Nov 152010
 

OK in the spirit of full disclosure I originally wrote this blog over two years ago. The reason that I am re posting it today is that first I love the blog, and second  I have had a weekend from hell. It involves a lost car title, dumpster diving and a few other events that I will save for another blog. Anyway onward and upward to better and brighter days…

Webster’s Dictionary defines the word bonding as:

bond·ing Continue reading »

Nov 142010
 

I have always been one of those people that tries hard to get along with everyone and needs to be liked by everyone.  I was the kid that interacted with “all” the groups in school, stuck up for the kid that was getting picked on and seemed to be everyones best friend.  All these years later I continue to find myself holding that position and while it is one I will always value I have come to realize that there are times it can bring challenges and divorce is no exception.

With that being said and two divorces later, I am a huge advocate for people trying to find a way to get along following the chaos divorce can bring.  This is easier said than done but the gifts it can bring to everyone involved is priceless and most importantly, can bring a much better lifestyle to the kids.  Divorce is hard on everyone and divorce does not just bring an ending to a marriage but can sometimes bring an end to an entire way of life.

There are many people that find themselves divorced, a single parent and stuck in a place of anger, sadness, bitterness and blame for a very long time.  The result?  Continued fighting and disagreements with the ex-spouse, kids in the middle and uncomfortable situations like birthday parties, graduations, weddings, funerals and holidays.   This is a no-win situation for everyone and one that will stand in the way of people moving on with their lives, discovering a sense of peace and opening their hearts to all of the amazing possibilities that lie in front of them including maintaining a friendship with our ex and everyone that was a part of them. Continue reading »

Nov 082010
 

OK now that I have your attention let me explain. For years, all I have heard is how tough it is for the single parent. How we have to do it all on our own. How we have no one to help. How we have so little time for ourselves and so much work. How our kids will be effected because they are being raised by a single parent. How sad it is. Well let me inform you all of one thing, I feel blessed to be raising my kids on my own. Oh sure it would be nice to have some extra help and a little more free time every now and then, but that’s life. As the saying goes “Stuff happens”. Get over it…  Stuff happens in every household. Below is a list of “stuff” that I, and only I, get to experience as a single parent.

  1. I’m on call 24/7. I like that, as it gives me a sense of purpose
  2. When the kids got hurt I got to kiss every boo-boo.
  3. I recognize fully that my children are uniquely gifted and valuable individuals because I get to watch it happen each and every day.
  4. I get to plan every birthday party and get 100% of the credit. This too gives me a sense of purpose.
  5. I get to create a warm and loving home, all by myself.
  6. I’m the one they call when they are sick at school.
  7. I’m also the one who misses work to take care of them.
  8. I get to teach them the value of friendships.
  9. I get to help them make good decisions on a daily basis, or at least watch as they lean from their bad decisions.
  10. I am the one that gets to take them school cloths shopping every time.
  11. I know everything about their medical and school records.
  12. The report cards always come to me.
  13. I am the only one that has to live by my decisions as a parent
  14. No ones tells me, “You should spend more time with the kids”.
  15. I know the difference between “wants” and “needs”.
  16. I get to teach my children how to be responsible for themselves.
  17. I have to demonstrate resilience and determination every day.
  18. Your kids know they’re loved.
  19. Your kids are proud of you, too.

You see there are really so many benefits to being a single parent. Am I exhausted at times? Sure I am, but it is a good exhaustion. Do I miss having extra free time? Sure I do, but on the flip side, I get too spend more time with my kids? Do I wish that I had more help? Definitely, but there is no greater satisfaction than knowing I am totally responsible for the kids. Do I have a fear that I may do something wrong? Yes I do, but fear is a great motivator. It motivates me to keep a smile on my face, hope in my heart and a belief that someday when my kids are older, they are going to say those four words to me and only me, that will bring me to my knees. Continue reading »

Oct 252010
 

Have you ever heard the story about the little boy who answered the phone call?

One day, the phone rang, and the little boy answered.
“May I speak to your parents?”
“They’re busy.”
“Oh. Is anybody else there?”
“The police.”
“Can I speak to them?”
“They’re busy.”
“Oh. Is anybody else there?”
“The firemen.”
“Can I speak to them?”
“They’re busy.”

“So let me get this straight — your parents, the police, and the firemen are there, but they’re all busy? What are they doing?”

“Lookin for me.” Continue reading »

Oct 182010
 

As a single dad I am very happy to have what some would perceive to be a “small family”. Two children, one dog, one cat, and yes the pets are part of our family. What I am not happy with is having to pull up behind some car with more stick men characters than I care to count. You know the ones that I am talking about. The dad, the mom, four kids, three dogs, two cats and a bunch of fish.

What is it about these people that make them think I really care about how many kids they have, let alone how many pets. Do I really care that you have Fido and Kitty on board? No I don’t. Continue reading »

Oct 012010
 

I have never used this blog to make a political statement and I am not about to do so today. I personally do not care if you are a Republican a Democrat or and Independent. I don’t care if you are a card carrying member of the Green Party, Brown Party, Yellow Party or Chuckie Cheese Party.

I have always believed that this blog should be an opportunity for you the reader to take a peek inside the  life of  a single dad. I believe that is what I have always done and will continue to do so. But last night, as I sat at home with the kids watching the news, I couldn’t help to think that Washington needs a co-parenting class.

Here we have our role models our leaders and in essence the parents of our country acting like two bickering parents. Do they not get it? It’s not about who wins, or who you love the most or who you want to live with it’s about us, the children of this country. The ones who have to live with your decisions and bickering each and every day. Do any of you think about us the children first. OK I know that each of you parents believe that your way is the right way, but is it really? We as the children of this country need you to be there for us. To set an example. To consciously co-parent us effectively. To first put our needs in mind not your own individual self serving motives. We will accept the fact that you will never see eye to eye on everything. After all that  is why you have separated. We will accept the fact that you are hurt and angry about your loses but why must you take it out on us? Why can’t you just give a little and meet half way? That is all we the children of this country want. Continue reading »

Sep 242010
 

I wanted to share with you today three tips form my new book “Kickin’ Butt as a Single Parent-99 Tips That Every Single Parent Must Have”. I believe that these tips will help empower you as a parent to succeed like never before. I would love to hear back from you what tips have helped you over the years. Have a great weekend my friends…

 Tip 1: Create a personal song list.

This tip was one best things I ever did for myself. I made a list of my all-time favorite songs; the songs that meant the most to me in my past. Once I did this, I had a CD created with each song, and then downloaded it on to my I-Pod. Continue reading »