A Dad’s Point-of-View, by Bruce Sallan – When Should We Take Risks?

 Posted by on July 20, 2010  General, Getting Your New Life In Order, Teenagers, Uncategorized  No Responses »
Jul 202010
 

We went on a family skiing trip and on my son’s first run of the season, he fell and broke his arm. Thankfully, it was a clean hairline fracture and he should heal just fine. It may take his ego a bit longer to recover, as he was trying to follow his girlfriend when he fell.

He recuperated and relaxed at the condo while the rest of our group continued to ski and enjoy the trip. I resumed my regular skiing antics which include doing tricks that are mostly done by kids half my age or younger.

Lots of sports have risks attached to them. When, as a parent, should we limit our kid’s activities and when should we show restraint? I do enjoy pushing my limits on skis, as I do tricks in the terrain park on the half-pipe (see attached photo), jumps, boxes, as well as hard mogul and/or steep runs. I’ve also gone heli-skiing where there is the omnipresent danger of avalanches. Continue reading »

The Kids Were Gone For Three Weeks and I Didn’t Miss Them

 Posted by on July 16, 2010  Balancing Work and Children, Dealing with Divorce and Your Ex, General, Getting Your New Life In Order, How to Communicate with Your Kids, Raising Children as a Single Parent, Taking Time for Yourself, Teenagers, The Craziness of Single Parenting, Uncategorized  No Responses »
Jul 162010
 

Well Jack and Michaela made their annual trek to Montana this summer to see their grandparents, cousins, aunt and uncles. I for the first time didn’t because I had to really focus on finishing my book “Kickin’ Butt a a Single Parent” 99 Tips Every Single Parent Must Have (available August 12th) and making a living in this difficult economy. Michaela was going to be gone for three weeks and Jack for 12 days. I have been without the kids before, but never this long. When you raise your kids 24/7 you become a close knit group. Sometimes this is good and well, sometimes this is not so good. We all have a tendency to get on each others nerves every now and then but always seem to work through it.

I have to tell you that after the first day I really didn’t miss them so much. I wondered if I should feel guilty about this or if i was just going through some sort of delayed separation syndrome. By the 5th day I still didn’t miss them. This is getting interesting now. By the 10th day I was considering asking my parents if they could stay another three weeks and you know what, I didn’t feel guilty at all:)

It’s interesting that no matter how much I love and enjoy my kids, I was really enjoying being away from them. I think that we all need some “Me Time” every once in awhile to recharge our batteries. We all need a break from our kids, and our kids need a break from us. I just hope that next summer they understand that as I send them off for eight weeks:)

I am Blessed to Have Supportive Kids

 Posted by on June 24, 2010  Balancing Work and Children, Dealing with Divorce and Your Ex, General, Getting Your New Life In Order, How to Communicate with Your Kids, Organizing, Raising Children as a Single Parent, Teenagers, The Craziness of Single Parenting, Uncategorized  No Responses »
Jun 242010
 

I think that as parents, especially single parents, we spend so much time wanting to be supportive of our kids. Maybe it’s because we only see them so often, or maybe because we worry about how being raised by a single parent might affect them later on in life.

Webster defines support as:

to bear or hold up ; serve as a foundation for.   Continue reading »

A Dad’s Point-of-View, by Bruce Sallan – “Best Friend or Best Parent?”

 Posted by on June 1, 2010  General, Teenagers  1 Response »
Jun 012010
 

We had a boy’s trip to Vegas. By “boys,” I mean my two boys, who were almost 16 and 13, at the time, and me, the oldest of the “boys” (according to my wife). I had to consider, yet again, the dilemma we confront as parents today, with the constant assault on our values and the non-stop sexual and violent imagery our kids face. We can’t fully shelter our kids, but what should be the limits?

