A Dad’s Point-of-View — R E S P E C T, Find Out What It Means to Me

 Posted by Bruce on September 28, 2010  General  1 Response »
Sep 282010
 

R-E-S-P-E-C-T, Find Out What It Means to Me

Respect. Isn’t that really all parents want from their kids? Isn’t it about the hardest thing to actually teach them to do–treat us with respect? I struggle with this a great deal due to the way my two teenage boys sometimes speak to me, respond to a request, and generally behave. It is not with much respect, at times, and I don’t like it.

Aretha had the biggest hit with her rendition of “Respect” though it was originally performed by Otis Redding in 1965 (here’s a link to a great video of her performing it in 1968). Some of the lyrics to that classic song resonant for me on this topic: “All I’m askin’ for is a little respect…”

So, what is the solution? I think it may be in our demands and expectations of our kids. If we allow them to be disrespectful, we are essentially condoning that behavior. I finally realized that certain things just were no long acceptable between my sons and me and that there had to be serious consequences if they were not being respectful. Continue reading »

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A Dad’s Point-of-View, by Bruce Sallan – LIFE — Wait a Minute and It WILL Change!

 Posted by Bruce on September 7, 2010  General  No Responses »
Sep 072010
 

Life–Wait a Minute and It Will Change

There’s a lesson that is told in most cultures. In Canada, it’s about the weather: “Wait a minute and it will change.” Or, most everywhere on the good or bad in life; “This too shall pass.” All are so true. Right now, our family is going through both some ups and downs. I try to remember the latter adage during the “down” periods and not expect the “up” ones to always last.

Sticking with the clichéd sayings, there is another that is credited to Rabbi Joseph Telushkin’s mother that goes something like, “The only happy people I know are people I don’t know well.” Think about it. When you know someone well, you usually know his or her troubles. When you don’t, you invariably get the proverbial answer “Good” or “Terrific” to the greeting “How are you?”

So, to beat a dead horse, and keep this cliché-ridden streak going, there’s another saying, paraphrased since I don’t remember it exactly, “I wouldn’t trade my problems for yours any day” and most of us wouldn’t if we knew what “your” problems were! Continue reading »

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A Dad’s Point-of-View, by Bruce Sallan – Can Teenagers EVER Be Wonderful?

 Posted by Bruce on August 26, 2010  Teenagers  No Responses »
Aug 262010
 

It’s so easy to complain about our teens. I know I’m guilty of too often dishing out criticisms, admonishments, and lectures. I worry that my boys might be doing drugs, drinking, or some other peer-pressure stupidity. But, they also deserve my support when they do well and my understanding when they slip up.

My 16-year-old, Will, recently bounded into my office, eager to talk. Wisely, I pulled away from the hypnotic lure of my computer, and faced him squarely, ready for whatever followed.

Normally, when Will comes to talk to me, I am concerned that he either wants something or is going to confess something that I wish I didn’t have to hear. This time, I listened. And I listened and I listened. I smiled, I nodded, I grunted. But, mostly I listened. He had made a remarkable discovery! What was this remarkable revelation? “Life is complicated and full of wonder and amazing things. Where did life come from? Why do we sleep? How does our brain work? Why are there different languages and how did they evolve?” He literally rambled off these and other subjects, as if he’d just discovered the wheel! Continue reading »

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A Dad’s Point-of-View, by Bruce Sallan – Two Generations Growing Up Together

 Posted by Bruce on August 21, 2010  General  No Responses »
Aug 212010
 

Sometimes, life brings us a lot of lessons at once. In my family, we’ve gotten our share of them recently and they’ve added dimension to our lives and allowed us to each grow in different ways, without necessarily providing a neat and regular narrative for my column. That hasn’t stopped me yet and I think you’ll find they all coalesce into something meaningful.

Let’s begin with my older son growing as a rock ‘n’ roller, a talented drummer, guitarist, and vocalist. His passion carried over to an extraordinary opportunity of a lifetime when he got to jam with his idol, Chris Cornell (Soundgarden and Audioslave) at The Roxy Theatre, on Sunset Blvd., in Hollywood. The full story and video are here, but suffice it to say, I became a sort of “stage dad” along the way.

I was extremely proud of his growth though I wasn’t actually present when he took the initiative to reach out to Chris Cornell by calling out and asking to jam with him. Frankly, the tickets were too expensive for me. But, after the fact, I used my recently acquired social media skills and “relationships” (are they really my “friends?”) to help disseminate the story on various web-sites, my column outlets, distributing the YouTube video, and promoting this opportunity for him. Continue reading »

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