I Am Not Sure How To Feel About This..

 Posted by Bill on May 22, 2011  Balancing Work and Children, Raising Children as a Single Parent, Teenagers, Uncategorized  1 Response »
May 222011
 

I know that each one of my children is a gift from God. I also know that as a parent, it is my job to build a foundation that one day will allow them to spread their wings and soar, to fly without fear, to fly with confidence and to fly in the direction that their heart takes them. I have always supported my kids in whatever sport, event, hobby and challenge they have faced. I love them unconditionally and without judgment. I love them for their uniqueness and their differences. I love them for who they are and what they are not. I love them for being them.

Have you ever noticed how people tend to describe their children, as well as others, by mentioning only a few of their many amazing qualities? They say things like; Tommy is such a great athlete, or Suzy is such a good student, or Mary is an amazing dancer, or Joey is a wonderful musician. I’m not immune form this. People always seem to describe my daughter Michaela as, beautiful with amazing blue eyes and a good soccer player. I agree with both of these descriptions but I also describe her as a protector of the underdog, a determined young lady, and one who has a heart of gold. People always seem to describe my son Jack as handsome, witty and smart. Again I agree with all of these assessments, but I also describe him as independent, headstrong and a young man who can do anything, and I mean anything, that he sets his mind too.

Ever since Jack was young I have had this gut feeling that he was going to truly do “something special” in this world. Since he is witty and charming, stubborn and independent and very intelligent (he had the 30th highest score out of 400 kids on his high school entrance exam) I always thought that he might become a doctor, a lawyer, or a successful entrepreneur. I really didn’t care which career he chose, although with the cost of med school being what it is,I was hoping that option three would be the last of his choices. All that I really ever wanted for Jack was for him to reach his full potential, and do that “special thing” that I have always believed in my gut he was destined to do. Continue reading »

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Are You In Denial?

 Posted by Bill on May 15, 2011  Balancing Work and Children, Dealing with Divorce and Your Ex, Nutrition, Raising Children as a Single Parent, Single Entrepreneur Mom, Taking Time for Yourself  3 Responses »
May 152011
 

Today I want to challenge each and everyone of you with my blog. I want to challenge you to be brutally honest with yourself and ask yourself just one question “Are you in Denial?”. I will bet that the majority of you will emphatically answer NO. I’m not in denial, I fully accept what has gone on in my life, what is going on in my life and why it has all happened, I have no regrets… But I will say to you right now that you ARE in denial, you just don’t know it yet. First let’s understand what denial is.

Webster’s Dictionary defines Denial as:

Refusal to admit the truth or reality (as of a statement or charge) (2) : assertion that an allegation is false. Continue reading »

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How’s The Movie In Your Mind Playing Out?

 Posted by Bill on May 9, 2011  Balancing Work and Children, Dealing with Divorce and Your Ex, Getting Your New Life In Order, Organizing, Raising Children as a Single Parent  No Responses »
May 092011
 

There is a saying that goes like this, “In life we mainly see what we look for”. I think that all of us at one time or another has looked for the worst in our situations, only to have it become our reality. Why is it that some people see themselves, and their lives, in such a negative way that they can’t seem to figure out why nothing ever goes right for them? Why is it that we as parents sometimes see the negative things in our children, and then wonder why they lose confidence in themselves? Why is it that we are all products of what our minds tell us, rather than what are dreams instill in us?

Our minds are like a movie, replaying over and over again what we see in them. If we constantly see the past, present or future as a negative thing, then that is how our movie will play out. If we see our children never amounting to anything, then that is the movie we will portray to them. If we see every little thing that has gone wrong with our lives as a bad thing, rather than a lesson, then we will never be able to create a happy ending to our movie.

Our experiences are just life’s lessons, not defining moments. They are just one of the the scenes in our movie that occurred prior to us becoming wiser. Never forget that your mind is constantly creating a movie that is playing right before you. Even more importantly, never forget that you are the director, producer and writer of you own movie. If you want to create a sad ending you can do that, but if you want to create a happy ending, where all of your dreams come true, then you can do that as well. It is all up to YOU and only YOU. Why not start today creating an Academy Award winning movie that will bring you happiness, joy and success for not only you, but your entire family. Continue reading »

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How’s Your Train Ride Going?

 Posted by Bill on May 2, 2011  Balancing Work and Children, Dealing with Divorce and Your Ex, General, Getting Your New Life In Order  No Responses »
May 022011
 

Someone once told me that life is like taking a train ride. The unique part about it is that from start to finish, you and only you, will be the only one on the entire ride.  Oh sure others will join you for part of your ride, but again you and only you, will be the only one on the entire ride. The ride usually starts off slowly and calmly, but before you know it the train picks up speed and you seem to be flying along faster than you might be comfortable with. There will be twists and turns, peaks and valleys, happiness and sadness along the way, but again you and only you, will be the only one on the entire ride.  The train will occasionally stop along the way and others will join you, but again you and only you, will be the only one on the entire ride.

