Whenever I speak to groups, I always like to give them a little spelling test. It is really a very easy test, but one that everyone always seems to fail. My question is “How do you spell Love”? Most of the time everyone will proudly answer, L.O.V.E. Oh sure there are the occasional L.U.V.’s that come out, but in general L.O.V.E. is the answer. Each time I do this I have to correct the audience. The real way to spell Love is T.I.M.E. If you truly want to show your children, your family, your friends, yourself  and others in your life that you love them, then you need to spend time with them.

If there is one thing that we never seem to have enough of it’s time. We all seem to be busy running around, taking care of ourselves, our kids, our jobs and are so preoccupied with life, that we just don’t spend enough time with those that are closest to us. Every year around this time, what is the one thing that we all like to say? “Where has the time gone”? Someone once told me that if you want to live forever then get married, because when you are single times flies by and once you get married, time slows down to a crawl:) That person by the way is now divorced! Continue reading »

 

As I sat at home yesterday and watched the Denver Broncos, and Tim Tebow, pull out another miraculous victory I couldn’t help but to think how much the Broncos and being a single parent have in common. Now all you Pittsburgh fans may not agree with me here but let me explain.

As the Broncos began their season, no one really gave them much of a chance at being successful. They didn’t have the talent, they didn’t have the skills, and they didn’t have a chance. Well as the season began to unfold the so called experts seemed to be right as the Broncos started off with a record of 1-4. But then something very interesting happened. They made a change in how they approached the season. They named a relatively inexperienced young Tim Tebow as their new starting quarterback. The so called experts jumped all over him. He didn’t have any experience in the NFL, he didn’t have the skills to succeed at this level, and he was nothing more than a good guy, with good intentions, in a bad situation. So much for the experts…

As the season continued Tim Tebow and the Broncos began to win, they began to believe and they began to succeed. The so called experts said it was just luck and that there was no way it would continue, they were sure to implode in no time, and for a few games they were correct. The Broncos lost three games in a row and everyone said “See I told you so.” Then something happened that no one thought was possible, they got into the playoffs. Again the so called experts, as well as the odds makers said, “There is no way they will beat Pittsburg” they are lucky to be where they are, they are huge underdogs. Well anyone who watched the game knows now that the Broncos did win the game, and Tebow performed like an All Pro quarterback. Continue reading »

 

I originally posted this blog one year ago. I wanted to repost it again during  the Christmas week, as a reminder to all of you how blessed you are to have people in your life, no matter how difficult they may make your life. Families come in all shapes and sizes. Families come with happiness and saddness. Families come with challangees and success. No matter how difficuklt your family, your children or your ex spouse may be making your life, be thankful that you have them, because you never know when they will be gone. Merry Christmas to all of you…

Dear Sara;

It’s been almost four and a half years since you passed away, six years since we divorced and eight years since you left me to be a sole parent to Jack and Michaela. I figured that maybe now we should talk again. First let me update you on the kids. Continue reading »

 

I often get calls and emails from people, who are married, telling me that they are just like a single parent. Or in other words, that they are just like me. That they do all the household work, that they care for the kids, that they pay the bills, that they manage everyone’s schedules, that they feel as if the world is on their shoulders, that they are just like a single parent or again, that they are just like me. I always bite my tongue and listen, because although they believe to know what my life is like, in reality they are not, just like a single parent. You may be an enabler but you are NOT just like a single parent. You either are, or you are not, a single parent. You can not be half pregnant, you can not be half alive, and you definitely can not be a single parent, unless you are one.

I often say that I love being a single dad but in reality that is probably not true. I love being a dad, I love raising my children and I love being there for them but it sure would be easier if I had a little help every now and then. Not just help with making meals, or getting the kids places, but emotional help, the mental help, the financial help, and the support that I myself so often need. You see, for all of you that think you are just like a single parent, you still have someone coming home to the family at night. Someone who is there to listen to your problems, someone who can provide another perspective on how to best raise the kids, someone to deal with their issues, someone to help with the carpools, the sporting events and the stress of just being a parent.

We single parents, more time than not, don’t have this. Oh I am sure that in many cases the other non custodial parent does their part. After all I am speaking to both of you here, but has that always worked out for you the way you planned it? Married couples do have this. We single parents are left to go it alone 24/7 not just from 8 to 5 each day. Continue reading »

 

I have decided to change my kid’s names from Jack and Michaela to Dow and NASDAQ. Why you ask? It’s because I believe that raising them is like investing in the stock market. As long as I put something into them each month, I am bound to get a good return on my investment. At least that’s what the experts tell me. Recently I have found that my success with the kids has been similar to my recent returns in the stock market. Dismal! I have scratched my head, reviewed my parental investing strategy and made some adjustments. But still I am not seeing the returns that I had hoped for. I keep telling myself that’s its not how I start but how I finish. This would make sense if I was a marathon runner, but as a single dad I am a sprinter. I sprint from school event to sporting event, from grocery store to doctor’s appointments, from homework assignments to dinners. I want to see a return NOW!

My financial planner tells me to have patience. Follow the plan, and that all things are difficult before they are easy. Easy for him to say, he’s getting paid monthly on what I invest with him. I want to see a return NOW!

I know that I am not the only single parent that wants a return on his investment NOW. Why does this have to be so difficult? You give, you love, you encourage, you discipline and you lead, but still I am not seeing the results. I want a return NOW! Continue reading »

 

I am blessed to have here at www.singleparentstown.com the greatest single parent bloggers in the world. Michele, Jennifer, Davis, Michael and Roxy are amazing single parents who each and every week share their stories with you in such a way, that it makes you feel like they speaking to you one on one. They have all been through so much as a parent. Many of them, me included, have lost a spouse to death or addiction. Some have experienced homelessness, abandonment and poverty. Some have remarried and some have re-divorced. Some have found God to be their ultimate source of strength and some have found their experiences to be their source of life. The number one thing that I love about each of them is that they speak from experience, they speak from their hearts and they share easy and concise stories and tips that make a difference in so many people’s lives.

What also impresses me about our bloggers is that the stories and tips they share are things that more times than not, we already know. I thought that today I would share with you some insight about things that I am sure you, already know. My hope is that by reminding you what you already know, that you will be able to put to use these things so that not only your life, but the lives of your family, will be the better because of it. After reading my thoughts below, I would be honored if you would add to the list by commenting. That way all who read this blog will be better because of what you have brought to their attention about what they already know.

Continue reading »

 

Over the years I have learned so much from my children. I have learned how to smile when I was feeling sad, I have learned how to be patient when I was feeling anxious, I have learned how to juggle when both hands were tied behind my back, I have learned how to do three loads of laundry before most people are even awake and I have learned what unconditional love is. Of all the lessons my children have taught me, I think the best one that I have ever learned was taught to me by my son Jack late last August. 

One day Jack and I were having one of our Dad versus seventeen year old son difference of opinion conversations. Ok it was an argument about what I expected of Jack and what he expected of me. As I threatened once again to take a way his cell phone, he responded by saying to me “Go ahead Dad, your hollow promises don’t mean anything to me.” As I started to get more upset with him I stopped in my tracks and thought hold it, he thinks that my threats are hollow huh? 

Now in my own defense, I am not the type of Dad who says one thing and does the other, it’s just that I don’t always follow through with my punishments until the end, 100% of the time. I would like to think that I follow through at least 90% of the time, but my daughter would put that number somewhere around 70% and obviously based upon Jack’s comments, he would put it somewhere around 10% of the time. Continue reading »