Practice Practice Practice

 Posted by Bill on January 22, 2010  Balancing Work and Children, General, Getting Your New Life In Order, How to Communicate with Your Kids, Raising Children as a Single Parent, Taking Time for Yourself, Uncategorized  No Responses »
Jan 222010
 

They say that practice makes perfect. Who ever said that was obviously not a parent. I have practiced at being a good parent ever since day one. I continue to practice at it each and every day. Last week I thought that I had finally figured it out and then my 13 year old teenage daughter reminded me that I have a long way to go. I am starting to think parenting is allot like golf. You will never win at it totally. Oh you may score well every once in awhile, but just when you start to think you’ve got  it figured out,  you slice it into the woods and have to take a penalty stroke. I have had my share of penalty strokes with the kids.

The problem with being a good parent is that your kids are constantly changing. Once you get the toddler stage down here comes the young child stage, then the pre-teen stage and finally the dreaded teenager stage. Looking back on the early stages, I now realize that the degree of difficulty changes with each stage. It must be Gods way of reminding you that practice doesn’t make perfect, but it will make you better. I am blessed to have my parents as examples. With five kids they had allot of practice. Looking back on it now I realized that they weren’t perfect, but at least they kept practicing. Actually with five kids maybe they should have stopped practicing having  us after two:) I am the oldest by the way! One thing that I know is that if you as a parent keep practicing, your children will be the beneficiary of it. I pray every night for those children who don’t have parents who practice. They are the ones that will never understand how to become a good parent themselves. They are the ones who will turn to the dark side when if their parents had just practiced more, they would have all seen the light.

You see when it comes to being a good parent I have learned that practice doesn’t make perfect. We are all going to make mistakes no matter how hard we practice at it. The trick is to accept that we aren’t perfect and continue to practice. Because just like golf, every once in awhile you have that great round that reminds you “I can do this”. I must do it! I will keep practicing. My children need me too….

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Why Couldn’t I Have Had Twins?

 Posted by Bill on January 15, 2010  General, Raising Children as a Single Parent  No Responses »
Jan 152010
 

I have always said that I am blessed to have my children. Raising them on my own is definitely tough, but with challenges come great rewards. I hope that I can  keep the two of them around long enough to realize this. My son is now 15 and I am so proud of him. He and I have a bond that although not expressed daily, is there in our hearts. I have watched him mature more and more each day. His sense of humor is second to none.  The other night I told him that “Yes Jack we are going to eat together as a family” to which he replied “Dad I promise that if you let me eat downstairs in front of the TV I won’t do drugs, get  anyone pregnant or go to jail” I think that he must be listening to my radio show archives at www.singledadstown.com again.

My daughter who has been the apple of my eye since the day she was born has always been a joy. She has a heart of gold and a smile that stretches from here to eternity. Never really a problem, just a good kid. That was until she turned 13 last August. I have heard stories of how girls transform at this age but hearing stories and experiencing it are two separate things. The other night Jack asked if we could just “put her down” There is that quick wit and humor again. What is it that turns little angels into devils at 13? If I have learned one thing as a single parent it is that patience is a virtue. I have become so patient with these kids but  my patience is beginning to wain with my daughter. If I tell her that her hair looks great she asks why I didn’t like it before? If I tell her that I love her new outfit she gives me three reasons why it could be better. I bite my tongue and Jack just laughs. His day will come when he has a family, but right now he is finding joy in watching me deal with this.

I have decided that it would be great if we could all just have twins or triplets or more! Dogs can do it, cats can do it why not us? I know that it would be twice the work but at least these little moments of maturity and puberty would come all at once. Think about it. One birthday a year not two or three or four. One trip to the doctor. One drive to school. One day shopping. One parent teacher conference. It would be like a sale at the store. Buy one get one free:)As much as that seems appealing to me I know that it is not reality. Continue reading »

So You Think You Are A Single Parent Huh?

 Posted by Bill on January 8, 2010  General, Raising Children as a Single Parent  No Responses »
Jan 082010
 

I often have people who are married tell me that they are just like a single parent. They do all the work, they care for the kids, they feel as if the world is on their shoulders, they are just like a single parent. I always bite my tongue and listen, but in reality you are not just like a single parent. You may be an enabler but you are NOT just like single parent. You either are, or you are not a single parent. You can not be half pregnant, you can not be half alive and you definitely can not be a single parent unless you are one.

