My Kids Are Like The Stock Market…

 Posted by Bill on November 7, 2011  Balancing Work and Children, Raising Children as a Single Parent, The Craziness of Single Parenting  2 Responses »
Nov 072011
 

I have decided to change my kid’s names from Jack and Michaela to Dow and NASDAQ. Why you ask? It’s because I believe that raising them is like investing in the stock market. As long as I put something into them each month, I am bound to get a good return on my investment. At least that’s what the experts tell me. Recently I have found that my success with the kids has been similar to my recent returns in the stock market. Dismal! I have scratched my head, reviewed my parental investing strategy and made some adjustments. But still I am not seeing the returns that I had hoped for. I keep telling myself that’s its not how I start but how I finish. This would make sense if I was a marathon runner, but as a single dad I am a sprinter. I sprint from school event to sporting event, from grocery store to doctor’s appointments, from homework assignments to dinners. I want to see a return NOW!

My financial planner tells me to have patience. Follow the plan, and that all things are difficult before they are easy. Easy for him to say, he’s getting paid monthly on what I invest with him. I want to see a return NOW!

I know that I am not the only single parent that wants a return on his investment NOW. Why does this have to be so difficult? You give, you love, you encourage, you discipline and you lead, but still I am not seeing the results. I want a return NOW! Continue reading »

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I Hope That You Don’t Forget What You Already Know.

 Posted by Bill on October 10, 2011  General, The Craziness of Single Parenting  2 Responses »
Oct 102011
 

I am blessed to have here at www.singleparentstown.com the greatest single parent bloggers in the world. Michele, Jennifer, Davis, Michael and Roxy are amazing single parents who each and every week share their stories with you in such a way, that it makes you feel like they speaking to you one on one. They have all been through so much as a parent. Many of them, me included, have lost a spouse to death or addiction. Some have experienced homelessness, abandonment and poverty. Some have remarried and some have re-divorced. Some have found God to be their ultimate source of strength and some have found their experiences to be their source of life. The number one thing that I love about each of them is that they speak from experience, they speak from their hearts and they share easy and concise stories and tips that make a difference in so many people’s lives.

What also impresses me about our bloggers is that the stories and tips they share are things that more times than not, we already know. I thought that today I would share with you some insight about things that I am sure you, already know. My hope is that by reminding you what you already know, that you will be able to put to use these things so that not only your life, but the lives of your family, will be the better because of it. After reading my thoughts below, I would be honored if you would add to the list by commenting. That way all who read this blog will be better because of what you have brought to their attention about what they already know.

Continue reading »

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How Is Your Train Ride Going?

 Posted by Bill on September 26, 2011  Dealing with Divorce and Your Ex, General, Raising Children as a Single Parent, The Craziness of Single Parenting  No Responses »
Sep 262011
 

I wrote this blog sometime back and wanted to repost it for all of you. Life is funny how it moves forward, sometimes to fast and sometimes to slow, but rest assured it will continue to move forward. I hope that this blog today helps you understand that life is like a train ride and only you have the pleasure of being on the entire ride from start to finish. Have an amazing day everyone…

Someone once told me that life is like taking a train ride. The unique part about it is that from start to finish, you and only you, will be the only one on the entire ride.  Oh sure others will join you for part of your ride, but again you and only you, will be the only one on the entire ride. The ride usually starts off slowly and calmly, but before you know it the train picks up speed and you seem to be flying along faster than you might be comfortable with. There will be twists and turns, peaks and valleys, happiness and sadness along the way, but again you and only you, will be the only one on the entire ride.  The train will occasionally stop along the way and others will join you, but again you and only you, will be the only one on the entire ride.

I often have thought about the times on the ride, where we knew that we were about to enter a dark tunnel, and just couldn’t seem to do anything about it. It’s just part of our ride. Once in the tunnel darkness consumes us, and depending upon the length of the tunnel, our fear of disaster is heightened. We worry that our ride is about to turn into a train wreck. What I have learned on my ride, especially during those trips into darkness, is that we always come out of the tunnel to the light again. I have also learned that since I will surly exit the tunnel intact, I sure as the heck want to make sure that I don’t do anything, while in the darkness, that I will be embarrassed for, ashamed of or regret once I come out of the tunnel. I want to approach each and every dark tunnel with confidence, hope and dignity because again, I will exit the tunnel, and I and only I, will be the only one on the entire ride. Continue reading »

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When It Comes To Parenting Does Practice Make Perfect?

 Posted by Bill on September 19, 2011  General, How to Communicate with Your Kids, Raising Children as a Single Parent, Teenagers, The Craziness of Single Parenting  No Responses »
Sep 192011
 
They say that practice makes perfect. I have decided that whoever said that was obviously not a parent. I have practiced at being a good parent ever since day one, and I continue to practice at it each and every day. Last week I thought that I had finally figured it out, and then my 15 year old teenage daughter reminded me that I have a long way to go. Funny how teenagers seem to think that they know everything. I am starting to think that parenting is allot like the game of golf. No matter how much you practice, you will never get it totally right. Oh you may score well every once in awhile, but just when you start to think that  you’ve got  it figured out, you slice one it into the woods and end up taking a penalty stroke. Over the years I have had my share of penalty strokes with my kids.
The problem with being a good parent, is that your kids are constantly changing on you. Once you get to the toddler stage figured out here comes the young child stage, then the pre-teen stage and finally the dreaded teenager stage. Looking back on the early stages, I now realize that the degree of difficulty changes with each and every  stage my kids go through. It must be Gods way of reminding you that practice doesn’t always make you perfect, but it will make you better. 
I am blessed to have my parents as great examples. Since they raised  five kids, they had allot of practice. Looking back on it now I realized that they weren’t perfect, but at least they kept practicing. Actually with five kids, maybe they should have stopped practicing having children after the first two:) I am the oldest by the way! One thing that I do know is that if you as a parent keep practicing, your children will be the beneficiary of it. I pray every night for those children who don’t have parents who practice. Who have parents that give up. They are the children that will never understand how to become a good parent themselves. They are the ones whose children will turn to the dark side, when if their parents had just practiced more, they would have all seen the light. Continue reading »
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Are You A Single Parent Because Of Abuse?

