May 112013
 

Good morning friends and Happy Saturday!

Due to school, two jobs, working to get my book published, and most importantly being a father, there has not been free time for writing and I apologize for that. But today is the day I return after a near month long hiatus from the “blogosphere”.

Balancing it all and the comfort of having a stable full time job doing something I absolutely love has brought me to another realization. When a divorce becomes final it’s our chance to start digging out of a hole. “Digging out of a hole”, never a term that I’ve cared for, it’s completely backwards. Think about it. If you are standing in a hole and you keep digging you will only get deeper. The biggest mystery is that we never figure out how deep of a hole we dug until we begin to climb out of it.

So how exactly do we get out of that hole? It starts with another realization. If you sit on your butt, you will go absolutely nowhere. So first, you need to stand up and most importantly get rid of the shovel that helped you dig. Continue reading »

May 082013
 

We did it again.

Kelley, Kelly, Dianna, and I met up on Anna Maria Island in Florida again. We did this two years ago and regretfully skipped last year. We have made a commitment not to miss this time together again. Getting together has proven to be the most outrageous, honest, pure, and laughter inducing time we experience all year.

I saw a quote that summed up our time together.

It said:
LIFE IS SHORT. BREAK THE RULES. FORGIVE QUICKLY. LOVE TRULY. LAUGH UNCONTROLABLY. NEVER REGRET ANYTHING THAT MADE YOU SMILE. Continue reading »

May 032013
 

break free2I knew I had break free and get off Wronged Road.  Been down this boulevard of broken dreams, hearts, and lives before.  Here I am on it again, going the wrong way. Feels justifying to stay, and don’t feel like getting off it either.  Wronged Road is deceiving, with the perceived power and justification that the offender is being held accountable for their actions.   Then I realize the further I travel down this road, the more I can’t move: shackled and bound by a time and place someone else has chosen.   It weighed me down and imprisoned my soul as I chose to stay on it and turn my back on my future.  Need to find a bridge to cross.  Does this journey sound familiar?  Many people have have walked this road, not just single parents.

Want to break free?  Need to set it free.  You won’t feel like it and seeing as you are the only one that has walked in your shoes, the pain caused is certainly real.  If you so choose, need to give something away that will take everything you have.  It starts with a decision and your will to carry it out.  Forgiveness.

“Forgiveness is an act of the will, and the will can function regardless of the temperature of the heart.”  – Corrie ten Boom Continue reading »

May 012013
 

lonely-1

There is a beautiful song out there by JJ Heller called “Love Me” .  As I was driving home a few years ago, my then 15-year-old son mentioned to me that he loved this song and asked me to turn the radio up.  As I began to listen to the words, tears rolled down my face.

“Who will love me,  for me?……….not what I’ve done or what I”ll become…..” Continue reading »

Apr 302013
 
man's hands gifting heart on valentine daySometimes the heart will break but just because the heart is broken does not mean your spirit is…. let your spirit lead you through the difficult days and have faith that, with time, your heart will heal and you will emerge stronger and wiser than before…. Michele DeVille
Most everyone that reads this has, at one point in time, had their heart broken and for some it has been broken more than once. Perhaps you had your heart broken by a first love many years ago. Maybe you married the man or woman you believed to be your soulmate and years later found  yourself divorced and struggling to understand what went wrong. Perhaps the love of your life passed away and your heart is broken into a million pieces and it feels like you will never feel whole again. Regardless of the reason, a broken heart can leave us feeling alone, devastated, sad and overcome with sadness. The grief from a broken heart can feel unbearable and lead us to a place that tests our faith and makes it difficult to trust and love again. Continue reading »
Apr 292013
 

“Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome.”

I was recently asked to write an article about becoming a single parent due to addiction or abuse. I guess that sometimes I forget that so many of us become single parents, not because we chose to and not because our marriage just didn’t work out, but because of addictions and abuse. Since I fall into the first category, single due to an addiction, I thought that I would try and understand what it truly means to become a single parent due to abuse.

Although I have lived this life, I still wanted to make sure that I had my basis and facts covered. The first thing that I did was go to the Internets all knowing dictionary, Wikipedia. Each time I go there I have the benefit viewing a page or two of relative information. Not much, but enough to get me up to speed on what it is I am trying to understand. This week I looked up the word “Abuse”. OMG (That’s text for those of you who don’t have teenagers which means OH MY GOD) There was page, after page, after page of definitions. Child abuse, dating abuse, addiction abuse, abuse of power and the big one domestic abuse. The definition of domestic abuse is described below: Continue reading »