A Dad’s Point-of-View, by Bruce Sallan – Marriage IS Complicated

 Posted by Bruce on May 21, 2010  General  No Responses »
May 212010
 

My wife took me to see Nancy Meyers’ new movie, “It’s Complicated,” which stars Meryl Streep, Alec Baldwin, and Steve Martin. She had seen it a day or two before and wanted to see it with me saying, “It would be good for us.” Honestly, I do tend to like what is typically labeled “chick flicks” but don’t like director Nancy Meyers’ perfect world, perfect rich characters, perfect looking people, dressed and coifed just perfectly. But, for the sake of marital harmony, I agreed.

I didn’t expect what followed. Throughout the movie, my wife was jabbing me in the ribs whenever she wanted me to notice a point being made that she felt related to me or us. So, I left with bruised ribs, which ached even more toward the end of the movie during the one, truly hilarious scene. I really enjoyed laughing that hard, in spite of the pained ribs, which I’ve totally exaggerated for sympathy anyway.

Without a doubt, the best thing about the movie is that comic scene near the end. “It’s Complicated” is also that rare movie title that really works and has so many other relevant meanings related to life, marriage, raising kids, and even a facebook status. Continue reading »

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A Dad’s Point-of-View, by Bruce Sallan – Our Teens and Their Raging Angst

 Posted by Bruce on May 18, 2010  Teenagers  No Responses »
May 182010
 

Teen energy, angst, and anger manifest itself in so many ways. Every day it seems that we read about some teen that has done something unusually self-destructive, and occasionally destructive to others. Columbine was an extreme example of this. Many so-called “normal” teens tend to use or abuse the ol’ standbys of drinking, drugs, and sex to handle these emotions and changes. For my own 16-year-old, his reaction has been mostly anger. The irony is that I’ve found this to be both good and bad.

How hormones affect the average teen have been studied and documented, but no one really knows definitively their effect since each teen reacts in different ways. The same is true for most women’s experience with menopause, as my wife has suffered horribly while for her mother it was a blip on the screen of her mid-life. Will has done a little of the aforementioned “standbys” stated above, to some degree. But he’s done nothing extraordinary, over-the-top, or that different from all teens with the possible exception of his recent angry moods.

When I say moods, I mean moods. Let’s try a few descriptive words: sullen, quiet, loud, belligerent, intransigent, stubborn, willful, explosive. His impulsive behavior got him in a mess of trouble when he posted a mean-spirited comment on Facebook. The backlash, as it instantaneously circulated among all his friends and peers, was stunning. It nearly de-railed Will’s wonderful eight-month relationship with his girlfriend, as all her friends got involved, taking sides, and giving his minor comment a true life of its own. Continue reading »

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A Dad’s Point-of-View, by Bruce Sallan – A Rock ‘N’ Roll Dream Come True!

 Posted by Bruce on May 6, 2010  General, Teenagers  No Responses »
May 062010
 

A Rock ‘N’ Roll Dream Come True, by Bruce Sallan

On May 3, 2010, my son’s dreams came true! He went to see his idol Chris Cornell at a benefit acoustic concert at The Roxy, on Sunset Blvd, in Hollywood, California. With his girlfriend Logan, they pushed their way to the front of the crowd. Cornell was playing acoustic guitar with only a cello as back up.

At a pause between songs, Arnie shouts out, “Hey, Chris, I have a question for you” and gets his attention, to which Chris asks, “Yes, what is it?” Arnie then shouts, “It’s been my lifelong dream to jam on one song with you.” Cornell says, “Well, what do you play and do you have a song in mind?” Arnie replies, “I’ve been playing guitar for 6 years and I want to play Fell On Black Days” at which point the crowd is shouting to Chris, “Let him, let him!”

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A Dad’s Point-of-View, by Bruce Sallan – My 13-Year-OId “Know-It-All”

 Posted by Bruce on May 4, 2010  General  No Responses »
May 042010
 

My 13-Year-Old “Know-It-All” by Bruce Sallan

There’s nothing new dealing with teens that think they know it all, but recently I’ve found that my 13-year-old is making me crazy with his attitude. I’ve got another teen at home – his 16-year-old brother, so I do have some experience living with a teen, but it doesn’t get any easier!

David and I occasionally go on short ski trips together, without his step-mom or older brother, and that is when David’s attitude tends to fully blossom. This “attitude” manifests itself in his regularly contradicting everything I say, questioning why he has to do something I ask him to do, and generally being constantly contrary.

Of course, being the mature dad and parenting writer that I am, my reaction is completely mature and appropriate. I yell, stamp my feet, and otherwise act like a five-year-old, which naturally only aggravates the situation. David, in response, acts just like a 13-year-old and pouts, muttering to himself about what an idiot I am. The result is a stalemate in which we’re both unhappy. Continue reading »

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A Dad’s Point-of-View by Bruce Sallan – It’s a Tech World, After All

 Posted by Bruce on April 15, 2010  General  No Responses »
Apr 152010
 

I love technology. I hate technology. I get so frustrated with technology. All of the above. That’s my generation and definitely me. My friend Marty is a tech wizard, while my wife is still using computers primarily for e-mail. I’m somewhat in the middle with my knowledge and depth of tech use and dependence, though my boys laugh at my attempts to learn anything new. But, it’s hard to resist all we hear about what every new tech gadget has to offer, especially for us men (a.k.a. boys and their toys).

When I get a new tech device, like a digital camera for instance, I am very excited by the purchase and I take it home with pride and eagerness. I carefully place it on my desk where it usually sits for a week or so until I muster the courage to open the box. Then, I take out the various parts of the device, and ask for some help to lift out the user manual. On viewing this lengthy document, in 42 different languages, I sit down discouraged, and place all the pieces and the manual on top of the just opened box, where it will sit for another week or two. A strong drink will finally give me the courage to start the learning process.

What inevitably follows is that I get stuck somewhere in the process and disgustingly pack all the parts back in the box with the full expectation to return it to CostCo, where I always buy such tech stuff, as they have the most liberal and no-questions-asked return policy. Usually, some sanity or maybe pride returns and I either figure it out or, embarrassingly, call the help line where I’m put on hold for four days after pressing 257 buttons on the self-help menu, until I finally get to speak to someone with a heavy accent that I don’t understand, in some country in a distant time zone. Continue reading »

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