When my boys were very young, their mom (my ex-wife) showed them the R-rated movie, “Pretty Woman” on our VCR, because she thought it was okay for them to see it, as it was her favorite movie. She felt they wouldn’t understand that the Julia Roberts character was a prostitute. I didn’t object and I think that was the first R-rated movie either of them saw.

Now, on this trip to Vegas, I took David, my younger son, to see “The Hangover,” as Will had already seen it with friends (which begs the question, how did he get into an R-rated movie without an adult?). He had my permission, so that isn’t the issue. I thought seeing “The Hangover” in Vegas would be fun and sort of appropriate. And, truthfully, we laughed loud and hard throughout much of the silliness. I found it more heartfelt than many of the other raunchy R-rated movies of late, but it still left me with a nagging feeling of innocence being lost too quickly. I’m still trying my best to preserve what little innocence I have left, as it’s clearly a lost cause with my boys. Continue reading »

A Parents Job Description

 Posted by on May 21, 2010  Balancing Work and Children, General, Getting Your New Life In Order, How to Communicate with Your Kids, Nutrition, Organizing, Raising Children as a Single Parent, Taking Time for Yourself, Teenagers, The Craziness of Single Parenting  No Responses »
May 212010
 

Since it is Friday and the weekend is upon us, I thought that I would share with you a job description that a friend of mine recently shared with me. I have posted this blog once before but believe that it it is worth repeating. I hope that it brings a smile to your face and starts your weekend off on the right foot. It is hilarious and something we can all relate to.

POSITION:

Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma Continue reading »

A Dad’s Point-of-View, by Bruce Sallan – Our Teens and Their Raging Angst

 Posted by on May 18, 2010  Teenagers  No Responses »
May 182010
 

Teen energy, angst, and anger manifest itself in so many ways. Every day it seems that we read about some teen that has done something unusually self-destructive, and occasionally destructive to others. Columbine was an extreme example of this. Many so-called “normal” teens tend to use or abuse the ol’ standbys of drinking, drugs, and sex to handle these emotions and changes. For my own 16-year-old, his reaction has been mostly anger. The irony is that I’ve found this to be both good and bad.

How hormones affect the average teen have been studied and documented, but no one really knows definitively their effect since each teen reacts in different ways. The same is true for most women’s experience with menopause, as my wife has suffered horribly while for her mother it was a blip on the screen of her mid-life. Will has done a little of the aforementioned “standbys” stated above, to some degree. But he’s done nothing extraordinary, over-the-top, or that different from all teens with the possible exception of his recent angry moods.

When I say moods, I mean moods. Let’s try a few descriptive words: sullen, quiet, loud, belligerent, intransigent, stubborn, willful, explosive. His impulsive behavior got him in a mess of trouble when he posted a mean-spirited comment on Facebook. The backlash, as it instantaneously circulated among all his friends and peers, was stunning. It nearly de-railed Will’s wonderful eight-month relationship with his girlfriend, as all her friends got involved, taking sides, and giving his minor comment a true life of its own. Continue reading »

The Eleven Things You Will Not Learn In School

 Posted by on May 7, 2010  General, How to Communicate with Your Kids, Raising Children as a Single Parent, Teenagers, Uncategorized  No Responses »
May 072010
 

A few years ago I was emailed this list of the eleven things you will not learn in school. I was told that it was presented by Bill Gates at a High School commencment speech. Since then I have been informed that it was actually an an excerpt from the book “Dumbing Down our Kids” by educator Charles Sykes. Regardless of who said it, I was so impressed with it that I shared it with  both Jack and Michaela. OK I have shared it with them on more than one occasion :) I now want to share the list with you, because as a parent I believe that our kids have come to expect more from the world than the world is actually willing to give. I want to make sure that my kids understand that there never has been, and never will be a substitute for hard work. I hope that you enjoy it as much as I have.

RULE 1
     Life  is not fair – get used to it.

     RULE 2
     The  world won’t care about your self-esteem. The world
     will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you  feel
     good about yourself. Continue reading »

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