Why Didn’t I Have Twins?

 Posted by Bill on April 25, 2011  Balancing Work and Children, Dealing with Divorce and Your Ex, Getting Your New Life In Order, Teenagers, The Craziness of Single Parenting  5 Responses »
Apr 252011
 

I have always said that I am the most blessed father in the world to have my children. Raising them on my own has definitely been a challenge, but with challenges come great rewards. I hope that I can just keep the two of them around long enough to realize this.

My son is now 17 and I am so proud of him. He and I have a bond that although not expressed daily, is there in our hearts. I have watched him mature more and more each day. His sense of humor is second to none.  The other night I told him that “Yes Jack we are going to eat together as a family” to which he replied “Dad I promise that if you let me eat downstairs in front of the TV, I won’t do drugs, get anyone pregnant or go to jail”. As he walked down the stairs to the TV, I wondered where he gets this from. Then I looked in the mirror J

My daughter who has been the apple of my eye since the day she was born has always been a joy. She has a heart of gold and a smile that stretches from here to eternity. She has never been a problem, just a good kid. That was until she turned 14 last August. I have heard stories of how girls transform at this age but hearing stories and experiencing it are two separate things. The other night Jack asked if we could just “put her down” There is that quick wit and humor again. What is it that turns little angels into devils at 14? Continue reading »

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Who Are These Voices In My Head, And Why Can’t They All Just Get Along?

 Posted by Bill on April 10, 2011  Balancing Work and Children, Dealing with Divorce and Your Ex, General, Getting Your New Life In Order, How to Communicate with Your Kids, The Craziness of Single Parenting  1 Response »
Apr 102011
 

Have you ever felt as if you had other voices running around in your head telling you what to do? Have you ever felt as if those other voices in your head are constantly reminding you of what you do wrong, more than reminding you of what you do right? Do you ever wonder why all of those other voices in your head are in essence mini images of yourself? I know I sure do, at least I think I do. Maybe I do, maybe I don’t.  Oh hell, I don’t know what I think.

Now before you start to worry that maybe it’s time for me to seek professional help, and God knows it would be justified since I am raising two teenagers, stop and ask yourself if those other voices in your head are really defining who you are as a parent.  Parenting is a very confusing experience for all of us. It’s never right and it’s never wrong. It’s never black and it’s never white. There are times when I am convinced that I am doing the right thing, and then there are those times when I have no idea what I am doing. There are times when I feel guilty with the choices I make, and then there other times when I am proud of the choices I made. There are times when I rely on others for advice, and then there are times when I just wing it. There are times when I know that I should of handled the situation different, and there are times when I question how I ever made the right decision.

The problem for me is that each of my good decisions, each of my bad decisions, and each of my choices as a parent, seem to have their own little voice in my mind. There are times when I know that I made the right choice in dealing with my kids, but for some reason that voice never seems to speak up very loud. Then there are times when I know that I have made the wrong choice, only to have that voice scream  loud and clear at me. I have learned over the years that regardless of which little voice in my head is screaming the loudest, I need to remind myself that it is only one voice. Continue reading »

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What Riding a Roller Coaster Has Taught Me!

 Posted by Bill on April 4, 2011  Balancing Work and Children, Dealing with Divorce and Your Ex, General, Getting Your New Life In Order, How to Communicate with Your Kids, Raising Children as a Single Parent, Single Entrepreneur Mom, Teenagers, The Craziness of Single Parenting, Uncategorized  1 Response »
Apr 042011
 

When I was young, my friends and I would go to the local amusement park each summer and ride the roller coaster. Damn that roller coaster would scare me, but I was not about to be the first one to say it. I was convinced that each time I would get on it, would be the day that it was going come off the tracks and violently hurl me through the air to my inevitable death.  No matter how many times I rode that roller coaster, the same thought would rush through my head. In reality the roller coaster never did breakdown, let alone slam anyone into the ground, but that sure didn’t keep fear from entering my mind.

Now that I am older I still go on roller coasters and in the back of my mind I still believe that today might just be the day that the damn thing finally breaks down. Fortunately for me my past experiences tend to remind me that it just isn’t going to happen.

