Washington Needs a Co-Parenting Class

 Posted by Bill on February 11, 2010  Dealing with Divorce and Your Ex, General, Getting Your New Life In Order, How to Communicate with Your Kids, Organizing, Uncategorized  No Responses »
Feb 112010
 

I have never used this blog to make a political statement and I am not about to do so today. I personally do not care if you are a Republican a Democrat or and Independent. I don’t care if you are a card carrying member of the Green Party, Brown Party, Yellow Party or Chuckie Cheese Party.

I have always believed that this blog should be an opportunity for you the reader to take a peek inside the  life of  a single dad. I believe that is what I have always done and will continue to do so. But last night, as I sat at home with the kids watching the news, I couldn’t help to think that Washington needs a co-parenting class. Here we have our role models our leaders and in essence the parents of our country acting like two bickering parents. Do they not get it? It’s not about who wins, or who you love the most or who you want to live with it’s about us, the children of this country. The ones who have to live with your decisions and bickering each and every day. Do any of you think about us the children first. OK I know that each of you parents believe that your way is the right way, but is it really? We as the children of this country need you to be there for us. To set an example. To consciously co-parent us effectively. To first put our needs in mind not your own individual self serving motives. We will accept the fact that you will never see eye to eye on everything. After all that  is why you have separated. We will accept the fact that you are hurt and angry about your loses but why must you take it out on us? Why can’t you just give a little and meet half way? That is all we the children of this country want. We have lived with you in the past when you screamed and shouted and it hurt our feelings. It made us sad that you spent so much time bickering about yourselves that you didn’t spend time with us. We as a family survived those days of differences and we will survive them again in the future, but please don’t forget about us the children. You have been  and hopefully will continue to be, our role models. We look up to you. We believed in you. Please don’t allow your anger about your past and present continue to influence what we think of you. We will grow up one day and make different decisions based upon what you have put us through, but we don’t ever want to lose our respect for you.

Please Washington don’t forget that you have the responsibility to co-parent for us effectively. That is all we really ask. Communicate with us, put our feelings first and remember that you are modeling for us each day. We know that you will make mistakes and we are ok with that,  just as long as you don’t forget us in the process. Continue reading »

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I Have Been Up Since 4:00 am

 Posted by Bill on January 29, 2010  Balancing Work and Children, General, Raising Children as a Single Parent  No Responses »
Jan 292010
 

As I sit here and write my weekly blog I have a cup of coffee in one hand, a Pepsi in the other and one eye open. I have been up since 4:00 am this morning and barely alive. I recently heard a country song with the lyric “You can sleep when you die” . In that case I want to die. There is good news and bad news as to why I have been up since 4:00 am. The bad news is that my kids have been sick this week.  The good news is that my kids have been sick this week. If I had my choice I would always have the kids get sick at the same time. This week my choice has been granted. I have had my days of one being sick one week and the other the next. All that this does is extend out the whole process. Personally I wish that they would both cough, sneeze and throw up at the exact same time. But since they are not Siamese twins this is not a reality. I feel bad for them, but better to get it over with than extend out the midnight calls to the infirmary.

As a single parent I am left to my own accord to take care of my kids. It is not easy but it has to be done. As I sat in my living room early this morning I reflected on how many other parents must be going through the exact same thing that I was? They say that the greatest job you could ever have is that of being a parent. I am not sure that I subscribed to that way of thinking at 4:00 am this morning. Nobody ever said that parenting would be easy but single parenting…..well it is what it is.

