In my nearly 16 years of parenting, I have made some grave mistakes. I have screamed and thrown temper tantrums probably more than my own children, at times. I think back to my 7 years of parenting alone. I was a scared, young teenager and had no idea how to take care of a baby. “Someone should still be taking care of me,” I often thought. But that wasn’t the case and I was left with no choice, but to learn to cook, clean, prepare diaper bags for the daycare, sing lullabies, and so on. I was tired, financially broken, emotionally ruined, and felt I couldn’t go on. I took out my frustration on my children.
When my son was only 4 years old, I was sick of going through the single parenting journey—sick of no one understanding how little money I had, how I could never get ahead, sick of not knowing where my boyfriend was, and having no help. My little son came to me and was quite whiney one afternoon. Before I knew it, I had slapped him across his little face and blood came spewing from his nose. I had busted my four-year-old’s nose. What had I done?! I was a terrible parent.
I hated myself for all my inadequacies, for my failure as a mom, for the fact that my children didn’t have the life they deserved. And now…..this! Continue reading »
