“Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome.”

I was recently asked to write an article about becoming a single parent due to addiction or abuse. I guess that sometimes I forget that so many of us become single parents, not because we chose to and not because our marriage just didn’t work out, but because of addictions and abuse. Since I fall into the first category, single due to an addiction, I thought that I would try and understand what it truly means to become a single parent due to abuse.

Although I have lived this life, I still wanted to make sure that I had my basis and facts covered. The first thing that I did was go to the Internets all knowing dictionary, Wikipedia. Each time I go there I have the benefit viewing a page or two of relative information. Not much, but enough to get me up to speed on what it is I am trying to understand. This week I looked up the word “Abuse”. OMG (That’s text for those of you who don’t have teenagers which means OH MY GOD) There was page, after page, after page of definitions. Child abuse, dating abuse, addiction abuse, abuse of power and the big one domestic abuse. The definition ofdomestic abuse is described below: Continue reading »

 

In the State of Colorado, the law states that in order to operate a motor vehicle, you must first attend a week long course from an accredited driving school, as well as complete a driver education course consisting of behind the wheel training. I think that most would agree that this law is a good idea.

Luckily for my kids, I have not always lived by that belief, at least not 100%. Now before you rush to the phone to call the police on me please allow me to explain. You see my belief that kids (under the right circumstances) should be allowed to learn how to drive at 14 was ingrained into me at a young age. Growing up in Butte, Montana as one of five kids, you have a tendency to do things a little different. My friends and I would drive ourselves to drivers education and park a few blocks away so that we didn’t get caught. Now it’s not that I took the car without my parents permission, they just threw me the keys and said “don’t get caught”. Now, when you grow up in a smaller town, you have a tendency to know most everyone. I am sure that on more than one occasion I passed a cop who knew that I wasn’t 16 yet, but really didn’t care. I’m sure that he learned to drive the exact same way. In fact, it’s a true story is that when my mom was growing up, she used to get driven to the ski resort outside of town by Sheila Penaluna all the time. Oh, by the way did I mention that Sheila was 12 when she drove them? Go figure. Seriously, growing up in Butte is a little different, as anyone from Montana will attest too. So when it came time to get my kids ready for drivers education I did what came naturally, I put them in the car at 14 and said “let’s drive”.

Now Jack was easy. I really didn’t worry about his ability too much. Maybe it was because he was a boy, or maybe it was because he had a small battery operated jeep as a kid. It could have been the fact that he was quite accomplished at racing cars on his video game. I don’t really know why, all that I did know was that teaching him to drive was really not much of a worry to me. The first day I took him over to the streets of an undeveloped commercial project  put him in the drivers seat and said lets go. He took to it like a southern boy to a NASCAR race. Now he is 17 and cruising all over the place in his 2000 GT Mustang, has had no accidents and only three tickets to show for it. I am so proud:) Continue reading »

 

I am reminded of a story about my nephew when he was a sophomore or junior in high school. He tried out for the varsity football team and felt like he was on the line to go either way; Junior Varsity or Varsity.

He wanted to play on the Varsity with his buddies and took the initiative to go make a point to his coach.

He basically told the coach that he as a top notch student and good enough to make a contribution to the Varsity squad. He went on to further remind the coach of his academic credentials and emphasized that point as being something the coach should consider in his decision on team roster. Continue reading »

 

Dear Sara;

It’s been almost three and a half years since you passed away, five years since we divorced and seven years since you left me to be a sole parent to Jack and Michaela. I figured that maybe now we should talk again. First let me update you on the kids.

Jack for the most part is doing great. He has friends that love him, a personality that you would cherish and and a stubbornness that you would respect. He is peaceful in his spirit, smart in his thinking but like you he occasionally plays the victim.  If God didn’t tell you he had the 30th highest score on his high school entrance exam, out of 425 kids. He gets that from you Sara. Unfortunately school seems to bore him and thus his GPA is around a 2.something (he gets that from me). He is 5’7 1/2 ” and is committed to joining the US Army Rangers when he gets out of high school. I really want him to attend college but he is adamant that his calling is with the Rangers. I know that it is not what either of us would have chosen for him but I will support him all the way. I am actually very proud of him because how many 16 year olds are there that know exactly what they want to do with their life.  I am so proud of him and you would be as well.

He is like you in so many ways Sara, but he is still so angry with you. I know that he won’t admit it to me but he misses you dearly. He needed a mom in his life to hold him when he felt sad, to comfort him when he was sick and to talk to him like only a mom can do. I worry about him because he has not had that female influence around since you died. I know that he is strong, but it’s one thing for me to know this, and totally another to understand it. Now that he is 16 I worry that I can’t help him anymore. I remind him daily of all the wonderful traits he inherited from you and how much you loved him, but I know that he tunes it out. Don’t worry though, I know deep down in my heart that he loves you with all his heart, and will one day make us both very proud. Continue reading »

 

Parental projection and college choices for your teens
Posted by PatrickTalley

So my son is a musician. He plays guitar and keyboards and I would classify his musical tastes from Jazz toward Blues. He would not classify his style to any genre and would ask why someone would do such a thing.

He has his sights set on Berklee music school in Boston (to me it is kind of the Juliard of contemporary music). he is “efforting” his way to get accepted by Berklee which has only a 30% acceptance rate. I am hopeful for him and we will see how it all plays out.

In doing some research on Berklee, I came across a youtube video from a Jazz music professor at the school who also happens to be a physics or math professor at Harvard. Continue reading »

 

I wanted to share with you today three tips form my new book “Kickin’ Butt as a Single Parent-99 Tips That Every Single Parent Must Have”. I believe that these tips will help empower you as a parent to succeed like never before. I would love to hear back from you what tips have helped you over the years. Have a great weekend my friends…

 Tip 1: Create a personal song list.

This tip was one best things I ever did for myself. I made a list of my all-time favorite songs; the songs that meant the most to me in my past. Once I did this, I had a CD created with each song, and then downloaded it on to my I-Pod. Continue reading »

 

Since it is Friday and the weekend is upon us, I thought that I would share with you a job description that a friend of mine recently shared with me. I have posted this blog once before but believe that it it is worth repeating. I hope that it brings a smile to your face and starts your weekend off on the right foot. It is hilarious and something we can all relate to.

POSITION:

Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma Continue reading »