“Never allow someone to be your priority, while you’re just their option”.

 Posted by on March 5, 2012  General, The Craziness of Single Parenting  3 Responses »
Mar 052012
 

I recently posted this saying on my Facebook page and to my surprise got quite the response from people.  It seems that at one time or another we have all been guilty of making someone our priority, when we were just their option.

I am sure that so many of you who are divorced feel this way, after all it is usually the one who has had enough of making everyone else their priority, without feeling appreciated themselves, that finally says enough and files for divorce. There are also those out there who are such constant caregivers that they always seem to find themselves making everyone else their priority, while they are just someone else’s option. Sound familiar to any of you? How about the person who divorces, and after the proper amount of time decides to date again, only to find themselves in need of attention and comfort so bad, that they once again “make someone their priority, while they only make them their option”.

What is it that drives so many people to this unhealthy and never ending cycle of frustration and pain? What is that blinds people to the obvious? Why can’t they see the forest through the trees or their nose in spite of their face? Why would you want to ever make someone else your priority when they only make you their option? Continue reading »

I Think That I Forgot Where My Kids Are!!!

 Posted by on February 27, 2012  General, How to Communicate with Your Kids, Raising Children as a Single Parent  No Responses »
Feb 272012
 

Have you ever heard the story about the little boy who answered the phone call?

One day, the phone rang, and the little boy answered.
“May I speak to your parents?”
“They’re busy.”
“Oh. Is anybody else there?”
“The police.”
“Can I speak to them?”
“They’re busy.”
“Oh. Is anybody else there?”
“The firemen.”
“Can I speak to them?”
“They’re busy.”

“So let me get this straight — your parents, the police, and the firemen are there, but they’re all busy? What are they doing?” Continue reading »

These Three Things Are Guaranteed To Change Your Life In 21 Days.

 Posted by on February 20, 2012  General  No Responses »
Feb 202012
 

 

So often I hear from people who want to make a change in their life but are either afraid, or unwilling to take the first step. What is it that keeps people from making a change? Is it that they fear the unknown? Is it that they believe that the sacrifice is greater than the reward? Or is just that they enjoy wallowing in their own unhappiness? No matter what the reason, or excuse that they use, they continue to live in a state of unhappiness, despair and self grief. Well today I am going to change that for you. Today I am going to give your three small things to do that I guarantee will change your life. Not one of these things will require you to lose weight, get up early, or make a drastic change in your life, but if done twice a day for the next 21 days they Will Change Your Life. Are you ready to take the challenge?

Here is the deal. Getting out of a bad relationship, working out, losing weight, dealing with your kids, getting a new job, changing your financial picture and finding happiness come from one place, and only one place YOUR MIND. You first must believe in it in order to achieve it. Below are three things that I challenge you today to say to yourself each morning when you get up, and each evening when you go to bed. I challenge you to not just recite them but to believe in them. Say them with conviction, say them with intention and say them as if they are the three most important things you will ever tell yourself. Once you do they will become part of your mind set, your being and your future. Continue reading »

How Do You Spell Love?

 Posted by on January 30, 2012  General  1 Response »
Jan 302012
 

Whenever I speak to groups, I always like to give them a little spelling test. It is really a very easy test, but one that everyone always seems to fail. My question is “How do you spell Love”? Most of the time everyone will proudly answer, L.O.V.E. Oh sure there are the occasional L.U.V.’s that come out, but in general L.O.V.E. is the answer. Each time I do this I have to correct the audience. The real way to spell Love is T.I.M.E. If you truly want to show your children, your family, your friends, yourself  and others in your life that you love them, then you need to spend time with them.

If there is one thing that we never seem to have enough of it’s time. We all seem to be busy running around, taking care of ourselves, our kids, our jobs and are so preoccupied with life, that we just don’t spend enough time with those that are closest to us. Every year around this time, what is the one thing that we all like to say? “Where has the time gone”? Someone once told me that if you want to live forever then get married, because when you are single times flies by and once you get married, time slows down to a crawl:) That person by the way is now divorced! Continue reading »

“With Everything That Has Happened To You, You Can Either Feel Sorry For Yourself, or Treat What Happened To You As A Gift”

 Posted by on December 12, 2011  How to Communicate with Your Kids, Raising Children as a Single Parent, Taking Time for Yourself  1 Response »
Dec 122011
 

 

“With everything that happened to you, you can either feel sorry for yourself or treat what happened as a gift. Everything is either an opportunity to grow or an obstacle to keep you from growing. You get to choose.” Wayne Dyer

Over the years I have reflected back on this quote on more than one occasion. I have even sometimes wondered if the author was a single parent. During the past nine years I have been through living with an addictive wife, a broken marriage, interventions, rehab. centers, a separation, a divorce, the death of my children’s mother, the death of their grandmother, the executor of two estates, an IRS audit (which I won), a failing business, the meltdown of my investments in the stock market, a depreciating home value, raising my children on my own 24/7, dealing with their grief, anxiety and fear issues while wondering when, or if, it will ever stop? So again I say to myself:

“With everything that happened to you, you can either feel sorry for yourself or treat what happened as a gift. Everything is either an opportunity to grow or an obstacle to keep you from growing. You get to choose.” Continue reading »

So You Think You Are A Single Parent Huh?

 Posted by on November 28, 2011  General, Raising Children as a Single Parent  3 Responses »
Nov 282011
 

I often get calls and emails from people, who are married, telling me that they are just like a single parent. Or in other words, that they are just like me. That they do all the household work, that they care for the kids, that they pay the bills, that they manage everyone’s schedules, that they feel as if the world is on their shoulders, that they are just like a single parent or again, that they are just like me. I always bite my tongue and listen, because although they believe to know what my life is like, in reality they are not, just like a single parent. You may be an enabler but you are NOT just like a single parent. You either are, or you are not, a single parent. You can not be half pregnant, you can not be half alive, and you definitely can not be a single parent, unless you are one.

I often say that I love being a single dad but in reality that is probably not true. I love being a dad, I love raising my children and I love being there for them but it sure would be easier if I had a little help every now and then. Not just help with making meals, or getting the kids places, but emotional help, the mental help, the financial help, and the support that I myself so often need. You see, for all of you that think you are just like a single parent, you still have someone coming home to the family at night. Someone who is there to listen to your problems, someone who can provide another perspective on how to best raise the kids, someone to deal with their issues, someone to help with the carpools, the sporting events and the stress of just being a parent.

We single parents, more time than not, don’t have this. Oh I am sure that in many cases the other non custodial parent does their part. After all I am speaking to both of you here, but has that always worked out for you the way you planned it? Married couples do have this. We single parents are left to go it alone 24/7 not just from 8 to 5 each day. Continue reading »

Are You Looking For Your Children?

 Posted by on November 14, 2011  General  No Responses »
Nov 142011
 

Have you ever heard the story about the little boy who answered the phone call?

One day, the phone rang, and the little boy answered.
“May I speak to your parents?”
“They’re busy.”
“Oh. Is anybody else there?”
“The police.”
“Can I speak to them?”
“They’re busy.”
“Oh. Is anybody else there?”
“The firemen.”
“Can I speak to them?”
“They’re busy.”

“So let me get this straight — your parents, the police, and the firemen are there, but they’re all busy? What are they doing?”

“Lookin for me.” Continue reading »

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