“With Everything That Has Happened To You, You Can Either Feel Sorry For Yourself, or Treat What Happened To You As A Gift”

 Posted by Bill on December 12, 2011  How to Communicate with Your Kids, Raising Children as a Single Parent, Taking Time for Yourself  No Responses »
Dec 122011
 

 

“With everything that happened to you, you can either feel sorry for yourself or treat what happened as a gift. Everything is either an opportunity to grow or an obstacle to keep you from growing. You get to choose.” Wayne Dyer

Over the years I have reflected back on this quote on more than one occasion. I have even sometimes wondered if the author was a single parent. During the past nine years I have been through living with an addictive wife, a broken marriage, interventions, rehab. centers, a separation, a divorce, the death of my children’s mother, the death of their grandmother, the executor of two estates, an IRS audit (which I won), a failing business, the meltdown of my investments in the stock market, a depreciating home value, raising my children on my own 24/7, dealing with their grief, anxiety and fear issues while wondering when, or if, it will ever stop? So again I say to myself:

“With everything that happened to you, you can either feel sorry for yourself or treat what happened as a gift. Everything is either an opportunity to grow or an obstacle to keep you from growing. You get to choose.” Continue reading »

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My Son Taught Me Something That He Wish’s He Hadn’t

 Posted by Bill on October 3, 2011  General, Getting Your New Life In Order, How to Communicate with Your Kids, Raising Children as a Single Parent  1 Response »
Oct 032011
 

Over the years I have learned so much from my children. I have learned how to smile when I was feeling sad, I have learned how to be patient when I was feeling anxious, I have learned how to juggle when both hands were tied behind my back, I have learned how to do three loads of laundry before most people are even awake and I have learned what unconditional love is. Of all the lessons my children have taught me, I think the best one that I have ever learned was taught to me by my son Jack late last August. 

One day Jack and I were having one of our Dad versus seventeen year old son difference of opinion conversations. Ok it was an argument about what I expected of Jack and what he expected of me. As I threatened once again to take a way his cell phone, he responded by saying to me “Go ahead Dad, your hollow promises don’t mean anything to me.” As I started to get more upset with him I stopped in my tracks and thought hold it, he thinks that my threats are hollow huh? 

Now in my own defense, I am not the type of Dad who says one thing and does the other, it’s just that I don’t always follow through with my punishments until the end, 100% of the time. I would like to think that I follow through at least 90% of the time, but my daughter would put that number somewhere around 70% and obviously based upon Jack’s comments, he would put it somewhere around 10% of the time. Continue reading »

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When It Comes To Parenting Does Practice Make Perfect?

 Posted by Bill on September 19, 2011  General, How to Communicate with Your Kids, Raising Children as a Single Parent, Teenagers, The Craziness of Single Parenting  No Responses »
Sep 192011
 
They say that practice makes perfect. I have decided that whoever said that was obviously not a parent. I have practiced at being a good parent ever since day one, and I continue to practice at it each and every day. Last week I thought that I had finally figured it out, and then my 15 year old teenage daughter reminded me that I have a long way to go. Funny how teenagers seem to think that they know everything. I am starting to think that parenting is allot like the game of golf. No matter how much you practice, you will never get it totally right. Oh you may score well every once in awhile, but just when you start to think that  you’ve got  it figured out, you slice one it into the woods and end up taking a penalty stroke. Over the years I have had my share of penalty strokes with my kids.
The problem with being a good parent, is that your kids are constantly changing on you. Once you get to the toddler stage figured out here comes the young child stage, then the pre-teen stage and finally the dreaded teenager stage. Looking back on the early stages, I now realize that the degree of difficulty changes with each and every  stage my kids go through. It must be Gods way of reminding you that practice doesn’t always make you perfect, but it will make you better. 
I am blessed to have my parents as great examples. Since they raised  five kids, they had allot of practice. Looking back on it now I realized that they weren’t perfect, but at least they kept practicing. Actually with five kids, maybe they should have stopped practicing having children after the first two:) I am the oldest by the way! One thing that I do know is that if you as a parent keep practicing, your children will be the beneficiary of it. I pray every night for those children who don’t have parents who practice. Who have parents that give up. They are the children that will never understand how to become a good parent themselves. They are the ones whose children will turn to the dark side, when if their parents had just practiced more, they would have all seen the light. Continue reading »
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How Not To Lose Your Cool as a Single Parent

 Posted by Lisa on July 15, 2011  Getting Your New Life In Order, How to Communicate with Your Kids, Raising Children as a Single Parent, The Craziness of Single Parenting  No Responses »
Jul 152011
 

When you are a single parent day in and day out there is no other in the adult to run interference for you. No one to come in and save the day. You can learn to save you own day and not lose your cool. Here are some suggestions:

1. Know Your Limits and Obey Them: frequently when we lose our cool as single parents it is because we have crossed the line and pushed ourselves too far. What are your limits? Are you most stressed if you are tired? Hungry? Financially Strapped? Continue reading »

Are You Looking For Your Kids?

 Posted by Bill on June 27, 2011  Balancing Work and Children, General, How to Communicate with Your Kids, Raising Children as a Single Parent  No Responses »
Jun 272011
 

Have you ever heard the story about the little boy who answered the phone call?

One day, the phone rang, and the little boy answered.

“May I speak to your parents?”
“They’re busy.”

“Oh. Is anybody else there?”
“The police.” Continue reading »

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Failure to Communicate?

 Posted by Lisa on May 6, 2011  Dealing with Divorce and Your Ex, General, How to Communicate with Your Kids  No Responses »
May 062011
 

Single parents resulting from a divorce know one thing for sure, communication can be a constant challenge. No matter how “business-like” you try to be, those pesky hurt feelings, emotions, and yes, anger, rise up on occasion. Also, sometimes as a parent we want things from our children–a hug, a call, an iloveyouverymuch– they may not feel ready to give at some given moment. Recently a parent asked me:

What to do say if you have the kids for the weekend and the child is supposed to call the other parent but he or she refuses? This can be tricky because you might not know if a situation has transpired between the other parent and child or say the child might just feel “busy” watching t.v. or playing a game. Continue reading »

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to a Spanking

 Posted by Bill on April 22, 2011  Balancing Work and Children, Dealing with Divorce and Your Ex, General, How to Communicate with Your Kids  1 Response »
Apr 222011
 

 

By Will McCormick Guest Blogger

I come from a long line of folks who take the biblical principle “spare the rod, spoil the child” to heart. My children’s mother was raised the same. Growing up in the deep South in strong Southern Baptist families will teach at an early age the consequences of poor decisions. I know first hand (switch and belt) what comedians mean when joking that growing up the entire neighborhood raised a child, and applied liberal discipline in the form of a swatting. Usually, your behind was so numb by the time you got home that your parents really were not going to do much more damage when their turn rolled around. Honestly, I had good parents, and I really can only remember a few spankings growing up. By most accounts, both of my kid’s parents turned out just fine. So it should come as no surprise that we decided when expecting our first child that we were going to spank our kids as a form of discipline.

A funny thing happened on the way to a spanking.

Michael was two years old when his brother Mathew entered this world. He had endured a long day of waiting at the hospital with extended family. We had decided that I would take him home to try to keep things as normal as possible for Michael while his mother and new brother rested in the hospital. I am not quite sure how much sugar he was given while in the care of others, but picture Taz on Starbucks. I could not get him to stay in his bed. Continue reading »

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