A Dad’s Point-of-View — R E S P E C T, Find Out What It Means to Me

 Posted by Bruce on September 28, 2010  General  1 Response »
Sep 282010
 

R-E-S-P-E-C-T, Find Out What It Means to Me

Respect. Isn’t that really all parents want from their kids? Isn’t it about the hardest thing to actually teach them to do–treat us with respect? I struggle with this a great deal due to the way my two teenage boys sometimes speak to me, respond to a request, and generally behave. It is not with much respect, at times, and I don’t like it.

Aretha had the biggest hit with her rendition of “Respect” though it was originally performed by Otis Redding in 1965 (here’s a link to a great video of her performing it in 1968). Some of the lyrics to that classic song resonant for me on this topic: “All I’m askin’ for is a little respect…”

So, what is the solution? I think it may be in our demands and expectations of our kids. If we allow them to be disrespectful, we are essentially condoning that behavior. I finally realized that certain things just were no long acceptable between my sons and me and that there had to be serious consequences if they were not being respectful. Continue reading »

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A Dad’s Point-of-View – What Happened to THE Family Dinner?

 Posted by Bruce on September 21, 2010  General  No Responses »
Sep 212010
 

A Dad’s Point-of-View, by Bruce Sallan

The Family Dinner

I had a discussion with some other dads the other day about “the family dinner.” To my surprise, many of these men described their family eating adventures as just that, an adventure. Or, more specifically: a circus, trial, ordeal, and other pejoratives.

My immediate thought was about the classic image of Norman Rockwell’s painting, “Freedom From Want” with the image of “mom” or “grandma” presenting the turkey at what is likely a Thanksgiving dinner, with the whole family eager, excited, and present. “Dad” or “grandpa” is looking on, with the expectation that he will carve the bird. How quaint; how lovely; how sadly antiquated, I fear.

What was evident in our discussion, as is so often the case, was that each man’s personal background and family experience, informed their own family experience. And, of course, their wife’s background also contributed to the ritual or lack thereof in the family. Continue reading »

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A Dad’s Point-of-View, by Bruce Sallan – LIFE — Wait a Minute and It WILL Change!

 Posted by Bruce on September 7, 2010  General  No Responses »
Sep 072010
 

Life–Wait a Minute and It Will Change

There’s a lesson that is told in most cultures. In Canada, it’s about the weather: “Wait a minute and it will change.” Or, most everywhere on the good or bad in life; “This too shall pass.” All are so true. Right now, our family is going through both some ups and downs. I try to remember the latter adage during the “down” periods and not expect the “up” ones to always last.

Sticking with the clichéd sayings, there is another that is credited to Rabbi Joseph Telushkin’s mother that goes something like, “The only happy people I know are people I don’t know well.” Think about it. When you know someone well, you usually know his or her troubles. When you don’t, you invariably get the proverbial answer “Good” or “Terrific” to the greeting “How are you?”

So, to beat a dead horse, and keep this cliché-ridden streak going, there’s another saying, paraphrased since I don’t remember it exactly, “I wouldn’t trade my problems for yours any day” and most of us wouldn’t if we knew what “your” problems were! Continue reading »

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