The Eleven Things You Will Not Learn In School

 Posted by Bill on May 7, 2010  General, How to Communicate with Your Kids, Raising Children as a Single Parent, Teenagers, Uncategorized  No Responses »
May 072010
 

A few years ago I was emailed this list of the eleven things you will not learn in school. I was told that it was presented by Bill Gates at a High School commencment speech. Since then I have been informed that it was actually an an excerpt from the book “Dumbing Down our Kids” by educator Charles Sykes. Regardless of who said it, I was so impressed with it that I shared it with  both Jack and Michaela. OK I have shared it with them on more than one occasion :) I now want to share the list with you, because as a parent I believe that our kids have come to expect more from the world than the world is actually willing to give. I want to make sure that my kids understand that there never has been, and never will be a substitute for hard work. I hope that you enjoy it as much as I have.

RULE 1
     Life  is not fair – get used to it.

     RULE 2
     The  world won’t care about your self-esteem. The world
     will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you  feel
     good about yourself. Continue reading »

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What came first, the Parent or the Hypocrit?

 Posted by Bill on March 26, 2010  General, How to Communicate with Your Kids, The Craziness of Single Parenting  No Responses »
Mar 262010
 

This morning I was scheduled to do my monthly guest interview on The Doug Stephan Good Day Show at 5:06 am. I always love being on Doug’s show for two reasons. One because his show is heard on 400 radio stations nationwide and two, because I never know what Doug is going to ask me. That can be an interesting situation when you are up at 5:06 a.m. At 5:00 a.m. this morning Doug’s people called my people (that would be me since Michaela was still sleeping) and asked if we could move the interview to 7:06 a.m.? Who am I to argue with the host of a show heard by over 3 million people each month. Sure I said, but I will be driving the kids to school so we will need to do it on my cell phone. By the way my cell phone is tied into the speakers on my car. Fine by us they said..

Well right as Jack was getting out of the car for the bus the call came in and the interview began. Michaela is an inspiring journalist so she always loves to hear what questions hosts like to ask of thier guest. Today Doug decided to get my opinion on recent stories in the news dealing with both abortion and marijuana. Buckle up your seat belt Michaela this could get interesting. For times sake I will leave the abortion story for another blog, but having your 13 year old hear co-hosts going off on their beliefs about abortion is interesting, especially as I am sitting outside her Catholic school.

The other story that I was asked to comment on was about a father in California who stated he would much rather have his son smoke pot at home, than do it outside with others. “How would you as a single parent deal with that Bill” Doug inquired. Hmmm I thought for a minute and then I answered with… Does the dad think that if he allows his kid to smoke pot at home they will never do it outside of the home? Does he think that if he allows his kids to drink at home they will never do it outside of the home? Does he believe that if he allows his kids to steal money from his wallet, they will never steal from the local convenience store? What about if the kid steals his car at 2:00 a.m., takes it for a joy ride and wrecks it, will they never take someone elses car? Why does by doing it at home makes it all OK? Continue reading »

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I Love Having Teenagers

 Posted by Bill on March 5, 2010  Balancing Work and Children, General, Getting Your New Life In Order, How to Communicate with Your Kids, Raising Children as a Single Parent, Teenagers, The Craziness of Single Parenting, Uncategorized  1 Response »
Mar 052010
 

I can’t tell you the number of people, who when I tell them that I have teenagers, say things like “Wow that must be tough” or “Good luck you will need it”. I don’t care, I love having teenagers. I really do. I can still remember what my life was like as a teenager. I can remember when I was honest with my parents and when I was not. I can remember all of the things that I put my parents through. Believe me growing up in a family of five, where you came home when the street light came on, we had allot of time to put our parents through hell. I know that my kids, or at least one of them,  will do the same to me but… I still love having teenagers.

So why you ask? Why after all that you put your parents through? Why after all of the warnings others are giving you? Why knowing full well that the “apple doesn’t fall far from the tree” do you still love having teenagers? Well here is why in this weeks (drum roll please):

TOP 10 LIST WHY I LIKE HAVING TEENAGERS: Continue reading »

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My Son and The Cab Ride

 Posted by Bill on February 26, 2010  General, How to Communicate with Your Kids, Raising Children as a Single Parent, The Craziness of Single Parenting  No Responses »
Feb 262010
 

How can two kids from the same gene pool be so different? I know that my brothers and I were all from the same gene pool, but were we really this different? Kids never cease to amaze me, confuse me  and enlighten me, usually all at the same time.

My kids and I have a routine each morning. They wake themselves up, shower, get ready, make breakfast, make their lunch, collect their back packs  and are prepared to be out the door by 7:00 am. At least that is how the routine is suppose to play out. For the most part it usually works this way. That is as long as Jack chooses to participate in the routine.

