A Letter To Sara, My Deceased Ex. Wife, Once Again

 Posted by Bill on December 19, 2011  General, Uncategorized  No Responses »
Dec 192011
 

I originally posted this blog one year ago. I wanted to repost it again during  the Christmas week, as a reminder to all of you how blessed you are to have people in your life, no matter how difficult they may make your life. Families come in all shapes and sizes. Families come with happiness and saddness. Families come with challangees and success. No matter how difficuklt your family, your children or your ex spouse may be making your life, be thankful that you have them, because you never know when they will be gone. Merry Christmas to all of you…

Dear Sara;

It’s been almost four and a half years since you passed away, six years since we divorced and eight years since you left me to be a sole parent to Jack and Michaela. I figured that maybe now we should talk again. First let me update you on the kids. Continue reading »

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My Son Taught Me Something That He Wish’s He Hadn’t

 Posted by Bill on October 3, 2011  General, Getting Your New Life In Order, How to Communicate with Your Kids, Raising Children as a Single Parent  1 Response »
Oct 032011
 

Over the years I have learned so much from my children. I have learned how to smile when I was feeling sad, I have learned how to be patient when I was feeling anxious, I have learned how to juggle when both hands were tied behind my back, I have learned how to do three loads of laundry before most people are even awake and I have learned what unconditional love is. Of all the lessons my children have taught me, I think the best one that I have ever learned was taught to me by my son Jack late last August. 

One day Jack and I were having one of our Dad versus seventeen year old son difference of opinion conversations. Ok it was an argument about what I expected of Jack and what he expected of me. As I threatened once again to take a way his cell phone, he responded by saying to me “Go ahead Dad, your hollow promises don’t mean anything to me.” As I started to get more upset with him I stopped in my tracks and thought hold it, he thinks that my threats are hollow huh? 

Now in my own defense, I am not the type of Dad who says one thing and does the other, it’s just that I don’t always follow through with my punishments until the end, 100% of the time. I would like to think that I follow through at least 90% of the time, but my daughter would put that number somewhere around 70% and obviously based upon Jack’s comments, he would put it somewhere around 10% of the time. Continue reading »

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When It Comes To Parenting Does Practice Make Perfect?

 Posted by Bill on September 19, 2011  General, How to Communicate with Your Kids, Raising Children as a Single Parent, Teenagers, The Craziness of Single Parenting  No Responses »
Sep 192011
 
They say that practice makes perfect. I have decided that whoever said that was obviously not a parent. I have practiced at being a good parent ever since day one, and I continue to practice at it each and every day. Last week I thought that I had finally figured it out, and then my 15 year old teenage daughter reminded me that I have a long way to go. Funny how teenagers seem to think that they know everything. I am starting to think that parenting is allot like the game of golf. No matter how much you practice, you will never get it totally right. Oh you may score well every once in awhile, but just when you start to think that  you’ve got  it figured out, you slice one it into the woods and end up taking a penalty stroke. Over the years I have had my share of penalty strokes with my kids.
The problem with being a good parent, is that your kids are constantly changing on you. Once you get to the toddler stage figured out here comes the young child stage, then the pre-teen stage and finally the dreaded teenager stage. Looking back on the early stages, I now realize that the degree of difficulty changes with each and every  stage my kids go through. It must be Gods way of reminding you that practice doesn’t always make you perfect, but it will make you better. 
I am blessed to have my parents as great examples. Since they raised  five kids, they had allot of practice. Looking back on it now I realized that they weren’t perfect, but at least they kept practicing. Actually with five kids, maybe they should have stopped practicing having children after the first two:) I am the oldest by the way! One thing that I do know is that if you as a parent keep practicing, your children will be the beneficiary of it. I pray every night for those children who don’t have parents who practice. Who have parents that give up. They are the children that will never understand how to become a good parent themselves. They are the ones whose children will turn to the dark side, when if their parents had just practiced more, they would have all seen the light. Continue reading »
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My Reasons For Loving Having Teenagers…

 Posted by Bill on August 14, 2011  General, Teenagers  No Responses »
Aug 142011
 

I can’t tell you the number of people who when I tell them that I have teenagers say something like “Wow that must be tough” or “Good luck, you will need it”. I don’t care, I love having teenagers. I really do. Granted I am decades away from my teen years, I can still remember what my life was like as a teenager for me. I can remember when I was honest with my parents and I can remember when I was not. I can remember all of the things that I put my parents through, granted some of the things I didn’t think were that big of a deal they sure disagreed with me on . Believe me growing up in a family of five, where you came home when the street lights came on, gave us  allot of time to put our parents through hell. I know that my kids, or at least one of them, will do the same to me but… I still love having teenagers.

