How Is Your Train Ride Going?

 Posted by Bill on September 26, 2011  Dealing with Divorce and Your Ex, General, Raising Children as a Single Parent, The Craziness of Single Parenting  No Responses »
Sep 262011
 

I wrote this blog sometime back and wanted to repost it for all of you. Life is funny how it moves forward, sometimes to fast and sometimes to slow, but rest assured it will continue to move forward. I hope that this blog today helps you understand that life is like a train ride and only you have the pleasure of being on the entire ride from start to finish. Have an amazing day everyone…

Someone once told me that life is like taking a train ride. The unique part about it is that from start to finish, you and only you, will be the only one on the entire ride.  Oh sure others will join you for part of your ride, but again you and only you, will be the only one on the entire ride. The ride usually starts off slowly and calmly, but before you know it the train picks up speed and you seem to be flying along faster than you might be comfortable with. There will be twists and turns, peaks and valleys, happiness and sadness along the way, but again you and only you, will be the only one on the entire ride.  The train will occasionally stop along the way and others will join you, but again you and only you, will be the only one on the entire ride.

I often have thought about the times on the ride, where we knew that we were about to enter a dark tunnel, and just couldn’t seem to do anything about it. It’s just part of our ride. Once in the tunnel darkness consumes us, and depending upon the length of the tunnel, our fear of disaster is heightened. We worry that our ride is about to turn into a train wreck. What I have learned on my ride, especially during those trips into darkness, is that we always come out of the tunnel to the light again. I have also learned that since I will surly exit the tunnel intact, I sure as the heck want to make sure that I don’t do anything, while in the darkness, that I will be embarrassed for, ashamed of or regret once I come out of the tunnel. I want to approach each and every dark tunnel with confidence, hope and dignity because again, I will exit the tunnel, and I and only I, will be the only one on the entire ride. Continue reading »

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Are You A Single Parent Because Of Abuse?

 Posted by Bill on August 21, 2011  Balancing Work and Children, Dealing with Divorce and Your Ex, General, Raising Children as a Single Parent, The Craziness of Single Parenting  3 Responses »
Aug 212011
 

“Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome.”

I was recently asked to write an article about becoming a single parent due to addiction or abuse. I guess that sometimes I forget that so many of us become single parents, not because we chose to and not because our marriage just didn’t work out, but because of addictions and abuse. Since I fall into the first category, single due to an addiction, I thought that I would try and understand what it truly means to become a single parent due to abuse.

Although I have lived this life, I still wanted to make sure that I had my basis and facts covered. The first thing that I did was go to the Internets all knowing dictionary, Wikipedia. Each time I go there I have the benefit viewing a page or two of relative information. Not much, but enough to get me up to speed on what it is I am trying to understand. This week I looked up the word “Abuse”. OMG (That’s text for those of you who don’t have teenagers which means OH MY GOD) There was page, after page, after page of definitions. Child abuse, dating abuse, addiction abuse, abuse of power and the big one domestic abuse. The definition ofdomestic abuse is described below: Continue reading »

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A Parents Job Description…

 Posted by Bill on June 20, 2011  Balancing Work and Children, Dealing with Divorce and Your Ex, General, Getting Your New Life In Order, Raising Children as a Single Parent, Teenagers, The Craziness of Single Parenting, Uncategorized  No Responses »
Jun 202011
 

Since it is Monday and the new week is upon us, I thought that I would share with you a job description that a friend of mine recently shared with me. I have posted this blog once before but believe that it it is worth repeating. I hope that it brings a smile to your face and starts your weekend off on the right foot. It is hilarious and something we can all relate to.

POSITION:

Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma Continue reading »

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You Are Enough

 Posted by Lisa on May 20, 2011  Dealing with Divorce and Your Ex, General  1 Response »
May 202011
 

What-Every-Parent-Should-Know-About-Divorce-Video

As Oprah winds down her final season of the Oprah Winfrey show I have tuned in to catch the last week of shows. Yesterday she had on her most memorable guests from the last 25 years, including two refugees from Rwanda and also a courageous woman who while dying of cancer recorded hours and hours of video with lessons for her then small daughter to grow up with. Here message: Live in the now. The present is all we know we have for sure.

