How’s Your Train Ride Going?

 Posted by Bill on May 2, 2011  Balancing Work and Children, Dealing with Divorce and Your Ex, General, Getting Your New Life In Order  No Responses »
May 022011
 

Someone once told me that life is like taking a train ride. The unique part about it is that from start to finish, you and only you, will be the only one on the entire ride.  Oh sure others will join you for part of your ride, but again you and only you, will be the only one on the entire ride. The ride usually starts off slowly and calmly, but before you know it the train picks up speed and you seem to be flying along faster than you might be comfortable with. There will be twists and turns, peaks and valleys, happiness and sadness along the way, but again you and only you, will be the only one on the entire ride.  The train will occasionally stop along the way and others will join you, but again you and only you, will be the only one on the entire ride.

I often have thought about the times on the ride, where we knew that we were about to enter a dark tunnel, and just couldn’t seem to do anything about it. It’s just part of our ride. Once in the tunnel darkness consumes us, and depending upon the length of the tunnel, our fear of disaster is heightened. We worry that our ride is about to turn into a train wreck. What I have learned on my ride, especially during those trips into darkness, is that we always come out of the tunnel to the light again. I have also learned that since I will surly exit the tunnel intact, I sure as the heck want to make sure that I don’t do anything, while in the darkness, that I will be embarrassed for, ashamed of or regret once I come out of the tunnel. I want to approach each and every dark tunnel with confidence, hope and dignity because again, I will exit the tunnel, and I and only I, will be the only one on the entire ride.

I have also thought about all of the people who so far who have joined me on my train ride. From friends to family, from associates to enemies, and from those that were close to me at the time, to the total strangers. Some of these people are still on the ride with me, and hopefully many of them will stay on the ride with me for some time to come. The crazy thing about those who join me is that I never really know when, or if, they are going to get off. Each time I feel the train starting to slow down I wonder is someone I know is getting off or is someone new about to join me? I even wonder, God forbid, is this the end of the ride for me. Continue reading »

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A Letter To Sara, My Deceased Ex. Wife

 Posted by Bill on December 6, 2010  Balancing Work and Children, Dealing with Divorce and Your Ex, General, Getting Your New Life In Order, How to Communicate with Your Kids, Raising Children as a Single Parent, Taking Time for Yourself, Teenagers, The Craziness of Single Parenting  15 Responses »
Dec 062010
 

Dear Sara;

It’s been almost three and a half years since you passed away, five years since we divorced and seven years since you left me to be a sole parent to Jack and Michaela. I figured that maybe now we should talk again. First let me update you on the kids.

Jack for the most part is doing great. He has friends that love him, a personality that you would cherish and and a stubbornness that you would respect. He is peaceful in his spirit, smart in his thinking but like you he occasionally plays the victim.  If God didn’t tell you he had the 30th highest score on his high school entrance exam, out of 425 kids. He gets that from you Sara. Unfortunately school seems to bore him and thus his GPA is around a 2.something (he gets that from me). He is 5’7 1/2 ” and is committed to joining the US Army Rangers when he gets out of high school. I really want him to attend college but he is adamant that his calling is with the Rangers. I know that it is not what either of us would have chosen for him but I will support him all the way. I am actually very proud of him because how many 16 year olds are there that know exactly what they want to do with their life.  I am so proud of him and you would be as well.

He is like you in so many ways Sara, but he is still so angry with you. I know that he won’t admit it to me but he misses you dearly. He needed a mom in his life to hold him when he felt sad, to comfort him when he was sick and to talk to him like only a mom can do. I worry about him because he has not had that female influence around since you died. I know that he is strong, but it’s one thing for me to know this, and totally another to understand it. Now that he is 16 I worry that I can’t help him anymore. I remind him daily of all the wonderful traits he inherited from you and how much you loved him, but I know that he tunes it out. Don’t worry though, I know deep down in my heart that he loves you with all his heart, and will one day make us both very proud. Continue reading »

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I Feel Bad For Two Parent Households

 Posted by Bill on November 8, 2010  Balancing Work and Children, Dealing with Divorce and Your Ex, General, Getting Your New Life In Order, How to Communicate with Your Kids, Organizing, Raising Children as a Single Parent, Single Entrepreneur Mom, Taking Time for Yourself, Teenagers, The Craziness of Single Parenting, Uncategorized  8 Responses »
Nov 082010
 

OK now that I have your attention let me explain. For years, all I have heard is how tough it is for the single parent. How we have to do it all on our own. How we have no one to help. How we have so little time for ourselves and so much work. How our kids will be effected because they are being raised by a single parent. How sad it is. Well let me inform you all of one thing, I feel blessed to be raising my kids on my own. Oh sure it would be nice to have some extra help and a little more free time every now and then, but that’s life. As the saying goes “Stuff happens”. Get over it…  Stuff happens in every household. Below is a list of “stuff” that I, and only I, get to experience as a single parent.