So why do you love having teenagers you ask? Why after all that you put your parents through, why after all of the warnings others are giving you, why knowing full well that the “apple doesn’t fall far from the tree” do you still love having teenagers? Well here is why in this weeks (drum roll please):

TOP 10 LIST WHY I LIKE HAVING TEENAGERS: Continue reading »

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Are You Looking For Your Kids?

 Posted by Bill on June 27, 2011  Balancing Work and Children, General, How to Communicate with Your Kids, Raising Children as a Single Parent  No Responses »
Jun 272011
 

Have you ever heard the story about the little boy who answered the phone call?

One day, the phone rang, and the little boy answered.

“May I speak to your parents?”
“They’re busy.”

“Oh. Is anybody else there?”
“The police.” Continue reading »

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So You Think You Are A Single Parent Huh?

 Posted by Bill on June 13, 2011  General  3 Responses »
Jun 132011
 

I often get calls and emails from people, who are married, telling me that they are just like a single parent. Or in other words, that they are just like me. That they do all the household work, that they care for the kids, that they pay the bills, that they manage everyone’s schedules, that they feel as if the world is on their shoulders, that they are just like a single parent or again, that they are just like me. I always bite my tongue and listen, because although they believe to know what my life is like, in reality they are not, just like a single parent. You may be an enabler but you are NOT just like a single parent. You either are, or you are not, a single parent. You can not be half pregnant, you can not be half alive, and you definitely can not be a single parent, unless you are one.

I often say that I love being a single dad but in reality that is probably not true. I love being a dad, I love raising my children and I love being there for them but it sure would be easier if I had a little help every now and then. Not just help with making meals, or getting the kids places, but emotional help, the mental help, the financial help, and the support that I myself so often need. You see, for all of you that think you are just like a single parent, you still have someone coming home to the family at night. Someone who is there to listen to your problems, someone who can provide another perspective on how to best raise the kids, someone to deal with their issues, someone to help with the carpools, the sporting events and the stress of just being a parent.

We single parents, more time than not, don’t have this. Oh I am sure that in many cases the other non custodial parent does their part. After all I am speaking to both of you here, but has that always worked out for you the way you planned it? Married couples do have this. We single parents are left to go it alone 24/7 not just from 8 to 5 each day. Continue reading »

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I Am Not Sure How To Feel About This..

 Posted by Bill on May 22, 2011  Balancing Work and Children, Raising Children as a Single Parent, Teenagers, Uncategorized  1 Response »
May 222011
 

I know that each one of my children is a gift from God. I also know that as a parent, it is my job to build a foundation that one day will allow them to spread their wings and soar, to fly without fear, to fly with confidence and to fly in the direction that their heart takes them. I have always supported my kids in whatever sport, event, hobby and challenge they have faced. I love them unconditionally and without judgment. I love them for their uniqueness and their differences. I love them for who they are and what they are not. I love them for being them.

Have you ever noticed how people tend to describe their children, as well as others, by mentioning only a few of their many amazing qualities? They say things like; Tommy is such a great athlete, or Suzy is such a good student, or Mary is an amazing dancer, or Joey is a wonderful musician. I’m not immune form this. People always seem to describe my daughter Michaela as, beautiful with amazing blue eyes and a good soccer player. I agree with both of these descriptions but I also describe her as a protector of the underdog, a determined young lady, and one who has a heart of gold. People always seem to describe my son Jack as handsome, witty and smart. Again I agree with all of these assessments, but I also describe him as independent, headstrong and a young man who can do anything, and I mean anything, that he sets his mind too.

Ever since Jack was young I have had this gut feeling that he was going to truly do “something special” in this world. Since he is witty and charming, stubborn and independent and very intelligent (he had the 30th highest score out of 400 kids on his high school entrance exam) I always thought that he might become a doctor, a lawyer, or a successful entrepreneur. I really didn’t care which career he chose, although with the cost of med school being what it is,I was hoping that option three would be the last of his choices. All that I really ever wanted for Jack was for him to reach his full potential, and do that “special thing” that I have always believed in my gut he was destined to do. Continue reading »

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