I pull into the gym parking lot and it is packed. Of course it is, it’s Monday. People are trying to undo what they did over the weekend. And I think to myself “it’s gonna be crowded!!” I walk into the weight room and the only people there are the trianers and their clients. Where are all those people? I will tell you, they are either on a piece of cardio equipment(eliptical, treadmill etc…) or in a class. It’s always the same people week after week doing the same thing….cardio, cardio, cardio. “Cardio Queens”. Do you ever notice these people never change, they always look the same?(diet hold a big part in this, but that will be in another blog) I wonder what keeps them coming back and why do they do it? Which brings me to my next topic of cardio vs. weight training.

We all associate cardio and ‘classes’ with weight loss. Cardio improves your aerobic capacity and cardiovascular conditioning. Cardio wil also help to reduce over all body fat (with the proper nutrtion). Remember, you can’t out train bad nutrition.  The thinking, “If I have this chocolate cake I will run it off tomorrow”, doesn’t work, so get that out of your head.  Back to cardio…Cardio works the heart and lungs which increases the blood and oxygen flow, therefore you need more fuel. One cardio session, at a moderate to fast pace will burn about 10-12 calories a minute. good right? But the important thing to know is when you stop, so does your body.   You are only burning calories while exercising. The thing that cardio or classes (depending on which one you take) is missing is they don’t give the attention needed to each muscle.

Weight training uses the muscular system which will strengthens lean tissue(muscles),ligaments, and bones. This results in muscle tone, increased strength, and stronger bones and ligaments.  Muscles have shape, fat does not.   So while you burn fat during cardio, you are not shaping your body. Weight training will burn about 8-10 calories a minute, slightly less than cardio, but,  for every 3lbs of muscle you build, you burn an extra 120 calories doing absolutely nothing. Let me repeat that, you will burn extra calories doing NOTHING.   And if you do giant sets, super sets. or keep the time between sets short you can get some aerobic work in your weight training routine.  A very important thing to know about building lean tissue is, muscles take more energy to sustain so a person with more muscle will burn more calories doing any exercise and while sedentary. Muscle = Fat burning. One more thought on muscle….when you build muscle your weight may not change or may even go up. Muscle takes up less space and is more dense than fat. Go by how you look and how your clothes are fitting instead of the numbers on a scale.  So although you will be losing fat and gaining muscle, you may weigh more but look and feel so much better. Continue reading »

 

 

“With everything that happened to you, you can either feel sorry for yourself or treat what happened as a gift. Everything is either an opportunity to grow or an obstacle to keep you from growing. You get to choose.” Wayne Dyer

Over the years I have reflected back on this quote on more than one occasion. I have even sometimes wondered if the author was a single parent. During the past nine years I have been through living with an addictive wife, a broken marriage, interventions, rehab. centers, a separation, a divorce, the death of my children’s mother, the death of their grandmother, the executor of two estates, an IRS audit (which I won), a failing business, the meltdown of my investments in the stock market, a depreciating home value, raising my children on my own 24/7, dealing with their grief, anxiety and fear issues while wondering when, or if, it will ever stop? So again I say to myself:

“With everything that happened to you, you can either feel sorry for yourself or treat what happened as a gift. Everything is either an opportunity to grow or an obstacle to keep you from growing. You get to choose.” Continue reading »

 

Today I want to challenge each and everyone of you with my blog. I want to challenge you to be brutally honest with yourself and ask yourself just one question “Are you in Denial?”. I will bet that the majority of you will emphatically answer NO. I’m not in denial, I fully accept what has gone on in my life, what is going on in my life and why it has all happened, I have no regrets… But I will say to you right now that you ARE in denial, you just don’t know it yet. First let’s understand what denial is.

Webster’s Dictionary defines Denial as:

Refusal to admit the truth or reality (as of a statement or charge) (2) : assertion that an allegation is false. Continue reading »

 

In the 1986 movie “Jerry Maguire” there is a famous line where Jerry (Tom Cruise) flies back home to meet Dorothy ( Renee Zellweger) to tell her that he loves her and wants her in his life, and she tells him “You had me at hello”. What made that line so famous was that although the couple had been arguing for sometime, those five words “You had me at hello” said it all.

Sometimes in life when we say less, we are actually saying more!

When I was growing up,  my friends and I would pass each other in the hall and nod our heads. It was our way of acknowledging each other. Nodding our heads was our way of letting the other person know that they meant something to us. Nodding our heads said it all. Continue reading »

 

What have I been doing with my life? I always thought that life was suppose to teach me things each and every step of the way. As a young boy I attended school every day because I was told that it would teach me things that I didn’t already know. I graduated from college thinking that I would be wiser from the experience. I have tried and failed on my own for what seems like forever, because I was told that life lessons are invaluable. Imagine my surprise when I finally realized that “Everything I Need To Know About Life I learned In The Last 60 Days”! . Here are the things that I have learned about life over the past 60 days.

* Hard work does pay off.

* Time spent by yourself is the best way to reflect upon what’s important to you, and only you. It’s also a great way to calm your mind. Continue reading »

 

It seems that I am always getting emails from people asking me what the secret to happiness is as a single parent?  So many of these people are just plain unhappy being single as, a single parent. They seem to believe that they need to be with someone in order to validate their life. Then I get the emails from the married people telling me how unhappy they are, and again, if they were just single they would be happier. To this group I say “Be careful what you wish for”. The only place that you are going to find true happiness is first and foremost, within yourself. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side.

So why is it that everyone who is married thinks that I have the perfect life as a full time single dad. My friend Mike likes to tell me that I have it all figured out. I have branded myself at www.singleparentstown.com as a single dad, and in order to continue my mission, I must stay single. I remind him that some day I hope to find my soul mate again and live happily ever after, but he doesn’t believe me. He says  that he just likes to live vicariously through me. I then have to remind him that I have no vicarious to live through…

I recently noticed on Facebook that I must be single, married or complicated. Why are those the only options I have? Why can’t I be single and uncomplicated? What about those who want to be single and married? Or those that are married and want to be single? Oops, I better not go there… What about those who are complicated and want to be uncomplicated? Facebook really needs to give us all a few more options if we truly want to let our friends know who we are. Continue reading »

 

Recently my friend Davis Ehrler wrote a great blog Dare To Be YOU! here at www.singleparentstown.com We exchanged  some fun emails back and forth about the blog, and during one of those emails the Chinese New Year came up. It made me start to think about why the Chinese name each year after an animal. What I found out was that the use of animal symbols in the Chinese Zodiac dates back to the 6thCentury. According to legend, the Jade Emperor, invited all the animals in the kingdom to celebrate the New Year, at the end of the first lunar month.

For unknown reasons, only twelve animals came (Rat, Ox, Tiger, Rabbit “In some versions it’s Cat,” Dragon, Snake, Horse, Goat, Monkey, Rooster, Dog, and Pig”) . The Jade emperor was so happy to see them that he decided to name a year after each of them. The animal would have an influence on everyone born in that year and would bestow its main characteristics on them.

These twelve animals formed the Chinese Zodiac, based on the lunar calendar, by order of their arrival, and are listed above. Continue reading »