  1. I’m on call 24/7. I like that, as it gives me a sense of purpose
  2. When the kids got hurt I got to kiss every boo-boo.
  3. I recognize fully that my children are uniquely gifted and valuable individuals because I get to watch it happen each and every day.
  4. I get to plan every birthday party and get 100% of the credit. This too gives me a sense of purpose.
  5. I get to create a warm and loving home, all by myself.
  6. I’m the one they call when they are sick at school.
  7. I’m also the one who misses work to take care of them.
  8. I get to teach them the value of friendships.
  9. I get to help them make good decisions on a daily basis, or at least watch as they lean from their bad decisions.
  10. I am the one that gets to take them school cloths shopping every time.
  11. I know everything about their medical and school records.
  12. The report cards always come to me.
  13. I am the only one that has to live by my decisions as a parent
  14. No ones tells me, “You should spend more time with the kids”.
  15. I know the difference between “wants” and “needs”.
  16. I get to teach my children how to be responsible for themselves.
  17. I have to demonstrate resilience and determination every day.
  18. Your kids know they’re loved.
  19. Your kids are proud of you, too.

You see there are really so many benefits to being a single parent. Am I exhausted at times? Sure I am, but it is a good exhaustion. Do I miss having extra free time? Sure I do, but on the flip side, I get too spend more time with my kids? Do I wish that I had more help? Definitely, but there is no greater satisfaction than knowing I am totally responsible for the kids. Do I have a fear that I may do something wrong? Yes I do, but fear is a great motivator. It motivates me to keep a smile on my face, hope in my heart and a belief that someday when my kids are older, they are going to say those four words to me and only me, that will bring me to my knees. Continue reading »

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Are You Looking For Your Kids?

 Posted by Bill on October 25, 2010  Balancing Work and Children, Dealing with Divorce and Your Ex, General, Getting Your New Life In Order, How to Communicate with Your Kids  1 Response »
Oct 252010
 

Have you ever heard the story about the little boy who answered the phone call?

One day, the phone rang, and the little boy answered.
“May I speak to your parents?”
“They’re busy.”
“Oh. Is anybody else there?”
“The police.”
“Can I speak to them?”
“They’re busy.”
“Oh. Is anybody else there?”
“The firemen.”
“Can I speak to them?”
“They’re busy.”

“So let me get this straight — your parents, the police, and the firemen are there, but they’re all busy? What are they doing?”

“Lookin for me.” Continue reading »

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3 tips from “Kickin’ Butt as a Single Parent-99 Tips That Every Single Parent Must Have”

 Posted by Bill on September 24, 2010  Balancing Work and Children, Dealing with Divorce and Your Ex, General, Getting Your New Life In Order, How to Communicate with Your Kids, Organizing, Raising Children as a Single Parent, Taking Time for Yourself, Teenagers, The Craziness of Single Parenting  No Responses »
Sep 242010
 

I wanted to share with you today three tips form my new book “Kickin’ Butt as a Single Parent-99 Tips That Every Single Parent Must Have”. I believe that these tips will help empower you as a parent to succeed like never before. I would love to hear back from you what tips have helped you over the years. Have a great weekend my friends…

 Tip 1: Create a personal song list.

This tip was one best things I ever did for myself. I made a list of my all-time favorite songs; the songs that meant the most to me in my past. Once I did this, I had a CD created with each song, and then downloaded it on to my I-Pod. Continue reading »

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I Love Having Teenagers

 Posted by Bill on September 3, 2010  Teenagers  No Responses »
Sep 032010
 

I can’t tell you the number of people, who when I tell them that I have teenagers, say things like “Wow that must be tough” or “Good luck you will need it”. I don’t care, I love having teenagers. I really do. I can still remember what my life was like as a teenager. I can remember when I was honest with my parents and when I was not. I can remember all of the things that I put my parents through. Believe me growing up in a family of five, where you came home when the street light came on, we had allot of time to put our parents through hell. I know that my kids, or at least one of them,  will do the same to me but… I still love having teenagers.

So why you ask? Why after all that you put your parents through? Why after all of the warnings others are giving you? Why knowing full well that the “apple doesn’t fall far from the tree” do you still love having teenagers? Well here is why in this weeks (drum roll please):

TOP 10 LIST WHY I LIKE HAVING TEENAGERS: Continue reading »

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Give Yourself Some Credit by Bill McLeod

 Posted by Bill on August 24, 2010  Balancing Work and Children, General, How to Communicate with Your Kids, Teenagers, The Craziness of Single Parenting  2 Responses »
Aug 242010
 

Over the past few years I have talked about my experiences with raising children as a single dad. People ask me all the time “how do you do it”, to which I respond “I just do it”. Really when you think about it, we all have some sort of experiences from our childhood that we can draw upon. Some of those memories are positive and some of those memories are negative.

Too often I talk to frustrated parents who say “My parents raised me to be what I am today, why can’t I do the same with my kids”. Or “My kids just don’t understand how good they have it”. Allow me to break the news to you folks, life wasn’t always a bundle of roses for you growing up, and I guarantee you that it wasn’t for your parents either. Kids are kids, God bless them. They are here to challenge us, test us, negotiate with us and generally push every button that they can. If you are going to try and compare how you were raised, with raising kids today, you need to wake up and smell reality.

When I was playing high school football we had three plays. Run left, run right and run up the middle. It was a pretty simple game plan. Now days the parenting game plan, just like football game plans, have become more complicated. Whether you are single parent like me, or part of a two parent household, give yourself some credit. Your kids will be just fine. As long as you listen to them, talk to them, are honest with them, and most of all, let them know each and every day that you love them, things will work out. Continue reading »

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