Who Are These Voices In My Head, And Why Can’t They All Just Get Along?

 Posted by Bill on April 10, 2011  Balancing Work and Children, Dealing with Divorce and Your Ex, General, Getting Your New Life In Order, How to Communicate with Your Kids, The Craziness of Single Parenting  1 Response »
Apr 102011
 

Have you ever felt as if you had other voices running around in your head telling you what to do? Have you ever felt as if those other voices in your head are constantly reminding you of what you do wrong, more than reminding you of what you do right? Do you ever wonder why all of those other voices in your head are in essence mini images of yourself? I know I sure do, at least I think I do. Maybe I do, maybe I don’t.  Oh hell, I don’t know what I think.

Now before you start to worry that maybe it’s time for me to seek professional help, and God knows it would be justified since I am raising two teenagers, stop and ask yourself if those other voices in your head are really defining who you are as a parent.  Parenting is a very confusing experience for all of us. It’s never right and it’s never wrong. It’s never black and it’s never white. There are times when I am convinced that I am doing the right thing, and then there are those times when I have no idea what I am doing. There are times when I feel guilty with the choices I make, and then there other times when I am proud of the choices I made. There are times when I rely on others for advice, and then there are times when I just wing it. There are times when I know that I should of handled the situation different, and there are times when I question how I ever made the right decision.

The problem for me is that each of my good decisions, each of my bad decisions, and each of my choices as a parent, seem to have their own little voice in my mind. There are times when I know that I made the right choice in dealing with my kids, but for some reason that voice never seems to speak up very loud. Then there are times when I know that I have made the wrong choice, only to have that voice scream  loud and clear at me. I have learned over the years that regardless of which little voice in my head is screaming the loudest, I need to remind myself that it is only one voice. Continue reading »

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What Riding a Roller Coaster Has Taught Me!

 Posted by Bill on April 4, 2011  Balancing Work and Children, Dealing with Divorce and Your Ex, General, Getting Your New Life In Order, How to Communicate with Your Kids, Raising Children as a Single Parent, Single Entrepreneur Mom, Teenagers, The Craziness of Single Parenting, Uncategorized  1 Response »
Apr 042011
 

When I was young, my friends and I would go to the local amusement park each summer and ride the roller coaster. Damn that roller coaster would scare me, but I was not about to be the first one to say it. I was convinced that each time I would get on it, would be the day that it was going come off the tracks and violently hurl me through the air to my inevitable death.  No matter how many times I rode that roller coaster, the same thought would rush through my head. In reality the roller coaster never did breakdown, let alone slam anyone into the ground, but that sure didn’t keep fear from entering my mind.

Now that I am older I still go on roller coasters and in the back of my mind I still believe that today might just be the day that the damn thing finally breaks down. Fortunately for me my past experiences tend to remind me that it just isn’t going to happen.

It’s funny how the life of a parent is like riding a roller coaster. It starts off slowly as you lean back in the seat, looking up at the blue sky above, without a worry in the world. Oh sure, you know that inevitably there are going to be some twists and turns but nothing that you can’t handle. Then reality hits! Before you know it your life is spiraling downward, your stomach drops and you start praying to God to save you. Please God just let me survive this fall and I will make sure that I do it right as a parent. Then just when you get a break from the fall, and before you can catch your breath, the next twist and turn is before you. Your mind races, your heart pounds and you hang on for all you life praying that you will survive. And when you finally are convinced that today is the day that you are going to be hurled off to your death, the ride comes to a sudden stop, and you slowly coast into the safety of the platform. Continue reading »

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“You Had Me At Hello”

 Posted by Bill on March 28, 2011  Balancing Work and Children, Dealing with Divorce and Your Ex, General, Getting Your New Life In Order, How to Communicate with Your Kids, Organizing, Raising Children as a Single Parent, Taking Time for Yourself, Teenagers  No Responses »
Mar 282011
 

In the 1986 movie “Jerry Maguire” there is a famous line where Jerry (Tom Cruise) flies back home to meet Dorothy ( Renee Zellweger) to tell her that he loves her and wants her in his life, and she tells him “You had me at hello”. What made that line so famous was that although the couple had been arguing for sometime, those five words “You had me at hello” said it all.

Sometimes in life when we say less, we are actually saying more!