It’s funny how the life of a parent is like riding a roller coaster. It starts off slowly as you lean back in the seat, looking up at the blue sky above, without a worry in the world. Oh sure, you know that inevitably there are going to be some twists and turns but nothing that you can’t handle. Then reality hits! Before you know it your life is spiraling downward, your stomach drops and you start praying to God to save you. Please God just let me survive this fall and I will make sure that I do it right as a parent. Then just when you get a break from the fall, and before you can catch your breath, the next twist and turn is before you. Your mind races, your heart pounds and you hang on for all you life praying that you will survive. And when you finally are convinced that today is the day that you are going to be hurled off to your death, the ride comes to a sudden stop, and you slowly coast into the safety of the platform. Continue reading »

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“You Had Me At Hello”

 Posted by Bill on March 28, 2011  Balancing Work and Children, Dealing with Divorce and Your Ex, General, Getting Your New Life In Order, How to Communicate with Your Kids, Organizing, Raising Children as a Single Parent, Taking Time for Yourself, Teenagers  No Responses »
Mar 282011
 

In the 1986 movie “Jerry Maguire” there is a famous line where Jerry (Tom Cruise) flies back home to meet Dorothy ( Renee Zellweger) to tell her that he loves her and wants her in his life, and she tells him “You had me at hello”. What made that line so famous was that although the couple had been arguing for sometime, those five words “You had me at hello” said it all.

Sometimes in life when we say less, we are actually saying more!

When I was growing up,  my friends and I would pass each other in the hall and nod our heads. It was our way of acknowledging each other. Nodding our heads was our way of letting the other person know that they meant something to us. Nodding our heads said it all. Continue reading »

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Everything I Need To Know About Life I learned In The Last 60 Days!

 Posted by Bill on March 14, 2011  Balancing Work and Children, Dealing with Divorce and Your Ex, General, Getting Your New Life In Order, How to Communicate with Your Kids, Organizing, Raising Children as a Single Parent, Taking Time for Yourself, Teenagers, The Craziness of Single Parenting, Uncategorized  3 Responses »
Mar 142011
 

What have I been doing with my life? I always thought that life was suppose to teach me things each and every step of the way. As a young boy I attended school every day because I was told that it would teach me things that I didn’t already know. I graduated from college thinking that I would be wiser from the experience. I have tried and failed on my own for what seems like forever, because I was told that life lessons are invaluable. Imagine my surprise when I finally realized that “Everything I Need To Know About Life I learned In The Last 60 Days”! . Here are the things that I have learned about life over the past 60 days.

* Hard work does pay off.

* Time spent by yourself is the best way to reflect upon what’s important to you, and only you. It’s also a great way to calm your mind. Continue reading »

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My Daughter Say’s That I have Committment Issues, I Say I Have Time Management Issues

 Posted by Bill on February 7, 2011  Balancing Work and Children, General, Getting Your New Life In Order, Raising Children as a Single Parent  2 Responses »
Feb 072011
 

So my blog last week I Think I’m Going To Be Single For Awhile…seemed to stir up a few comments from many of you. More than one person emailed, called or texted me with their thoughts about it. Half the people said “Well there goes some of your readers” and the other half said “Bill you just issued a challenge”. My daughter said “Dad you have commitment issues”. First I am sure that I did not lose many of my readers, and fortunately or unfortunately, no one  has yet challenged me. In fairness to Michaela I decided to look up the definition of commitment issues. Wikipedia describes “The Fear of Commitment” as:

Fear of commitment in much popular literature refers to avoidance of long-term partnership and/or marriage but the problem is often much more pervasive, affecting school, work, and home life as well.

I don’t have any commitment issues. At one time I was committed to my marriage and my past relationships. I am committed to my children, my friends and my passions. I am committed to helping single parents succeed, my website, my future coaching program and webinars. I am committed to being honest, ambitious, positive and a good role model. I am committed to my beliefs, working out at the gym every day and believing in myself. I am even committed to believing that the right person will come into my life again. I don’t have any commitment issues! What I have are time management issues! Continue reading »

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I Think I’m Going To Be Single For Awhile…

 Posted by Bill on January 31, 2011  Balancing Work and Children, Dealing with Divorce and Your Ex, General, Getting Your New Life In Order, Taking Time for Yourself, Uncategorized  1 Response »
Jan 312011
 

It seems that I am always getting emails from people asking me what the secret to happiness is as a single parent?  So many of these people are just plain unhappy being single as, a single parent. They seem to believe that they need to be with someone in order to validate their life. Then I get the emails from the married people telling me how unhappy they are, and again, if they were just single they would be happier. To this group I say “Be careful what you wish for”. The only place that you are going to find true happiness is first and foremost, within yourself. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side.

So why is it that everyone who is married thinks that I have the perfect life as a full time single dad. My friend Mike likes to tell me that I have it all figured out. I have branded myself at www.singleparentstown.com as a single dad, and in order to continue my mission, I must stay single. I remind him that some day I hope to find my soul mate again and live happily ever after, but he doesn’t believe me. He says  that he just likes to live vicariously through me. I then have to remind him that I have no vicarious to live through…

I recently noticed on Facebook that I must be single, married or complicated. Why are those the only options I have? Why can’t I be single and uncomplicated? What about those who want to be single and married? Or those that are married and want to be single? Oops, I better not go there… What about those who are complicated and want to be uncomplicated? Facebook really needs to give us all a few more options if we truly want to let our friends know who we are. Continue reading »

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