I Think I’m Going To Be Single For Awhile…

 Posted by Bill on January 31, 2011  Balancing Work and Children, Dealing with Divorce and Your Ex, General, Getting Your New Life In Order, Taking Time for Yourself, Uncategorized  1 Response »
Jan 312011
 

It seems that I am always getting emails from people asking me what the secret to happiness is as a single parent?  So many of these people are just plain unhappy being single as, a single parent. They seem to believe that they need to be with someone in order to validate their life. Then I get the emails from the married people telling me how unhappy they are, and again, if they were just single they would be happier. To this group I say “Be careful what you wish for”. The only place that you are going to find true happiness is first and foremost, within yourself. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side.

So why is it that everyone who is married thinks that I have the perfect life as a full time single dad. My friend Mike likes to tell me that I have it all figured out. I have branded myself at www.singleparentstown.com as a single dad, and in order to continue my mission, I must stay single. I remind him that some day I hope to find my soul mate again and live happily ever after, but he doesn’t believe me. He says  that he just likes to live vicariously through me. I then have to remind him that I have no vicarious to live through…

I recently noticed on Facebook that I must be single, married or complicated. Why are those the only options I have? Why can’t I be single and uncomplicated? What about those who want to be single and married? Or those that are married and want to be single? Oops, I better not go there… What about those who are complicated and want to be uncomplicated? Facebook really needs to give us all a few more options if we truly want to let our friends know who we are. Continue reading »

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Driving Your Car Through The Rear View Mirror

 Posted by Bill on January 17, 2011  General, Getting Your New Life In Order  No Responses »
Jan 172011
 

When I was much younger I seemed to have a bit of a problem avoiding the other cars. I have scratched, dented, totaled and smashed more cars than a demolition derby driver. My dad would always say that if I was in Patton’s Tank Brigade we would have lost the war. It is only through the grace of God that I am still here today. The amazing thing to me is that I wrecked all of those cars while looking forward. OK, maybe once in awhile I wasn’t totally focused on looking forward but I can honestly promise you at no time was I ever driving the car through my  rear view mirror.

It always bothers me when I talk to people that seem to be living life through their rear view mirror. You know the type. The person who likes to say: “If only” or “Why not me”? They are living their life through their rear view mirror. Continue reading »

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The Chinese New Year of…….YOU

 Posted by Bill on January 10, 2011  General, Getting Your New Life In Order, Taking Time for Yourself, The Craziness of Single Parenting, Uncategorized  1 Response »
Jan 102011
 

Recently my friend Davis Ehrler wrote a great blog Dare To Be YOU! here at www.singleparentstown.com We exchanged  some fun emails back and forth about the blog, and during one of those emails the Chinese New Year came up. It made me start to think about why the Chinese name each year after an animal. What I found out was that the use of animal symbols in the Chinese Zodiac dates back to the 6thCentury. According to legend, the Jade Emperor, invited all the animals in the kingdom to celebrate the New Year, at the end of the first lunar month.

For unknown reasons, only twelve animals came (Rat, Ox, Tiger, Rabbit “In some versions it’s Cat,” Dragon, Snake, Horse, Goat, Monkey, Rooster, Dog, and Pig”) . The Jade emperor was so happy to see them that he decided to name a year after each of them. The animal would have an influence on everyone born in that year and would bestow its main characteristics on them.

These twelve animals formed the Chinese Zodiac, based on the lunar calendar, by order of their arrival, and are listed above. Continue reading »

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The Shortest, Most Honest Blog You Will Ever Read…

 Posted by Bill on January 3, 2011  General, Getting Your New Life In Order, How to Communicate with Your Kids  No Responses »
Jan 032011
 

Ok my weekend was spent taking care of kids, issues at home and getting caught up on three major projects that I have due this week. Because of this I didn’t get a blog done that I believed would be of value to any of you. So here is my short and honest blog for you…

“Since silent gratitude isn’t much use to anyone”   I want to let each and everyone one of you know, how grateful I am that you read my blog each week and inspire me. That is my gift of honesty to you today.

That’s it until next week……. Continue reading »

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How Do You Spell Love?

