Since it is Monday and the new week is upon us, I thought that I would share with you a job description that a friend of mine recently shared with me. I have posted this blog once before but believe that it it is worth repeating. I hope that it brings a smile to your face and starts your weekend off on the right foot. It is hilarious and something we can all relate to.
POSITION:
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma Continue reading »
They say that practice makes perfect. I have decided that whoever said that was obviously not a parent. I have practiced at being a good parent ever since day one, and I continue to practice at it each and every day. Last week I thought that I had finally figured it out, and then my 15 year old teenage daughter reminded me that I have a long way to go. Funny how teenagers seem to think that they know everything. I am starting to think that parenting is allot like the game of golf. No matter how much you practice, you will never get it totally right. Oh you may score well every once in awhile, but just when you start to think that you’ve got it figured out, you slice one it into the woods and end up taking a penalty stroke. Over the years I have had my share of penalty strokes with my kids.
I have decided to change my kid’s names from Jack and Michaela to Dow and NASDAQ. Why you ask? It’s because I believe that raising them is like investing in the stock market. As long as I put something into them each month, I am bound to get a good return on my investment. At least that’s what the experts tell me. Recently I have found that my success with the kids has been similar to my recent returns in the stock market. Dismal! I have scratched my head, reviewed my parental investing strategy and made some adjustments. But still I am not seeing the returns that I had hoped for. I keep telling myself that’s its not how I start but how I finish. This would make sense if I was a marathon runner, but as a single dad I am a sprinter. I sprint from school event to sporting event, from grocery store to doctor’s appointments, from homework assignments to dinners. I want to see a return NOW!
My financial planner tells me to have patience. Follow the plan, and that all things are difficult before they are easy. Easy for him to say, he’s getting paid monthly on what I invest with him. I want to see a return NOW!
I know that I am not the only single parent that wants a return on his investment NOW. Why does this have to be so difficult? You give, you love, you encourage, you discipline and you lead, but still I am not seeing the results. I want a return NOW! Continue reading »
“Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome.”
I was recently asked to write an article about becoming a single parent due to addiction or abuse. I guess that sometimes I forget that so many of us become single parents, not because we chose to and not because our marriage just didn’t work out, but because of addictions and abuse. Since I fall into the first category, single due to an addiction, I thought that I would try and understand what it truly means to become a single parent due to abuse.
Although I have lived this life, I still wanted to make sure that I had my basis and facts covered. The first thing that I did was go to the Internets all knowing dictionary, Wikipedia. Each time I go there I have the benefit viewing a page or two of relative information. Not much, but enough to get me up to speed on what it is I am trying to understand. This week I looked up the word “Abuse”. OMG (That’s text for those of you who don’t have teenagers which means OH MY GOD) There was page, after page, after page of definitions. Child abuse, dating abuse, addiction abuse, abuse of power and the big one domestic abuse. The definition ofdomestic abuse is described below: Continue reading »
Seriously being a DAD was the worst decision of my life. How could I be so dumb? How could I have not seen it coming? How did I ever get myself into this? Being a DAD was the worst decision of my life! There were so many other paths I could have chosen. There were so many other decisions I could have made and should have made. What was I thinking? Obviously my attitude about it failed me, obviously my decision making was skewed, why was I in denial when I had always seemed to of made good decisions in the past? Being a DAD was the worst decision of my life.
Prior to being a DAD my life was great. My business was booming, my relationships were phenomenal, my attitude was authentic, my outlook was positive, my life was darn near perfect, and then it happened, I became a DAD. What made it worst is that I have become a DAD more than once in my life. You would think that after becoming a DAD once I would have learned, but no, not me, I had to become a DAD again. What was I thinking? I knew that I hated being a DAD but I did it again. As I look back on my life I wish more than anything else I had never ever become a DAD. Being a DAD was the worst thing that I ever did.
Now before you all start worrying about my children let me explain to you what being a DAD is all about. Here you go… First being a DAD has nothing to do with being a parent, a father or a hero to your kids. Being a DAD is a state of mind that each and every one of us has fallen into at one time or another in our lives. It is a state of mind that will affect you like nothing before. It is a state of mind that will cause you pain and anger. It is a state of mind that will bring you unhappiness for the rest of your life if you stay in it. Each and eveytime I have become a DAD (and yes I have done it more than once) I have suffered the consequences. The good news is I am going to let you know what it is, so that you don’t make the same mistakes, so that you can live a happy life, a life filled with enlightenment, success and hope. Are you ready for the secret? Continue reading »
It’s funny how when we are young we hope that summer never ends, but once we are parents we can’t wait until it does? Now I’m not saying that summer isn’t the greatest time of the year for all of us, but I for one am ready for it to end. As a single dad summer is that one time of the year when my kids have way to much free time on their hands, and since one of them doesn’t drive, that means I am on call throughout the day. I never have wanted my kids not to be able to get to their friends or go places that they enjoy, but my daughter needs to learn that I am in the mortgage business, not a driver for the local cab service.
Again summer is a great time of year for all of us, but I really am looking forward to getting back to some sort of structure. Granted my daughter has been on a world wide tour this summer that mirrors U-2′s, but she still is very active, which makes me very crazy. Oh how I long for the upcoming school days and some sort of structure again. My son on the other hand is easy. He sleeps in until after lunch, that is on the days he is not working, and has his own car. He is what you would call low maintenance. My daughter on the other hand is calling my by 9:00 am each morning with that same line, “I am soooo bored, there is nothing to do”. Funny how when I list the chores that need to be done she isn’t quite as bored anymore. Oh how I long for the upcoming school days and some sort of structure again.
I guess that I really shouldn’t complain though. It wasn’t that long ago that I had to constantly find things for them to do, places to drop them off at (all of which cost me money), or sitters to watch them. I also believe that summer is a great way for the kids to create memories of a lifetime, recharge their batteries and remind me what it is like to still be young at heart. Summer is also a great time for all of us to warm ourselves with love, family and independence but again, Oh how I long for the upcoming school days and some sort of structure again. Continue reading »
The best way to enjoy yourself this summer is to be unstressed. How is that possible when you are a single mom or dad and you have to work, pay bills, and manage all that messy life stuff all the while wanting the kids to have a good time? I’m just like every other single mom, I don’t have all the answers, but I have found a few things that have helped me a long the way:
1. Get Organized: I know this seems like a bummer in the summer, but it helps make summer (and the rest of the year) go smoothly. Have zones or areas where things go and then GET THE KIDS WITH THE PROGRAM. (This can be a difficult at first but they catch on.) For example:
• sneakers and flip-flops go in the basket by the door, towels are hung out to dry on the patio, wet swim suits go directly in the washer.
• We have a bag that goes to the beach, another that goes to the pool. We have a plastic bag/basket with handles we got at 5 Below that hold all the goggles, snorkels, sun screen etc. We keep these things packed in the trunk of the car.
•have a small basket/caddy by the shower (easily washable) filled with soaps, shampoos, and shaving cream etc. Use and put back. This makes wiping out and cleaning the shower/tub easier.
•In the laundry have multiple baskets for whites, colors, delicates etc. Place the clothes in there as they come off so there is no sorting prior to washing. I love this tip, which comes from the Flylady. See her site for more great tips. Continue reading »