What is Success? by Jennifer Maggio

 Posted by Jennifer on May 11, 2011  General  No Responses »
May 112011
 

We have certainly become a society that is obsessed with success, haven’t we?  On every corner there is an advertisement that is selling the latest get-rich-quick or how-to-become-famous scheme.  We obsess over who will climb the corporate ladder the quickest, who will buy the largest house, the fanciest car.  We obsess over who’s kid will be the best athlete and best-looking with the highest GPA.  We obsess over who is aging the best and who is in the best shape.  On and on we go.

My inbox is inundated daily with newsletters promising to make me famous, email tips with the latest info on how to master advertising via social media, or blogs on launching successful businesses.   

And if I’m being REALLY honest with you, for brief moments of time, I have been guilty of the same ludicrous measures of success – becoming obsessed with the sales of my latest book or  how many clicks I have received on my website or any number of countless other meaningless gauges of success.  I have often been the mom who pushes her kids far too hard to be the valedictorian or best athlete or whatever else.  But when I have seen that very same nature in others, I see how ugly it truly is.   Continue reading »

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Failure to Communicate?

 Posted by Lisa on May 6, 2011  Dealing with Divorce and Your Ex, General, How to Communicate with Your Kids  No Responses »
May 062011
 

Single parents resulting from a divorce know one thing for sure, communication can be a constant challenge. No matter how “business-like” you try to be, those pesky hurt feelings, emotions, and yes, anger, rise up on occasion. Also, sometimes as a parent we want things from our children–a hug, a call, an iloveyouverymuch– they may not feel ready to give at some given moment. Recently a parent asked me:

What to do say if you have the kids for the weekend and the child is supposed to call the other parent but he or she refuses? This can be tricky because you might not know if a situation has transpired between the other parent and child or say the child might just feel “busy” watching t.v. or playing a game. Continue reading »

Does Your Child Tell You They Hate You?

 Posted by Davis on May 5, 2011  General  No Responses »
May 052011
 

Today I was doing a consultation with the mother who is having challenges with her 3 year old. He wakes in the middle of the night demanding chocolate milk and to play on his iPad. She lets him. Now she is exhausted because sometimes they are up for a few hours drinking chocolate milk and playing games on his iPad. When I told her no more milk and iPad in the middle of the night her response was, “I don’t know how I am going to do that because he is going to freak.” She is worried he is going to be angry with her. That he will hate her. Needless to say, I told her that he will be angry that he will not be getting his demands met but he will love and respect her more for his needs being met.

She asked me if my girls tell me they hate me. NO. She was in awe. Have they been angry with me? YES. Have they probably felt like they hated me when they have not liked my answer? Yes. But have they looked at me and said, “I hate you.” NEVER. My girls are not perfect by any stretch of the imagination but they have a certain level of respect for me and their father that seems to elude many other kids.

How does this happen? How does a child come to disrespect their parents? How does a child come to be comfortable telling their parent that they hate them or swear at them? And worse…hit their parent? Continue reading »

The Church and the Single Mom by Jennifer Maggio

 Posted by Jennifer on May 4, 2011  General  No Responses »
May 042011
 

It is with great excitement that I announce my upcoming book, The Church and the Single Mom, will be available in just a few weeks.  It truly has been an exciting journey to see this project take shape.

Years ago, I took my very first job at a pizza place. As a young single mom, I really needed that job. I even showed up in a business suit for the interview!  Some time later, I took a job in office management and would often bring paperwork home, because I wanted my office to run efficiently.  The same has been true for this new book.  It truly has been a labor of love. I have labored over exactly what to say, how to say it, and how to make the most impact on a much-needed, yet rarely-addressed topic.  The Church and the Single Mom broaches a subject that many would want to avoid.  It clearly defines exactly what is going on in the country in reference to single parenting, why we should care, and exactly what we can do about it.  It is a challenging book that was written from a deep place within me that longs for others to open their eyes and see. 

I have been honored to have some of the most prestigous single parent experts to endorse the book, including Bill McLeod, founder of Single Parents Town Continue reading »

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How’s Your Train Ride Going?