 Posted by Bill on December 27, 2010  Balancing Work and Children, Dealing with Divorce and Your Ex, General, Getting Your New Life In Order, How to Communicate with Your Kids, Raising Children as a Single Parent, Taking Time for Yourself, Teenagers, The Craziness of Single Parenting, Uncategorized  2 Responses »
Dec 272010
 

Whenever I speak to groups, I always like to give them a little spelling test. It is really a very easy test, but one that everyone always seems to fail. My question is “How do you spell Love”? Most of the time everyone will proudly answer, L.O.V.E. Oh sure there are the occasional L.U.V.’s that come out, but in general L.O.V.E. is the answer. Each time I do this I have to correct the audience. The real way to spell L.O.V.E. is T.I.M.E. If you truly want to show your children, your family, your friends, yourself  and others in your life that you love them, then you need to spend time with them.

If there is one thing that we never seem to have enough of it’s time. We all seem to be busy running around, taking care of ourselves, our kids, our jobs and are so preoccupied with life, that we just don’t spend enough time with those that are closest to us. Every year around this time, what is the one thing that we all like to say? “Where has the time gone”? Someone once told me that if you want to live forever then get married, because when you are single times flies by and once you get married, time slows down to a crawl:) That person by the way is now divorced! Continue reading »

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My Wish…

 Posted by Bill on December 13, 2010  Balancing Work and Children, Dealing with Divorce and Your Ex, General, Getting Your New Life In Order, Organizing, Raising Children as a Single Parent  1 Response »
Dec 132010
 

My blog last week  A Letter To Sara, My Deceased Ex. Wife apparently hit a chord with so many of you. I want to thank all of you who called me, emailed me and shared the blog with your friends. The problem one has when they open up as I did, is then following it up with a new blog that has as much feeling in it.

As I contemplated this weekend what to write so many thoughts went through my head. What can I share that will have the same meaning? How am I going to follow up my last blog with anything even close to the emotion and feelings that I did last week? Then I heard “The Song”. “The Song” that has always struck a chord in my heart for my kids. “The Song” that I pray Jack and Michaela will never forget the words too. “The Song” that I have actually copied the lyrics too and intend to hand to both of my kids when they leave home and go out into the world on their own. I hope that you enjoy it and maybe, just maybe, it will strike a chord in your heart as well this holiday season.

Continue reading »

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A Letter To Sara, My Deceased Ex. Wife

 Posted by Bill on December 6, 2010  Balancing Work and Children, Dealing with Divorce and Your Ex, General, Getting Your New Life In Order, How to Communicate with Your Kids, Raising Children as a Single Parent, Taking Time for Yourself, Teenagers, The Craziness of Single Parenting  15 Responses »
Dec 062010
 

Dear Sara;

It’s been almost three and a half years since you passed away, five years since we divorced and seven years since you left me to be a sole parent to Jack and Michaela. I figured that maybe now we should talk again. First let me update you on the kids.

Jack for the most part is doing great. He has friends that love him, a personality that you would cherish and and a stubbornness that you would respect. He is peaceful in his spirit, smart in his thinking but like you he occasionally plays the victim.  If God didn’t tell you he had the 30th highest score on his high school entrance exam, out of 425 kids. He gets that from you Sara. Unfortunately school seems to bore him and thus his GPA is around a 2.something (he gets that from me). He is 5’7 1/2 ” and is committed to joining the US Army Rangers when he gets out of high school. I really want him to attend college but he is adamant that his calling is with the Rangers. I know that it is not what either of us would have chosen for him but I will support him all the way. I am actually very proud of him because how many 16 year olds are there that know exactly what they want to do with their life.  I am so proud of him and you would be as well.

He is like you in so many ways Sara, but he is still so angry with you. I know that he won’t admit it to me but he misses you dearly. He needed a mom in his life to hold him when he felt sad, to comfort him when he was sick and to talk to him like only a mom can do. I worry about him because he has not had that female influence around since you died. I know that he is strong, but it’s one thing for me to know this, and totally another to understand it. Now that he is 16 I worry that I can’t help him anymore. I remind him daily of all the wonderful traits he inherited from you and how much you loved him, but I know that he tunes it out. Don’t worry though, I know deep down in my heart that he loves you with all his heart, and will one day make us both very proud. Continue reading »

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