I know that by later tonight my kids will be feeling better and I will be able to get some sleep. Tomorrow will be a new day and we will all be refreshed, healthy and ready to go again. So for all of you parents who have yet to do your 4:00 am infirmary shift, I offer you two bits of advice. One, pray that all of your kids get sick on the same day and two, never forget “You can sleep when you die”. Continue reading »

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Practice Practice Practice

 Posted by Bill on January 22, 2010  Balancing Work and Children, General, Getting Your New Life In Order, How to Communicate with Your Kids, Raising Children as a Single Parent, Taking Time for Yourself, Uncategorized  No Responses »
Jan 222010
 

They say that practice makes perfect. Who ever said that was obviously not a parent. I have practiced at being a good parent ever since day one. I continue to practice at it each and every day. Last week I thought that I had finally figured it out and then my 13 year old teenage daughter reminded me that I have a long way to go. I am starting to think parenting is allot like golf. You will never win at it totally. Oh you may score well every once in awhile, but just when you start to think you’ve got  it figured out,  you slice it into the woods and have to take a penalty stroke. I have had my share of penalty strokes with the kids.

The problem with being a good parent is that your kids are constantly changing. Once you get the toddler stage down here comes the young child stage, then the pre-teen stage and finally the dreaded teenager stage. Looking back on the early stages, I now realize that the degree of difficulty changes with each stage. It must be Gods way of reminding you that practice doesn’t make perfect, but it will make you better. I am blessed to have my parents as examples. With five kids they had allot of practice. Looking back on it now I realized that they weren’t perfect, but at least they kept practicing. Actually with five kids maybe they should have stopped practicing having  us after two:) I am the oldest by the way! One thing that I know is that if you as a parent keep practicing, your children will be the beneficiary of it. I pray every night for those children who don’t have parents who practice. They are the ones that will never understand how to become a good parent themselves. They are the ones who will turn to the dark side when if their parents had just practiced more, they would have all seen the light.

You see when it comes to being a good parent I have learned that practice doesn’t make perfect. We are all going to make mistakes no matter how hard we practice at it. The trick is to accept that we aren’t perfect and continue to practice. Because just like golf, every once in awhile you have that great round that reminds you “I can do this”. I must do it! I will keep practicing. My children need me too….

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#1 Rule To Parenting

 Posted by Patrick on January 18, 2010  General  No Responses »
Jan 182010
 

So I witnessed something yesterday that caused me to pull up a chapter from the mothballs—-I witnessed a divorced couple WITH kids go through a pretty horrible and certainly dysfunctional altercation.

It reminded me of the NUMBER 1 RULE FOR DIVORCED DADS (and moms). #1 RULE FOR DIVORCED DADS: Never utter a discouraging word about your children’s mom

If you can do this, then you’re a better man than me. Look – if I could take back every audible sigh, every roll of the eyes, every negatively inflected statement about my childrens’ mom I have ever made in front of the kids, I’d gladly do so. I made it a point, and I still do, to not bash their mom in front of the kids. Continue reading »

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Parental Projection Will Muck Your Kiddos Up

 Posted by Patrick on November 16, 2009  General  No Responses »
Nov 162009
 
Blog Image
Tao of Parenting
How a divorced dad parents Continue reading »
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I am new to this…be gentle…

 Posted by Patrick on November 9, 2009  Raising Children as a Single Parent  No Responses »
Nov 092009
 

THE TAO OF PARENTING 

Howdy, I’m taking a moment to introduce myself. 

My name is Patrick Talley and I am a dad of two and I’m from  a big ol’ goofy family down in Texas. 

I’m the happy dad to 2 great kiddos who are now teen-agers.  As teens, they both think it pretty ridiculous that I have written a book on parenting and that I have now been asked to start blogging about parenting. 

Upon completion of my first parenting book “DIVORCED DADS’ RULES FOR RAISING RELATIVELY STABLE KIDS”, my teen-age daughter asked me, “So what makes you think you have a right to put a book out on parenting?” 

I quickly responded with, “Well, to begin with the simple fact that you feel comfortable enough to challenge me on the subject is one argument ‘for’ me.  And hey look around you.  Take a look at your peers.  Comparatively you and your brother are not that screwed up!” 

 Issue resolved….I guess, she just went back to her dinner and later she and her brother continued to tease me about all of this.

 

I have had many trials and tribulations as a dad and have executed with excellence on many parenting occasions.  Continue reading »

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