I often say that I love being a single dad but in reality that is probably not true. I love being a dad, I love raising my children and I love being there for them but it sure would be easier if I had some to help once in awhile. Not just help with making meals, or getting the kids places but emotional help, mental help, financial help, support help. You see all of you that think you are just like a single parent still have someone coming home at night. Someone who is there to listen to your problems. Someone who can provide another perspective on how to raise the kids or deal with the issues.

We single parents more time than not, don’t have this. Oh I am sure that the other non custodial parent does their part. After all I am speaking to both of you here but does that always work out for you the way you dreamed it would? Married couples do have this. We single parents are left to go it alone 24/7 not just from 8 to 5 each day. Continue reading »

The 40” Jedi Speaks – Be A Rhino, Step Up And BE Great!

 Posted by Keith on December 20, 2009  Balancing Work and Children, How to Communicate with Your Kids, Raising Children as a Single Parent  No Responses »
Dec 202009
 

I’ve been divorced for about 14 months now.  There have been some good times and some tough ones.  That’s to be expected.  There are more of both to come and I am prepared for that.

That’s not just divorce…that’s just life.  It ebbs and flows.

Brennan1209Having joint custody of my son Brennan has been an amazing experience.   I know I am a better Dad now than I was when I was married.  My attention is more focused, I get to spend more time with him and I believe my intention has shifted to one that is much more appreciative and grateful for the time I do get to have with him. Continue reading »

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The Ultimate Bonding Moment (again)

 Posted by Bill on December 4, 2009  Raising Children as a Single Parent  No Responses »
Dec 042009
 

As a single parent I am always juggling a million things at once. In fact as I sit here today, ready to write my weekly blog, I find myself behind on two projects, late for a meeting and still needing to pick up Jack early from school today. So what am I to do? What anyone would do, re post a blog that I did over a year ago :) I hope that you don’t mind but some days are just crazy and I am doing this all on my own. Enjoy the blog and have a great weekend everyone!

Webster’s Dictionary defines the word bonding as:

bond·ing Continue reading »

I am new to this…be gentle…

 Posted by Patrick on November 9, 2009  Raising Children as a Single Parent  No Responses »
Nov 092009
 

THE TAO OF PARENTING 

Howdy, I’m taking a moment to introduce myself. 

My name is Patrick Talley and I am a dad of two and I’m from  a big ol’ goofy family down in Texas. 

I’m the happy dad to 2 great kiddos who are now teen-agers.  As teens, they both think it pretty ridiculous that I have written a book on parenting and that I have now been asked to start blogging about parenting. 

Upon completion of my first parenting book “DIVORCED DADS’ RULES FOR RAISING RELATIVELY STABLE KIDS”, my teen-age daughter asked me, “So what makes you think you have a right to put a book out on parenting?” 

I quickly responded with, “Well, to begin with the simple fact that you feel comfortable enough to challenge me on the subject is one argument ‘for’ me.  And hey look around you.  Take a look at your peers.  Comparatively you and your brother are not that screwed up!” 

 Issue resolved….I guess, she just went back to her dinner and later she and her brother continued to tease me about all of this.

 

I have had many trials and tribulations as a dad and have executed with excellence on many parenting occasions.  Continue reading »

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Being A Committed Dad

 Posted by Bill on October 2, 2009  Raising Children as a Single Parent  No Responses »
Oct 022009
 

Through all of the ups and downs that the kids and I have experienced I have always strived to be a committed dad. It hasn’t been easy but I have tried. There just never seems to be enough time in the day, let alone the week or the month. I learned a long time ago that if I was going to do this on my own I better be organized in order to prove my commitment. It is funny how each that day I arrive at work my voice mail reminds me that “You have ten messages”. It’s funny how when I pull them up, eight of the ten are from me. They always start off something like this: ”Don’t forget to…” or “You need to…” or “Did I remember to…” and so on and so on. I believe that being a committed parent is a frame of mind. Being committed to your kids requires you to be connected to them. To communicate with, to talk to and to understand what it is that I need to do in order to stay connected. Recently I read an article from National Center For Fathering about staying connected with your children. I wanted to share the action points with you because I believe so much in our need to stay connected with our children.

ACTION POINTS for Committed Parents:

- Even in difficult and frustrating situations, do all you can to maintain your poise. You will be a powerful model for your kids regarding how to handle adversity. Continue reading »

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