Being A Dad Was The Worst Decision Of My Life…

 Posted by Bill on July 31, 2011  Balancing Work and Children, General, Raising Children as a Single Parent, The Craziness of Single Parenting  No Responses »
Jul 312011
 

Seriously being a DAD was the worst decision of my life. How could I be so dumb? How could I have not seen it coming? How did I ever get myself into this? Being a DAD was the worst decision of my life! There were so many other paths I could have chosen. There were so many other decisions I could have made and should have made. What was I thinking? Obviously my attitude about it failed me, obviously my decision making was skewed, why was I in denial when I had always seemed to of made good decisions in the past? Being a DAD was the worst decision of my life.

Prior to being a DAD my life was great. My business was booming, my relationships were phenomenal, my attitude was authentic, my outlook was positive, my life was darn near perfect, and then it happened, I became a DAD. What made it worst is that I have become a DAD more than once in my life. You would think that after becoming a DAD once I would have learned, but no, not me, I had to become a DAD again. What was I thinking? I knew that I hated being a DAD but I did it again. As I look back on my life I wish more than anything else I had never ever become a DAD. Being a DAD was the worst thing that I ever did.

Now before you all start worrying about my children let me explain to you what being a DAD is all about. Here you go… First being a DAD has nothing to do with being a parent, a father or a hero to your kids. Being a DAD is a state of mind that each and every one of us has fallen into at one time or another in our lives. It is a state of mind that will affect you like nothing before. It is a state of mind that will cause you pain and anger. It is a state of mind that will bring you unhappiness for the rest of your life if you stay in it. Each and eveytime I have become a DAD (and yes I have done it more than once) I have suffered the consequences. The good news is I am going to let you know what it is, so that you don’t make the same mistakes, so that you can live a happy life, a life filled with enlightenment, success and hope. Are you ready for the secret? Continue reading »

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“With Everything That Happened To You, You Can Either Feel Sorry For Yourself or Treat What Happened As A Gift”

 Posted by Bill on April 17, 2011  General  No Responses »
Apr 172011
 

“With everything that happened to you, you can either feel sorry for yourself or treat what happened as a gift. Everything is either an opportunity to grow or an obstacle to keep you from growing. You get to choose.” Wayne Dyer

Over the years I have reflected back on this quote on more than one occasion. I have even sometimes wondered if the author was a single parent. During the the past eight years I have been through living with an addictive wife, a broken marriage, interventions, rehab. centers, a separation, a divorce, the death of my children’s mother, the death of their grandmother, the executor of two estates, an IRS audit (which I won), a failing business, the meltdown of my investments in the stock market, a depreciating home value, raising my children on my own 24/7, dealing with their grief, anxiety and fear issues while wondering when, or if, it will ever stop? So again I say to myself:

“With everything that happened to you, you can either feel sorry for yourself or treat what happened as a gift. Everything is either an opportunity to grow or an obstacle to keep you from growing. You get to choose.” Continue reading »

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“You Had Me At Hello”

 Posted by Bill on March 28, 2011  Balancing Work and Children, Dealing with Divorce and Your Ex, General, Getting Your New Life In Order, How to Communicate with Your Kids, Organizing, Raising Children as a Single Parent, Taking Time for Yourself, Teenagers  No Responses »
Mar 282011
 

In the 1986 movie “Jerry Maguire” there is a famous line where Jerry (Tom Cruise) flies back home to meet Dorothy ( Renee Zellweger) to tell her that he loves her and wants her in his life, and she tells him “You had me at hello”. What made that line so famous was that although the couple had been arguing for sometime, those five words “You had me at hello” said it all.

Sometimes in life when we say less, we are actually saying more!

When I was growing up,  my friends and I would pass each other in the hall and nod our heads. It was our way of acknowledging each other. Nodding our heads was our way of letting the other person know that they meant something to us. Nodding our heads said it all. Continue reading »

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Everything, And Everyone, Have An Expiration Date!

