there are times when I know that I have made the wrong choice, only to have that voice scream loud and clear at me. I have learned over the years that regardless of which little voice in my head is screaming the loudest, I need to remind myself that it is only one voice. Continue reading »