A Letter To Sara, My Deceased Ex. Wife, Once Again

 Posted by Bill on December 19, 2011  General, Uncategorized  No Responses »
Dec 192011
 

I originally posted this blog one year ago. I wanted to repost it again during  the Christmas week, as a reminder to all of you how blessed you are to have people in your life, no matter how difficult they may make your life. Families come in all shapes and sizes. Families come with happiness and saddness. Families come with challangees and success. No matter how difficuklt your family, your children or your ex spouse may be making your life, be thankful that you have them, because you never know when they will be gone. Merry Christmas to all of you…

Dear Sara;

It’s been almost four and a half years since you passed away, six years since we divorced and eight years since you left me to be a sole parent to Jack and Michaela. I figured that maybe now we should talk again. First let me update you on the kids. Continue reading »

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My Son Taught Me Something That He Wish’s He Hadn’t

 Posted by Bill on October 3, 2011  General, Getting Your New Life In Order, How to Communicate with Your Kids, Raising Children as a Single Parent  1 Response »
Oct 032011
 

Over the years I have learned so much from my children. I have learned how to smile when I was feeling sad, I have learned how to be patient when I was feeling anxious, I have learned how to juggle when both hands were tied behind my back, I have learned how to do three loads of laundry before most people are even awake and I have learned what unconditional love is. Of all the lessons my children have taught me, I think the best one that I have ever learned was taught to me by my son Jack late last August. 

One day Jack and I were having one of our Dad versus seventeen year old son difference of opinion conversations. Ok it was an argument about what I expected of Jack and what he expected of me. As I threatened once again to take a way his cell phone, he responded by saying to me “Go ahead Dad, your hollow promises don’t mean anything to me.” As I started to get more upset with him I stopped in my tracks and thought hold it, he thinks that my threats are hollow huh? 

Now in my own defense, I am not the type of Dad who says one thing and does the other, it’s just that I don’t always follow through with my punishments until the end, 100% of the time. I would like to think that I follow through at least 90% of the time, but my daughter would put that number somewhere around 70% and obviously based upon Jack’s comments, he would put it somewhere around 10% of the time. Continue reading »

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How Is Your Train Ride Going?

 Posted by Bill on September 26, 2011  Dealing with Divorce and Your Ex, General, Raising Children as a Single Parent, The Craziness of Single Parenting  No Responses »
Sep 262011
 

I wrote this blog sometime back and wanted to repost it for all of you. Life is funny how it moves forward, sometimes to fast and sometimes to slow, but rest assured it will continue to move forward. I hope that this blog today helps you understand that life is like a train ride and only you have the pleasure of being on the entire ride from start to finish. Have an amazing day everyone…

Someone once told me that life is like taking a train ride. The unique part about it is that from start to finish, you and only you, will be the only one on the entire ride.  Oh sure others will join you for part of your ride, but again you and only you, will be the only one on the entire ride. The ride usually starts off slowly and calmly, but before you know it the train picks up speed and you seem to be flying along faster than you might be comfortable with. There will be twists and turns, peaks and valleys, happiness and sadness along the way, but again you and only you, will be the only one on the entire ride.  The train will occasionally stop along the way and others will join you, but again you and only you, will be the only one on the entire ride.

I often have thought about the times on the ride, where we knew that we were about to enter a dark tunnel, and just couldn’t seem to do anything about it. It’s just part of our ride. Once in the tunnel darkness consumes us, and depending upon the length of the tunnel, our fear of disaster is heightened. We worry that our ride is about to turn into a train wreck. What I have learned on my ride, especially during those trips into darkness, is that we always come out of the tunnel to the light again. I have also learned that since I will surly exit the tunnel intact, I sure as the heck want to make sure that I don’t do anything, while in the darkness, that I will be embarrassed for, ashamed of or regret once I come out of the tunnel. I want to approach each and every dark tunnel with confidence, hope and dignity because again, I will exit the tunnel, and I and only I, will be the only one on the entire ride. Continue reading »

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I Am So Glad Summer Is Winding Down

 Posted by Bill on July 25, 2011  Balancing Work and Children, General, Raising Children as a Single Parent, The Craziness of Single Parenting, Uncategorized  1 Response »
Jul 252011
 

It’s funny how when we are young we hope that summer never ends, but once we are parents we can’t wait until it does? Now I’m not saying that summer isn’t the greatest time of the year for all of us, but I for one am ready for it to end. As a single dad summer is that one time of the year when my kids have way to much free time on their hands, and since one of them doesn’t drive, that means I am on call throughout the day. I never have wanted my kids not to be able to get to their friends or go places that they enjoy, but my daughter needs to learn that I am in the mortgage business, not a driver for the local cab service.