Also on the show was one of my favorite Oprah guests: M. Gary Neuman. I have written about him here before. He is the author of numerous books, including Divorce the Sandcastle Way and Connect to Love. Neuman sat down again with a single father and two children whose mother had left them. The children shared their pain and Oprah said they were most memorable because they mirrored what many children in America feel. The show highligheted the fact that while many people say “children are resilient” and ”they will be okay” parents and other loving members of the extended family must continue to reach out and listen to the children and help ease their pain. Continue reading »

Are You In Denial?

 Posted by Bill on May 15, 2011  Balancing Work and Children, Dealing with Divorce and Your Ex, Nutrition, Raising Children as a Single Parent, Single Entrepreneur Mom, Taking Time for Yourself  3 Responses »
May 152011
 

Today I want to challenge each and everyone of you with my blog. I want to challenge you to be brutally honest with yourself and ask yourself just one question “Are you in Denial?”. I will bet that the majority of you will emphatically answer NO. I’m not in denial, I fully accept what has gone on in my life, what is going on in my life and why it has all happened, I have no regrets… But I will say to you right now that you ARE in denial, you just don’t know it yet. First let’s understand what denial is.

Webster’s Dictionary defines Denial as:

Refusal to admit the truth or reality (as of a statement or charge) (2) : assertion that an allegation is false. Continue reading »

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How’s The Movie In Your Mind Playing Out?

 Posted by Bill on May 9, 2011  Balancing Work and Children, Dealing with Divorce and Your Ex, Getting Your New Life In Order, Organizing, Raising Children as a Single Parent  No Responses »
May 092011
 

There is a saying that goes like this, “In life we mainly see what we look for”. I think that all of us at one time or another has looked for the worst in our situations, only to have it become our reality. Why is it that some people see themselves, and their lives, in such a negative way that they can’t seem to figure out why nothing ever goes right for them? Why is it that we as parents sometimes see the negative things in our children, and then wonder why they lose confidence in themselves? Why is it that we are all products of what our minds tell us, rather than what are dreams instill in us?

Our minds are like a movie, replaying over and over again what we see in them. If we constantly see the past, present or future as a negative thing, then that is how our movie will play out. If we see our children never amounting to anything, then that is the movie we will portray to them. If we see every little thing that has gone wrong with our lives as a bad thing, rather than a lesson, then we will never be able to create a happy ending to our movie.

Our experiences are just life’s lessons, not defining moments. They are just one of the the scenes in our movie that occurred prior to us becoming wiser. Never forget that your mind is constantly creating a movie that is playing right before you. Even more importantly, never forget that you are the director, producer and writer of you own movie. If you want to create a sad ending you can do that, but if you want to create a happy ending, where all of your dreams come true, then you can do that as well. It is all up to YOU and only YOU. Why not start today creating an Academy Award winning movie that will bring you happiness, joy and success for not only you, but your entire family. Continue reading »

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Failure to Communicate?

 Posted by Lisa on May 6, 2011  Dealing with Divorce and Your Ex, General, How to Communicate with Your Kids  No Responses »
May 062011
 

Single parents resulting from a divorce know one thing for sure, communication can be a constant challenge. No matter how “business-like” you try to be, those pesky hurt feelings, emotions, and yes, anger, rise up on occasion. Also, sometimes as a parent we want things from our children–a hug, a call, an iloveyouverymuch– they may not feel ready to give at some given moment. Recently a parent asked me:

What to do say if you have the kids for the weekend and the child is supposed to call the other parent but he or she refuses? This can be tricky because you might not know if a situation has transpired between the other parent and child or say the child might just feel “busy” watching t.v. or playing a game. Continue reading »

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