 Posted by Bill on March 7, 2011  General  2 Responses »
Mar 072011
 

This morning I attended a funeral for one of the employees of our mortgage company, Mike McPhee. I only knew Mike for a short period of time, but during that time Mike always impressed me. He was hard working, organized, positive, helpful and always had a smile on his face. He was built well, in great shape and lived a clean life. Maybe that is why it was so difficult to understand how someone like Mike, could leave work on Friday, go skiing on the weekend, and be dead six days later from a heart attack. It just didn’t make sense…

While sitting at the funeral this morning, I started to think about all those who have gone before me. Not once did God call me up in advance and say “Hey Bill, just so you know, someone close to you is going to die tonight at 11:52 p.m. just thought that I would give you a heads up”. God doesn’t work that way. When my grandparents died I had no prior knowledge of the exact date or time. When my little sister Mary Ann passed away in her sleep, no one knew the night before that she wasn’t going to wake up the next morning. When my ex wife Sara died, I guarantee you that the kids and I never saw it coming. I have friends who have lost loved ones to cancer and knew that the end was near, but never once got that call from God with the time and date that it was going to happen.

Someone once told me that everyone, and everything, have an expiration date on them. Food, cars, business partnerships, friendships, relationships and us. It made me think about how when people attend funerals, they always wish that they could have known what was about to happen. They wish that they knew the expiration date of the person, or that God would have sent them a text with what was about to happen. They wish that they could have said those things that they never quite got around to saying.  It also made me think about those closest to me that I take for granted. I assume that I will see them tomorrow, or next week, or next month. Mikes family assumed that the day he went skiing, my parents did the night that they put Mary Ann in bed, and my kids did the last time they saw their mom. Continue reading »

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I Think I’m Going To Be Single For Awhile…

 Posted by Bill on January 31, 2011  Balancing Work and Children, Dealing with Divorce and Your Ex, General, Getting Your New Life In Order, Taking Time for Yourself, Uncategorized  1 Response »
Jan 312011
 

It seems that I am always getting emails from people asking me what the secret to happiness is as a single parent?  So many of these people are just plain unhappy being single as, a single parent. They seem to believe that they need to be with someone in order to validate their life. Then I get the emails from the married people telling me how unhappy they are, and again, if they were just single they would be happier. To this group I say “Be careful what you wish for”. The only place that you are going to find true happiness is first and foremost, within yourself. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side.

So why is it that everyone who is married thinks that I have the perfect life as a full time single dad. My friend Mike likes to tell me that I have it all figured out. I have branded myself at www.singleparentstown.com as a single dad, and in order to continue my mission, I must stay single. I remind him that some day I hope to find my soul mate again and live happily ever after, but he doesn’t believe me. He says  that he just likes to live vicariously through me. I then have to remind him that I have no vicarious to live through…

I recently noticed on Facebook that I must be single, married or complicated. Why are those the only options I have? Why can’t I be single and uncomplicated? What about those who want to be single and married? Or those that are married and want to be single? Oops, I better not go there… What about those who are complicated and want to be uncomplicated? Facebook really needs to give us all a few more options if we truly want to let our friends know who we are. Continue reading »

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The Shortest, Most Honest Blog You Will Ever Read…

 Posted by Bill on January 3, 2011  General, Getting Your New Life In Order, How to Communicate with Your Kids  No Responses »
Jan 032011
 

Ok my weekend was spent taking care of kids, issues at home and getting caught up on three major projects that I have due this week. Because of this I didn’t get a blog done that I believed would be of value to any of you. So here is my short and honest blog for you…

“Since silent gratitude isn’t much use to anyone”   I want to let each and everyone one of you know, how grateful I am that you read my blog each week and inspire me. That is my gift of honesty to you today.

That’s it until next week……. Continue reading »

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Are You Looking For Your Kids?

 Posted by Bill on October 25, 2010  Balancing Work and Children, Dealing with Divorce and Your Ex, General, Getting Your New Life In Order, How to Communicate with Your Kids  1 Response »
Oct 252010
 

Have you ever heard the story about the little boy who answered the phone call?

One day, the phone rang, and the little boy answered.
“May I speak to your parents?”
“They’re busy.”
“Oh. Is anybody else there?”
“The police.”
“Can I speak to them?”
“They’re busy.”
“Oh. Is anybody else there?”
“The firemen.”
“Can I speak to them?”
“They’re busy.”

“So let me get this straight — your parents, the police, and the firemen are there, but they’re all busy? What are they doing?”

“Lookin for me.” Continue reading »

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