When I was growing up,  my friends and I would pass each other in the hall and nod our heads. It was our way of acknowledging each other. Nodding our heads was our way of letting the other person know that they meant something to us. Nodding our heads said it all. Continue reading »

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Everything I Need To Know About Life I learned In The Last 60 Days!

 Posted by Bill on March 14, 2011  Balancing Work and Children, Dealing with Divorce and Your Ex, General, Getting Your New Life In Order, How to Communicate with Your Kids, Organizing, Raising Children as a Single Parent, Taking Time for Yourself, Teenagers, The Craziness of Single Parenting, Uncategorized  3 Responses »
Mar 142011
 

What have I been doing with my life? I always thought that life was suppose to teach me things each and every step of the way. As a young boy I attended school every day because I was told that it would teach me things that I didn’t already know. I graduated from college thinking that I would be wiser from the experience. I have tried and failed on my own for what seems like forever, because I was told that life lessons are invaluable. Imagine my surprise when I finally realized that “Everything I Need To Know About Life I learned In The Last 60 Days”! . Here are the things that I have learned about life over the past 60 days.

* Hard work does pay off.

* Time spent by yourself is the best way to reflect upon what’s important to you, and only you. It’s also a great way to calm your mind. Continue reading »

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A Dad’s Point-of-View, by Bruce Sallan – Is Change Good For You

 Posted by Bruce on January 25, 2011  How to Communicate with Your Kids  No Responses »
Jan 252011
 

Is Change Good For You?

Facebook made a minor change in how its interface worked, if that is even the right terminology.  I went into a minor fit, immediately e-mailing a techie friend for help, in my momentary panic, because it seemed my Facebook “Wall” was gone!  My friend was unavailable and after a little while of searching around on my profile and my “page,” I was able to figure it out and all was again well with the world.

Continue reading »

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A Dad’s Point-of-View, by Bruce Sallan – New Technology, New Media, and Me

 Posted by Bruce on January 18, 2011  General, How to Communicate with Your Kids  4 Responses »
Jan 182011
 
I’m a baby-boomer.  I’m a Yuppie.  I’m a man.  I’m a dad. I’m divorced.  I’m re-married. I’m a writer.  And, I’m sometimes a mess.  It’s a confusing world, no doubt, and the evolution of technology in my lifetime has contributed to my confusion.  Let’s consider what has occurred in the past half-century or so, since I was born.
When I was a child, media, and  technology were pretty simple.  Media meant the newspaper, three networks, and going to the movies.  “Live” theatre and concerts were a special treat and the telephone had a dial and a cord.  My family had one television set that residing prominently in the living room and it looked like furniture. Our record player, as they were called before “Stereo” was introduced, was designed to look like a side cupboard and was a complicated device that I was not allowed to touch.
I remember, in my early teens, riding my bike wherever I wanted to go and regularly stopping at a local book and record store, where I’d pick up the KHJ Top 40 weekly song list.  KHJ no longer exists in Los Angeles.  When I had enough change, I’d purchase a favorite single record, which was called “a 45.” Continue reading »
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A Dad’s Point-of-View, by Bruce Sallan – What We got Here Is a Failure to Communicate

 Posted by Bruce on January 11, 2011  General, How to Communicate with Your Kids  No Responses »
Jan 112011
 

I wonder who remembers that famous quote from the 1967 movie, “Cool Hand Luke,” improper use of English and all (it should be “have” rather than “got”)? That quote brings to mind the problems most parents face in communicating with their children, especially as their children enter their teen years when all of a sudden things dramatically change.  Many teens tend to think that their parents have all of a sudden become stupid, since most teens believe they have all of a sudden become experts in everything.

Being the dad to two teen boys, I’m having the joy of simultaneously dealing with this experience now, although in different ways, as my boys are distinct individuals.  It seems that I’m getting payback for all the angst I caused my parents during my own teens, times two, as I’m raising my own two boys. My late mother’s words come back to me and I smile to myself repeatedly these days as I go through what are most certainly quite typical experiences.

My older teen’s journey is less conflictive with me than with the world at large, as we’ve had the pleasure of dealing with just about every outside problem a teen boy can indulge in.  Rather than reveal too much of his personal life, I’ll leave that to your imagination. In taking a page from The Beatles; it’s been a “Magical Mystery Tour!” Continue reading »

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