When It Comes To Parenting Does Practice Make Perfect?

 Posted by Bill on September 19, 2011  General, How to Communicate with Your Kids, Raising Children as a Single Parent, Teenagers, The Craziness of Single Parenting  No Responses »
Sep 192011
 
They say that practice makes perfect. I have decided that whoever said that was obviously not a parent. I have practiced at being a good parent ever since day one, and I continue to practice at it each and every day. Last week I thought that I had finally figured it out, and then my 15 year old teenage daughter reminded me that I have a long way to go. Funny how teenagers seem to think that they know everything. I am starting to think that parenting is allot like the game of golf. No matter how much you practice, you will never get it totally right. Oh you may score well every once in awhile, but just when you start to think that  you’ve got  it figured out, you slice one it into the woods and end up taking a penalty stroke. Over the years I have had my share of penalty strokes with my kids.
The problem with being a good parent, is that your kids are constantly changing on you. Once you get to the toddler stage figured out here comes the young child stage, then the pre-teen stage and finally the dreaded teenager stage. Looking back on the early stages, I now realize that the degree of difficulty changes with each and every  stage my kids go through. It must be Gods way of reminding you that practice doesn’t always make you perfect, but it will make you better. 
I am blessed to have my parents as great examples. Since they raised  five kids, they had allot of practice. Looking back on it now I realized that they weren’t perfect, but at least they kept practicing. Actually with five kids, maybe they should have stopped practicing having children after the first two:) I am the oldest by the way! One thing that I do know is that if you as a parent keep practicing, your children will be the beneficiary of it. I pray every night for those children who don’t have parents who practice. Who have parents that give up. They are the children that will never understand how to become a good parent themselves. They are the ones whose children will turn to the dark side, when if their parents had just practiced more, they would have all seen the light. Continue reading »
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I Am So Glad Summer Is Winding Down

 Posted by Bill on July 25, 2011  Balancing Work and Children, General, Raising Children as a Single Parent, The Craziness of Single Parenting, Uncategorized  1 Response »
Jul 252011
 

It’s funny how when we are young we hope that summer never ends, but once we are parents we can’t wait until it does? Now I’m not saying that summer isn’t the greatest time of the year for all of us, but I for one am ready for it to end. As a single dad summer is that one time of the year when my kids have way to much free time on their hands, and since one of them doesn’t drive, that means I am on call throughout the day. I never have wanted my kids not to be able to get to their friends or go places that they enjoy, but my daughter needs to learn that I am in the mortgage business, not a driver for the local cab service.

Again summer is a great time of year for all of us, but I really am looking forward to getting back to some sort of structure. Granted my daughter has been on a world wide tour this summer that mirrors U-2′s, but she still is very active, which makes me very crazy. Oh how I long for the upcoming school days and some sort of structure again. My son on the other hand is easy. He sleeps in until after lunch, that is on the days he is not working, and has his own car. He is what you would call low maintenance. My daughter on the other hand is calling my by 9:00 am each morning with that same line, “I am soooo bored, there is nothing to do”. Funny how when I list the chores that need to be done she isn’t quite as bored anymore. Oh how I long for the upcoming school days and some sort of structure again.

I guess that I really shouldn’t complain though. It wasn’t that long ago that I had to constantly find things for them to do, places to drop them off at (all of which cost me money), or sitters to watch them.  I also believe that summer is a great way for the kids to create memories of a lifetime, recharge their batteries and remind me what it is like to still be young at heart. Summer is also a great time for all of us to warm ourselves with love, family and independence but again, Oh how I long for the upcoming school days and some sort of structure again. Continue reading »

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Recently A Single Mother Shared This Letter With Me..I Now Want To Share It With You

 Posted by Bill on May 27, 2011  General, Raising Children as a Single Parent, The Craziness of Single Parenting  No Responses »
May 272011
 

I have a friend of mine who is an amazing single mother. She is always present for her children, but like so many of us single parents, not sure if she is getting through to her kids. Earlier this week she shared with me a “Creed” that her daughter wrote in school. What makes this letter so amazing is that over the years this beautiful young lady has been through allot. She has experienced the death of a sister, the divorce of her parents and a move to a new home. For all of us that worry about how our kids deal with life changing experiences, never forget that kids are very resilient, especially when we as parents are there for them.

 My Creed

I believe in sunsets and watching the stars Continue reading »

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Are You In Denial?

 Posted by Bill on May 15, 2011  Balancing Work and Children, Dealing with Divorce and Your Ex, Nutrition, Raising Children as a Single Parent, Single Entrepreneur Mom, Taking Time for Yourself  3 Responses »
May 152011
 

Today I want to challenge each and everyone of you with my blog. I want to challenge you to be brutally honest with yourself and ask yourself just one question “Are you in Denial?”. I will bet that the majority of you will emphatically answer NO. I’m not in denial, I fully accept what has gone on in my life, what is going on in my life and why it has all happened, I have no regrets… But I will say to you right now that you ARE in denial, you just don’t know it yet. First let’s understand what denial is.