Again summer is a great time of year for all of us, but I really am looking forward to getting back to some sort of structure. Granted my daughter has been on a world wide tour this summer that mirrors U-2′s, but she still is very active, which makes me very crazy. Oh how I long for the upcoming school days and some sort of structure again. My son on the other hand is easy. He sleeps in until after lunch, that is on the days he is not working, and has his own car. He is what you would call low maintenance. My daughter on the other hand is calling my by 9:00 am each morning with that same line, “I am soooo bored, there is nothing to do”. Funny how when I list the chores that need to be done she isn’t quite as bored anymore. Oh how I long for the upcoming school days and some sort of structure again.

I guess that I really shouldn’t complain though. It wasn’t that long ago that I had to constantly find things for them to do, places to drop them off at (all of which cost me money), or sitters to watch them.  I also believe that summer is a great way for the kids to create memories of a lifetime, recharge their batteries and remind me what it is like to still be young at heart. Summer is also a great time for all of us to warm ourselves with love, family and independence but again, Oh how I long for the upcoming school days and some sort of structure again. Continue reading »

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I Am Not Sure How To Feel About This..

 Posted by Bill on May 22, 2011  Balancing Work and Children, Raising Children as a Single Parent, Teenagers, Uncategorized  1 Response »
May 222011
 

I know that each one of my children is a gift from God. I also know that as a parent, it is my job to build a foundation that one day will allow them to spread their wings and soar, to fly without fear, to fly with confidence and to fly in the direction that their heart takes them. I have always supported my kids in whatever sport, event, hobby and challenge they have faced. I love them unconditionally and without judgment. I love them for their uniqueness and their differences. I love them for who they are and what they are not. I love them for being them.

Have you ever noticed how people tend to describe their children, as well as others, by mentioning only a few of their many amazing qualities? They say things like; Tommy is such a great athlete, or Suzy is such a good student, or Mary is an amazing dancer, or Joey is a wonderful musician. I’m not immune form this. People always seem to describe my daughter Michaela as, beautiful with amazing blue eyes and a good soccer player. I agree with both of these descriptions but I also describe her as a protector of the underdog, a determined young lady, and one who has a heart of gold. People always seem to describe my son Jack as handsome, witty and smart. Again I agree with all of these assessments, but I also describe him as independent, headstrong and a young man who can do anything, and I mean anything, that he sets his mind too.

Ever since Jack was young I have had this gut feeling that he was going to truly do “something special” in this world. Since he is witty and charming, stubborn and independent and very intelligent (he had the 30th highest score out of 400 kids on his high school entrance exam) I always thought that he might become a doctor, a lawyer, or a successful entrepreneur. I really didn’t care which career he chose, although with the cost of med school being what it is,I was hoping that option three would be the last of his choices. All that I really ever wanted for Jack was for him to reach his full potential, and do that “special thing” that I have always believed in my gut he was destined to do. Continue reading »

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Are You In Denial?

 Posted by Bill on May 15, 2011  Balancing Work and Children, Dealing with Divorce and Your Ex, Nutrition, Raising Children as a Single Parent, Single Entrepreneur Mom, Taking Time for Yourself  3 Responses »
May 152011
 

Today I want to challenge each and everyone of you with my blog. I want to challenge you to be brutally honest with yourself and ask yourself just one question “Are you in Denial?”. I will bet that the majority of you will emphatically answer NO. I’m not in denial, I fully accept what has gone on in my life, what is going on in my life and why it has all happened, I have no regrets… But I will say to you right now that you ARE in denial, you just don’t know it yet. First let’s understand what denial is.

Webster’s Dictionary defines Denial as:

Refusal to admit the truth or reality (as of a statement or charge) (2) : assertion that an allegation is false. Continue reading »

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Why Didn’t I Have Twins?

 Posted by Bill on April 25, 2011  Balancing Work and Children, Dealing with Divorce and Your Ex, Getting Your New Life In Order, Teenagers, The Craziness of Single Parenting  5 Responses »
Apr 252011
 

I have always said that I am the most blessed father in the world to have my children. Raising them on my own has definitely been a challenge, but with challenges come great rewards. I hope that I can just keep the two of them around long enough to realize this.

My son is now 17 and I am so proud of him. He and I have a bond that although not expressed daily, is there in our hearts. I have watched him mature more and more each day. His sense of humor is second to none.  The other night I told him that “Yes Jack we are going to eat together as a family” to which he replied “Dad I promise that if you let me eat downstairs in front of the TV, I won’t do drugs, get anyone pregnant or go to jail”. As he walked down the stairs to the TV, I wondered where he gets this from. Then I looked in the mirror J

My daughter who has been the apple of my eye since the day she was born has always been a joy. She has a heart of gold and a smile that stretches from here to eternity. She has never been a problem, just a good kid. That was until she turned 14 last August. I have heard stories of how girls transform at this age but hearing stories and experiencing it are two separate things. The other night Jack asked if we could just “put her down” There is that quick wit and humor again. What is it that turns little angels into devils at 14? Continue reading »

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