 Posted by Bill on August 21, 2011  Balancing Work and Children, Dealing with Divorce and Your Ex, General, Raising Children as a Single Parent, The Craziness of Single Parenting  3 Responses »
Aug 212011
 

“Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome.”

I was recently asked to write an article about becoming a single parent due to addiction or abuse. I guess that sometimes I forget that so many of us become single parents, not because we chose to and not because our marriage just didn’t work out, but because of addictions and abuse. Since I fall into the first category, single due to an addiction, I thought that I would try and understand what it truly means to become a single parent due to abuse.

Although I have lived this life, I still wanted to make sure that I had my basis and facts covered. The first thing that I did was go to the Internets all knowing dictionary, Wikipedia. Each time I go there I have the benefit viewing a page or two of relative information. Not much, but enough to get me up to speed on what it is I am trying to understand. This week I looked up the word “Abuse”. OMG (That’s text for those of you who don’t have teenagers which means OH MY GOD) There was page, after page, after page of definitions. Child abuse, dating abuse, addiction abuse, abuse of power and the big one domestic abuse. The definition ofdomestic abuse is described below: Continue reading »

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Being A Dad Was The Worst Decision Of My Life…

 Posted by Bill on July 31, 2011  Balancing Work and Children, General, Raising Children as a Single Parent, The Craziness of Single Parenting  No Responses »
Jul 312011
 

Seriously being a DAD was the worst decision of my life. How could I be so dumb? How could I have not seen it coming? How did I ever get myself into this? Being a DAD was the worst decision of my life! There were so many other paths I could have chosen. There were so many other decisions I could have made and should have made. What was I thinking? Obviously my attitude about it failed me, obviously my decision making was skewed, why was I in denial when I had always seemed to of made good decisions in the past? Being a DAD was the worst decision of my life.

Prior to being a DAD my life was great. My business was booming, my relationships were phenomenal, my attitude was authentic, my outlook was positive, my life was darn near perfect, and then it happened, I became a DAD. What made it worst is that I have become a DAD more than once in my life. You would think that after becoming a DAD once I would have learned, but no, not me, I had to become a DAD again. What was I thinking? I knew that I hated being a DAD but I did it again. As I look back on my life I wish more than anything else I had never ever become a DAD. Being a DAD was the worst thing that I ever did.

Now before you all start worrying about my children let me explain to you what being a DAD is all about. Here you go… First being a DAD has nothing to do with being a parent, a father or a hero to your kids. Being a DAD is a state of mind that each and every one of us has fallen into at one time or another in our lives. It is a state of mind that will affect you like nothing before. It is a state of mind that will cause you pain and anger. It is a state of mind that will bring you unhappiness for the rest of your life if you stay in it. Each and eveytime I have become a DAD (and yes I have done it more than once) I have suffered the consequences. The good news is I am going to let you know what it is, so that you don’t make the same mistakes, so that you can live a happy life, a life filled with enlightenment, success and hope. Are you ready for the secret? Continue reading »

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I Am So Glad Summer Is Winding Down

 Posted by Bill on July 25, 2011  Balancing Work and Children, General, Raising Children as a Single Parent, The Craziness of Single Parenting, Uncategorized  1 Response »
Jul 252011
 

It’s funny how when we are young we hope that summer never ends, but once we are parents we can’t wait until it does? Now I’m not saying that summer isn’t the greatest time of the year for all of us, but I for one am ready for it to end. As a single dad summer is that one time of the year when my kids have way to much free time on their hands, and since one of them doesn’t drive, that means I am on call throughout the day. I never have wanted my kids not to be able to get to their friends or go places that they enjoy, but my daughter needs to learn that I am in the mortgage business, not a driver for the local cab service.

Again summer is a great time of year for all of us, but I really am looking forward to getting back to some sort of structure. Granted my daughter has been on a world wide tour this summer that mirrors U-2′s, but she still is very active, which makes me very crazy. Oh how I long for the upcoming school days and some sort of structure again. My son on the other hand is easy. He sleeps in until after lunch, that is on the days he is not working, and has his own car. He is what you would call low maintenance. My daughter on the other hand is calling my by 9:00 am each morning with that same line, “I am soooo bored, there is nothing to do”. Funny how when I list the chores that need to be done she isn’t quite as bored anymore. Oh how I long for the upcoming school days and some sort of structure again.

I guess that I really shouldn’t complain though. It wasn’t that long ago that I had to constantly find things for them to do, places to drop them off at (all of which cost me money), or sitters to watch them.  I also believe that summer is a great way for the kids to create memories of a lifetime, recharge their batteries and remind me what it is like to still be young at heart. Summer is also a great time for all of us to warm ourselves with love, family and independence but again, Oh how I long for the upcoming school days and some sort of structure again. Continue reading »

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