 Posted by Bill on May 2, 2011  Balancing Work and Children, Dealing with Divorce and Your Ex, General, Getting Your New Life In Order  No Responses »
May 022011
 

Someone once told me that life is like taking a train ride. The unique part about it is that from start to finish, you and only you, will be the only one on the entire ride.  Oh sure others will join you for part of your ride, but again you and only you, will be the only one on the entire ride. The ride usually starts off slowly and calmly, but before you know it the train picks up speed and you seem to be flying along faster than you might be comfortable with. There will be twists and turns, peaks and valleys, happiness and sadness along the way, but again you and only you, will be the only one on the entire ride.  The train will occasionally stop along the way and others will join you, but again you and only you, will be the only one on the entire ride.

I often have thought about the times on the ride, where we knew that we were about to enter a dark tunnel, and just couldn’t seem to do anything about it. It’s just part of our ride. Once in the tunnel darkness consumes us, and depending upon the length of the tunnel, our fear of disaster is heightened. We worry that our ride is about to turn into a train wreck. What I have learned on my ride, especially during those trips into darkness, is that we always come out of the tunnel to the light again. I have also learned that since I will surly exit the tunnel intact, I sure as the heck want to make sure that I don’t do anything, while in the darkness, that I will be embarrassed for, ashamed of or regret once I come out of the tunnel. I want to approach each and every dark tunnel with confidence, hope and dignity because again, I will exit the tunnel, and I and only I, will be the only one on the entire ride.

I have also thought about all of the people who so far who have joined me on my train ride. From friends to family, from associates to enemies, and from those that were close to me at the time, to the total strangers. Some of these people are still on the ride with me, and hopefully many of them will stay on the ride with me for some time to come. The crazy thing about those who join me is that I never really know when, or if, they are going to get off. Each time I feel the train starting to slow down I wonder is someone I know is getting off or is someone new about to join me? I even wonder, God forbid, is this the end of the ride for me. Continue reading »

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From the Child’s Point of View

 Posted by Lisa on April 29, 2011  General  No Responses »
Apr 292011
 

The other day I was channel surfing and I stopped when I saw a familiar face. It was M. Gary Neuman. I feel like I know Gary because I read his book, Helping Your Kids Cope with Divorce the Sandcastles Way, and I have seen him on Oprah. There are a lot of self help books out there, and a lot of divorce books, too. But what really got me about Gary’s book is that he gets kids and when you read his book, you get a better understanding how all the marital turmoil affects children.

Gary provides insight into the world of children. Pictures, letters and quotes from kids are included. You can probably get a copy at the library.

On the Joy Behar’s show Gary said something like this: “During divorce parents are at their worst (hurt, angry, financially and emotionally wrecked), and that is when their children need them the most.” Many parents get stuck in their bad place and the kids are left feeling alone and confused. Continue reading »

Let It Be!

 Posted by Davis on April 28, 2011  General  1 Response »
Apr 282011
 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ajCYQL8ouqw

I was overwhelmed with gratitude and humbled by the many heartfelt responses I received about my blog  Breaking Up IS Hard To Do! last week. I was also astounded by how many people chose to share. I thank each of you who read and did share it on your facebook or twitter pages. As much I love for all of you to post it, what is more important is that I gave you something that you could feel, learn from, and be better for. I have found the more vulnerable I am while writing these blogs each week, the more they touch people.  I  suppose it is because we have all ‘been there’ and we all respond to the vulnerability of another. And…boy did I let myself be vulnerable on that one!

I usually start pondering the next blog around Tuesday if something doesn’t hit me before that. This week was a little different. Monday night Scout and I were hanging out and she said out of the blue, “Let’s listen to the Beatles ‘Let It Be’.” I was in the middle of working and by the time I was done we had both moved on to other things.

Then the next morning when I woke up everything felt fresh again. Remember when I wrote last week ~  “It will be hard to go to sleep alone but it will be harder to wake up alone?”  That’s how I woke up – feeling alone. I started thinking about everyone who may have woken up that morning feeling alone, overwhelmed, stressed, angry, grief stricken, in pain, worried, etc.   Continue reading »

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