Michaela has never had a problem with our routine. I am not sure if it is because she is a girl, or that she loves to please but whatever the reason I am happy that she is on top of it. Her beloved brother Jack is just the opposite. When Michaela is finishing breakfast and stuffing books in her backpack Jack is hitting the snooze button  for the 14th time. I really never knew that you could hit your snooze button so many times. I figured that after the first 4 snoozes the alarm just says “To hell with it, I’m done” and turns itself off. Obviously Jacks alarm does not work this way. Continue reading »

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Washington Needs a Co-Parenting Class

 Posted by Bill on February 11, 2010  Dealing with Divorce and Your Ex, General, Getting Your New Life In Order, How to Communicate with Your Kids, Organizing, Uncategorized  No Responses »
Feb 112010
 

I have never used this blog to make a political statement and I am not about to do so today. I personally do not care if you are a Republican a Democrat or and Independent. I don’t care if you are a card carrying member of the Green Party, Brown Party, Yellow Party or Chuckie Cheese Party.

I have always believed that this blog should be an opportunity for you the reader to take a peek inside the  life of  a single dad. I believe that is what I have always done and will continue to do so. But last night, as I sat at home with the kids watching the news, I couldn’t help to think that Washington needs a co-parenting class. Here we have our role models our leaders and in essence the parents of our country acting like two bickering parents. Do they not get it? It’s not about who wins, or who you love the most or who you want to live with it’s about us, the children of this country. The ones who have to live with your decisions and bickering each and every day. Do any of you think about us the children first. OK I know that each of you parents believe that your way is the right way, but is it really? We as the children of this country need you to be there for us. To set an example. To consciously co-parent us effectively. To first put our needs in mind not your own individual self serving motives. We will accept the fact that you will never see eye to eye on everything. After all that  is why you have separated. We will accept the fact that you are hurt and angry about your loses but why must you take it out on us? Why can’t you just give a little and meet half way? That is all we the children of this country want. We have lived with you in the past when you screamed and shouted and it hurt our feelings. It made us sad that you spent so much time bickering about yourselves that you didn’t spend time with us. We as a family survived those days of differences and we will survive them again in the future, but please don’t forget about us the children. You have been  and hopefully will continue to be, our role models. We look up to you. We believed in you. Please don’t allow your anger about your past and present continue to influence what we think of you. We will grow up one day and make different decisions based upon what you have put us through, but we don’t ever want to lose our respect for you.

Please Washington don’t forget that you have the responsibility to co-parent for us effectively. That is all we really ask. Communicate with us, put our feelings first and remember that you are modeling for us each day. We know that you will make mistakes and we are ok with that,  just as long as you don’t forget us in the process. Continue reading »

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Practice Practice Practice

 Posted by Bill on January 22, 2010  Balancing Work and Children, General, Getting Your New Life In Order, How to Communicate with Your Kids, Raising Children as a Single Parent, Taking Time for Yourself, Uncategorized  No Responses »
Jan 222010
 

They say that practice makes perfect. Who ever said that was obviously not a parent. I have practiced at being a good parent ever since day one. I continue to practice at it each and every day. Last week I thought that I had finally figured it out and then my 13 year old teenage daughter reminded me that I have a long way to go. I am starting to think parenting is allot like golf. You will never win at it totally. Oh you may score well every once in awhile, but just when you start to think you’ve got  it figured out,  you slice it into the woods and have to take a penalty stroke. I have had my share of penalty strokes with the kids.

The problem with being a good parent is that your kids are constantly changing. Once you get the toddler stage down here comes the young child stage, then the pre-teen stage and finally the dreaded teenager stage. Looking back on the early stages, I now realize that the degree of difficulty changes with each stage. It must be Gods way of reminding you that practice doesn’t make perfect, but it will make you better. I am blessed to have my parents as examples. With five kids they had allot of practice. Looking back on it now I realized that they weren’t perfect, but at least they kept practicing. Actually with five kids maybe they should have stopped practicing having  us after two:) I am the oldest by the way! One thing that I know is that if you as a parent keep practicing, your children will be the beneficiary of it. I pray every night for those children who don’t have parents who practice. They are the ones that will never understand how to become a good parent themselves. They are the ones who will turn to the dark side when if their parents had just practiced more, they would have all seen the light.

You see when it comes to being a good parent I have learned that practice doesn’t make perfect. We are all going to make mistakes no matter how hard we practice at it. The trick is to accept that we aren’t perfect and continue to practice. Because just like golf, every once in awhile you have that great round that reminds you “I can do this”. I must do it! I will keep practicing. My children need me too….

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#1 Rule To Parenting

 Posted by Patrick on January 18, 2010  General  No Responses »
Jan 182010
 

So I witnessed something yesterday that caused me to pull up a chapter from the mothballs—-I witnessed a divorced couple WITH kids go through a pretty horrible and certainly dysfunctional altercation.

It reminded me of the NUMBER 1 RULE FOR DIVORCED DADS (and moms). #1 RULE FOR DIVORCED DADS: Never utter a discouraging word about your children’s mom

If you can do this, then you’re a better man than me. Look – if I could take back every audible sigh, every roll of the eyes, every negatively inflected statement about my childrens’ mom I have ever made in front of the kids, I’d gladly do so. I made it a point, and I still do, to not bash their mom in front of the kids. Continue reading »

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