Anyone who has ever read one of my blogs, knows how important I believe routine is in raising healthy children.  While I believe a stable routine is good for children, it can sometimes be unhealthy for parents.  Parents, especially single parents often find themselves stuck in a monotonous and tedious routine completely revolving around their children.  Don’t get me wrong,  monotony is not a word I word ever use to describe parenting, but our routine can become just that.

We wake up each morning and then get the kids up.  We get the kids ready for school and ourselves ready for work.  We make breakfast.  We get the kids off to school and then it’s off to work for us.  We pick the kids up from school after our work day is done.  We help with homework, cook dinner, get the kids bathed and ready for bed, tuck them in and then it’s off to bed for us.  If we are blessed, we wake up the next morning and do it all over again.  Sounds like an adrenaline junkies dream, doesn’t it?? Continue reading »

 

As a writer, I am privileged to share my thoughts and ideas in a variety of venues.  One of the things I have resolved to do through the years is to write about those things that will encourage and challenge and to avoid those topics that simply spark debate for the sake of debating.  Hence, it is very unlikely that you will ever see me write about politics and the like. 

However…..there are some times when I must write or I will simply burst!  This is one of those times.  There are a handful of topics for which I am immensely passionate.  This is one.  In fact, the more I think about it – the more passionate I become – abortion and the church.

If you are an avid Single Parents Town reader, you will quickly discover that I am a Christian writer — for which I make no apologies.  My convictions and opinions stem from those Christian views.  I love the church immensely and love its people.  So for all intents and purposes, this particular article is for those people — the church.  Continue reading »

 

The deepest and most intimate relationship you will ever have is the relationship you have with yourself. Respect it, appreciate it, nurture it and protect it. Fall in love with yourself over and over again – there will be days when it is truly the only thing you can count on. Love YOU!  Michele DeVille

This past week I had a conversation with someone I am very close to and through her tears she shared with me that she was overwhelmed, stuck and so unhappy with her life. She compared herself to everyone else and questioned why others always seemed to have it better. She could not understand why life seemed so unfair and was frustrated that her friends had everything that she so badly wanted but could never seem to find. My friend talked of the next trip she was planning, the clothes she must buy and disclosed her wish to live in another country feeling she did not belong here. I tried to be compassionate and empathetic but I could not help but feel sorry for her knowing that happiness would continue to elude her if she did not learn to first love herself.

As humans it is easy to get caught up in the search for happiness but it is a search that often ends in misery because we search for it outside of ourselves. We come to depend on everything and everyone around us to make us happy and in the process we forget to love and appreciate the person that matters the most…..ourself! Failure to love oneself becomes a huge barrier to finding happiness and don’t forget that if we struggle to love ourselves it makes it far more difficult to truly love others. Continue reading »

 

So often I hear the media, the so called experts and even the occasional parent tell me that their children are at a disadvantage because they are being raised by a single parent. Their children don’t get the attention of both parents and because of this, their children will have a tougher time finding their way, feeling loved or having the same opportunities as children in dual parent households. Every Time I hear that I get mad, because I believe that once you start to use being raised by a single parent as a crutch, you give your children, and yourself a reason to make excuses.

In my opinion children need three things in life. They need to feel safe, they need to be listened to, and they need to feel loved. If we as parents do these three things, our children will be free to find their passion, set their goals and exceed all of our expectations.

I want to share with you a story of someone who was raised by a single parent, and against all the odds, has exceeded his expectations in the NFL. Continue reading »

 

I pull into the gym parking lot and it is packed. Of course it is, it’s Monday. People are trying to undo what they did over the weekend. And I think to myself “it’s gonna be crowded!!” I walk into the weight room and the only people there are the trianers and their clients. Where are all those people? I will tell you, they are either on a piece of cardio equipment(eliptical, treadmill etc…) or in a class. It’s always the same people week after week doing the same thing….cardio, cardio, cardio. “Cardio Queens”. Do you ever notice these people never change, they always look the same?(diet hold a big part in this, but that will be in another blog) I wonder what keeps them coming back and why do they do it? Which brings me to my next topic of cardio vs. weight training.

We all associate cardio and ‘classes’ with weight loss. Cardio improves your aerobic capacity and cardiovascular conditioning. Cardio wil also help to reduce over all body fat (with the proper nutrtion). Remember, you can’t out train bad nutrition.  The thinking, “If I have this chocolate cake I will run it off tomorrow”, doesn’t work, so get that out of your head.  Back to cardio…Cardio works the heart and lungs which increases the blood and oxygen flow, therefore you need more fuel. One cardio session, at a moderate to fast pace will burn about 10-12 calories a minute. good right? But the important thing to know is when you stop, so does your body.   You are only burning calories while exercising. The thing that cardio or classes (depending on which one you take) is missing is they don’t give the attention needed to each muscle.

Weight training uses the muscular system which will strengthens lean tissue(muscles),ligaments, and bones. This results in muscle tone, increased strength, and stronger bones and ligaments.  Muscles have shape, fat does not.   So while you burn fat during cardio, you are not shaping your body. Weight training will burn about 8-10 calories a minute, slightly less than cardio, but,  for every 3lbs of muscle you build, you burn an extra 120 calories doing absolutely nothing. Let me repeat that, you will burn extra calories doing NOTHING.   And if you do giant sets, super sets. or keep the time between sets short you can get some aerobic work in your weight training routine.  A very important thing to know about building lean tissue is, muscles take more energy to sustain so a person with more muscle will burn more calories doing any exercise and while sedentary. Muscle = Fat burning. One more thought on muscle….when you build muscle your weight may not change or may even go up. Muscle takes up less space and is more dense than fat. Go by how you look and how your clothes are fitting instead of the numbers on a scale.  So although you will be losing fat and gaining muscle, you may weigh more but look and feel so much better. Continue reading »

 

After I publish my Friday blog each week, I often wonder how I will come up with something to write about the next week.  At some point, it seems the ideas will run out.  What am I thinking??  This is parenting we are talking about, and the one thing parents never run out of is ideas.  Each week I know at least one of my children will say or do something that will give me plenty of topics to write about.

This week it was my youngest son on one of his adventurous sleep walking episodes.  Technically, it probably isn’t sleep walking.  He just has a habit of waking in the middle of the night, still half asleep and wandering through the house with little clue as to what he is doing.  Ask him about it the next morning and he can’t tell you what he said or did.  We have some pretty good stories from it, though.  Like the time I heard someone walking around about 2 in the morning, only to find it was my son who decided he needed to use the bathroom.  Problem was, in his sleep induced state he mistook a house plant for the toilet and proceeded to water the plant.  Again, he had no recollection of it the next morning. Continue reading »

 

Is your life like a carpet or granite counter top?

I know you are probably thinking….What?

Funny analogy I know but keep reading and it will make perfect sense.
One day I was having a challenge and I realized it was a challenge that I think was cleaned up but here it is again. I think it is cleaned up but it shows up again. Just like a darn carpet stain. We spend hundreds of dollars to hire someone to get those pesky stains out of our beautiful carpet so our home looks beautiful again thinking….yay…that stain is gone forever!

Wrong!

I know for me it is often stains I don’t even recall causing but they are there staring up at me as I walk through the family room or up the stairs. I know for me I ask, “what are these stains and where the heck did they come from?” Continue reading »