Webster’s Dictionary defines Denial as:

Refusal to admit the truth or reality (as of a statement or charge) (2) : assertion that an allegation is false. Continue reading »

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How’s Your Train Ride Going?

 Posted by Bill on May 2, 2011  Balancing Work and Children, Dealing with Divorce and Your Ex, General, Getting Your New Life In Order  No Responses »
May 022011
 

Someone once told me that life is like taking a train ride. The unique part about it is that from start to finish, you and only you, will be the only one on the entire ride.  Oh sure others will join you for part of your ride, but again you and only you, will be the only one on the entire ride. The ride usually starts off slowly and calmly, but before you know it the train picks up speed and you seem to be flying along faster than you might be comfortable with. There will be twists and turns, peaks and valleys, happiness and sadness along the way, but again you and only you, will be the only one on the entire ride.  The train will occasionally stop along the way and others will join you, but again you and only you, will be the only one on the entire ride.

I often have thought about the times on the ride, where we knew that we were about to enter a dark tunnel, and just couldn’t seem to do anything about it. It’s just part of our ride. Once in the tunnel darkness consumes us, and depending upon the length of the tunnel, our fear of disaster is heightened. We worry that our ride is about to turn into a train wreck. What I have learned on my ride, especially during those trips into darkness, is that we always come out of the tunnel to the light again. I have also learned that since I will surly exit the tunnel intact, I sure as the heck want to make sure that I don’t do anything, while in the darkness, that I will be embarrassed for, ashamed of or regret once I come out of the tunnel. I want to approach each and every dark tunnel with confidence, hope and dignity because again, I will exit the tunnel, and I and only I, will be the only one on the entire ride.

I have also thought about all of the people who so far who have joined me on my train ride. From friends to family, from associates to enemies, and from those that were close to me at the time, to the total strangers. Some of these people are still on the ride with me, and hopefully many of them will stay on the ride with me for some time to come. The crazy thing about those who join me is that I never really know when, or if, they are going to get off. Each time I feel the train starting to slow down I wonder is someone I know is getting off or is someone new about to join me? I even wonder, God forbid, is this the end of the ride for me. Continue reading »

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“You Had Me At Hello”

 Posted by Bill on March 28, 2011  Balancing Work and Children, Dealing with Divorce and Your Ex, General, Getting Your New Life In Order, How to Communicate with Your Kids, Organizing, Raising Children as a Single Parent, Taking Time for Yourself, Teenagers  No Responses »
Mar 282011
 

In the 1986 movie “Jerry Maguire” there is a famous line where Jerry (Tom Cruise) flies back home to meet Dorothy ( Renee Zellweger) to tell her that he loves her and wants her in his life, and she tells him “You had me at hello”. What made that line so famous was that although the couple had been arguing for sometime, those five words “You had me at hello” said it all.

Sometimes in life when we say less, we are actually saying more!

When I was growing up,  my friends and I would pass each other in the hall and nod our heads. It was our way of acknowledging each other. Nodding our heads was our way of letting the other person know that they meant something to us. Nodding our heads said it all. Continue reading »

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Everything, And Everyone, Have An Expiration Date!

 Posted by Bill on March 7, 2011  General  2 Responses »
Mar 072011
 

This morning I attended a funeral for one of the employees of our mortgage company, Mike McPhee. I only knew Mike for a short period of time, but during that time Mike always impressed me. He was hard working, organized, positive, helpful and always had a smile on his face. He was built well, in great shape and lived a clean life. Maybe that is why it was so difficult to understand how someone like Mike, could leave work on Friday, go skiing on the weekend, and be dead six days later from a heart attack. It just didn’t make sense…

While sitting at the funeral this morning, I started to think about all those who have gone before me. Not once did God call me up in advance and say “Hey Bill, just so you know, someone close to you is going to die tonight at 11:52 p.m. just thought that I would give you a heads up”. God doesn’t work that way. When my grandparents died I had no prior knowledge of the exact date or time. When my little sister Mary Ann passed away in her sleep, no one knew the night before that she wasn’t going to wake up the next morning. When my ex wife Sara died, I guarantee you that the kids and I never saw it coming. I have friends who have lost loved ones to cancer and knew that the end was near, but never once got that call from God with the time and date that it was going to happen.

Someone once told me that everyone, and everything, have an expiration date on them. Food, cars, business partnerships, friendships, relationships and us. It made me think about how when people attend funerals, they always wish that they could have known what was about to happen. They wish that they knew the expiration date of the person, or that God would have sent them a text with what was about to happen. They wish that they could have said those things that they never quite got around to saying.  It also made me think about those closest to me that I take for granted. I assume that I will see them tomorrow, or next week, or next month. Mikes family assumed that the day he went skiing, my parents did the night that they put Mary Ann in bed, and my kids did the last time they saw their mom. Continue reading »

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