I often have thought about the times on the ride, where we knew that we were about to enter a dark tunnel, and just couldn’t seem to do anything about it. It’s just part of our ride. Once in the tunnel darkness consumes us, and depending upon the length of the tunnel, our fear of disaster is heightened. We worry that our ride is about to turn into a train wreck. What I have learned on my ride, especially during those trips into darkness, is that we always come out of the tunnel to the light again. I have also learned that since I will surly exit the tunnel intact, I sure as the heck want to make sure that I don’t do anything, while in the darkness, that I will be embarrassed for, ashamed of or regret once I come out of the tunnel. I want to approach each and every dark tunnel with confidence, hope and dignity because again, I will exit the tunnel, and I and only I, will be the only one on the entire ride.

I have also thought about all of the people who so far who have joined me on my train ride. From friends to family, from associates to enemies, and from those that were close to me at the time, to the total strangers. Some of these people are still on the ride with me, and hopefully many of them will stay on the ride with me for some time to come. The crazy thing about those who join me is that I never really know when, or if, they are going to get off. Each time I feel the train starting to slow down I wonder is someone I know is getting off or is someone new about to join me? I even wonder, God forbid, is this the end of the ride for me. Continue reading »

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Why Didn’t I Have Twins?

 Posted by Bill on April 25, 2011  Balancing Work and Children, Dealing with Divorce and Your Ex, Getting Your New Life In Order, Teenagers, The Craziness of Single Parenting  5 Responses »
Apr 252011
 

I have always said that I am the most blessed father in the world to have my children. Raising them on my own has definitely been a challenge, but with challenges come great rewards. I hope that I can just keep the two of them around long enough to realize this.

My son is now 17 and I am so proud of him. He and I have a bond that although not expressed daily, is there in our hearts. I have watched him mature more and more each day. His sense of humor is second to none.  The other night I told him that “Yes Jack we are going to eat together as a family” to which he replied “Dad I promise that if you let me eat downstairs in front of the TV, I won’t do drugs, get anyone pregnant or go to jail”. As he walked down the stairs to the TV, I wondered where he gets this from. Then I looked in the mirror J

My daughter who has been the apple of my eye since the day she was born has always been a joy. She has a heart of gold and a smile that stretches from here to eternity. She has never been a problem, just a good kid. That was until she turned 14 last August. I have heard stories of how girls transform at this age but hearing stories and experiencing it are two separate things. The other night Jack asked if we could just “put her down” There is that quick wit and humor again. What is it that turns little angels into devils at 14? Continue reading »

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A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to a Spanking

 Posted by Bill on April 22, 2011  Balancing Work and Children, Dealing with Divorce and Your Ex, General, How to Communicate with Your Kids  1 Response »
Apr 222011
 

 

By Will McCormick Guest Blogger

I come from a long line of folks who take the biblical principle “spare the rod, spoil the child” to heart. My children’s mother was raised the same. Growing up in the deep South in strong Southern Baptist families will teach at an early age the consequences of poor decisions. I know first hand (switch and belt) what comedians mean when joking that growing up the entire neighborhood raised a child, and applied liberal discipline in the form of a swatting. Usually, your behind was so numb by the time you got home that your parents really were not going to do much more damage when their turn rolled around. Honestly, I had good parents, and I really can only remember a few spankings growing up. By most accounts, both of my kid’s parents turned out just fine. So it should come as no surprise that we decided when expecting our first child that we were going to spank our kids as a form of discipline.

A funny thing happened on the way to a spanking.

Michael was two years old when his brother Mathew entered this world. He had endured a long day of waiting at the hospital with extended family. We had decided that I would take him home to try to keep things as normal as possible for Michael while his mother and new brother rested in the hospital. I am not quite sure how much sugar he was given while in the care of others, but picture Taz on Starbucks. I could not get him to stay in his bed. Continue reading »

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Who Are These Voices In My Head, And Why Can’t They All Just Get Along?

 Posted by Bill on April 10, 2011  Balancing Work and Children, Dealing with Divorce and Your Ex, General, Getting Your New Life In Order, How to Communicate with Your Kids, The Craziness of Single Parenting  1 Response »
Apr 102011
 

Have you ever felt as if you had other voices running around in your head telling you what to do? Have you ever felt as if those other voices in your head are constantly reminding you of what you do wrong, more than reminding you of what you do right? Do you ever wonder why all of those other voices in your head are in essence mini images of yourself? I know I sure do, at least I think I do. Maybe I do, maybe I don’t.  Oh hell, I don’t know what I think.

Now before you start to worry that maybe it’s time for me to seek professional help, and God knows it would be justified since I am raising two teenagers, stop and ask yourself if those other voices in your head are really defining who you are as a parent.  Parenting is a very confusing experience for all of us. It’s never right and it’s never wrong. It’s never black and it’s never white. There are times when I am convinced that I am doing the right thing, and then there are those times when I have no idea what I am doing. There are times when I feel guilty with the choices I make, and then there other times when I am proud of the choices I made. There are times when I rely on others for advice, and then there are times when I just wing it. There are times when I know that I should of handled the situation different, and there are times when I question how I ever made the right decision.

The problem for me is that each of my good decisions, each of my bad decisions, and each of my choices as a parent, seem to have their own little voice in my mind. There are times when I know that I made the right choice in dealing with my kids, but for some reason that voice never seems to speak up very loud. Then there are times when I know that I have made the wrong choice, only to have that voice scream  loud and clear at me. I have learned over the years that regardless of which little voice in my head is screaming the loudest, I need to remind myself that it is only one voice. Continue reading »

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