Michael

Michael Searer, a corporate executive, is the full time, single parent to three beautiful children, Austin (12), Zachary (9), and Gracie (9). Just months after his divorce, which resulted in a part-time parenting role for Michael, his former wife and mother of his children was fatally injured in an automobile accident. Michael was suddenly faced with parenting circumstances he never envisioned. However, his steadfast belief that the children's emotional and physical health were priority above all else remained the guide through his life journey. The lessons learned through parenting experiences under these difficult circumstances changed Michael's life and positively impacted his parenting perspective. Michael has recently begun writing for Single Parent Magazine, an online publication dedicated to helping single parents navigate through the journeys of parenthood. He and his family reside in Northern Alabama. Michael can be found on Facebook (michael searer) and Twitter (@MAVZ3).

Try Changing Up Your Routine.

 Posted by Michael on February 10, 2012  General  1 Response »
Feb 102012
 

Anyone who has ever read one of my blogs, knows how important I believe routine is in raising healthy children.  While I believe a stable routine is good for children, it can sometimes be unhealthy for parents.  Parents, especially single parents often find themselves stuck in a monotonous and tedious routine completely revolving around their children.  Don’t get me wrong,  monotony is not a word I word ever use to describe parenting, but our routine can become just that.

We wake up each morning and then get the kids up.  We get the kids ready for school and ourselves ready for work.  We make breakfast.  We get the kids off to school and then it’s off to work for us.  We pick the kids up from school after our work day is done.  We help with homework, cook dinner, get the kids bathed and ready for bed, tuck them in and then it’s off to bed for us.  If we are blessed, we wake up the next morning and do it all over again.  Sounds like an adrenaline junkies dream, doesn’t it?? Continue reading »

Do You Ever Forget The Small Things?

 Posted by Michael on February 3, 2012  General  No Responses »
Feb 032012
 

After I publish my Friday blog each week, I often wonder how I will come up with something to write about the next week.  At some point, it seems the ideas will run out.  What am I thinking??  This is parenting we are talking about, and the one thing parents never run out of is ideas.  Each week I know at least one of my children will say or do something that will give me plenty of topics to write about.

This week it was my youngest son on one of his adventurous sleep walking episodes.  Technically, it probably isn’t sleep walking.  He just has a habit of waking in the middle of the night, still half asleep and wandering through the house with little clue as to what he is doing.  Ask him about it the next morning and he can’t tell you what he said or did.  We have some pretty good stories from it, though.  Like the time I heard someone walking around about 2 in the morning, only to find it was my son who decided he needed to use the bathroom.  Problem was, in his sleep induced state he mistook a house plant for the toilet and proceeded to water the plant.  Again, he had no recollection of it the next morning. Continue reading »

A Letter to My Children

 Posted by Michael on January 27, 2012  General  2 Responses »
Jan 272012
 

Dear Austin, Gracie and Zachary.

I have often thought of sitting down and writing a letter to you all, but truth be told, I never felt I could adequately put the depth of my emotions in writing. Just the thought of this letter brings a tear to my eye, and I am sure by the time I am done, the tears will be flowing freely.

 

You guys have experienced more in your young lives than most people do in half a lifetime. You had to experience the divorce of your mommy and daddy. I cannot tell you how sorry I am for putting you through that. I know how hard it was and my heart ached for each of you. What I will tell you is mommy and daddy’s divorce had absolutely nothing to do with the three of you. Sometimes parents have issues which cannot be resolved, but is not caused by you and does not diminish our love for you. I know I sound like a hypocrite, but marriage is a union between God, man and wife. When you find the love of your life, hold on and do everything you can to make it last. Never enter into marriage believing that divorce is an option if things start to get rough, because they will get rough. Marriage is not easy, but it can be worth every ounce of energy you put into making it work. Continue reading »

Are You A Control Freak?

 Posted by Michael on January 20, 2012  General  No Responses »
Jan 202012
 

I am. From parent/child relationships to employer/employee relationships, I am guilty of being a controlling person. I’m not guilty of trying to control people, but rather controlling situations. If I am driving on a trip with someone, I prefer to drive. I’ll fly when needed, but prefer not to. I take on projects in my career, when they should be completed by someone else. I’m not trying to control the other driver in the car or the pilot or the employee. I’m attempting to control the situation.

If I do not have control over the situation, then I have no control over the outcome.

It’s not a good trait to have when parenting on my own. I have had it pointed out to me in the past, that I often bail my children out of situations and it has often been due to my attempt at controlling the situation. Continue reading »

Encourage When Discouraged.

 Posted by Michael on January 13, 2012  General  2 Responses »
Jan 132012
 

Every parent has said it at one point or another, “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all”. Seems like over the last few months, my mouth would be taped shut if I were to follow that mantra. Recently, I have faced several challenges and it has been difficult to keep a smile on my face at times. Problem is, these challenges will indirectly affect my children if I let them.

As single parents, we often have a bit more on our plate than the average parent. It’s easy to become stressed out and discouraged by our situations. We often find ourselves becoming more negative and focusing on the things our child hasn’t done right, rather than what they have done well.  Doing so will only discourage our children and potentially lead to more frustrating behavior.

My kids probably get tired of me saying it, but I often tell them to focus on building one another up rather than bringing each other down. I’m not always good at leading by example, especially when faced with challenges of my own. It’s a fault I acknowledge and I make a significant effort to change when possible. Continue reading »

Dating, Part II

 Posted by Michael on January 6, 2012  General  2 Responses »
Jan 062012
 

Several months ago, I wrote an article about dating and how the word “date” does not have to be considered a 4 letter word. I believe that with all my heart. Having been in a relationship the last several months, hiccups and all, I feel I am in a better position to expound a bit more on dating and some of the obstacles single parents face.

I will admit that I have done my share of dating in the 5 years I have been single. While I have dated, I have been in only 2 relationships I would consider significant. That includes my current one.

The lady I have been seeing is a wonderful person and she has opened my eyes to many things. Things I have known, but refused to acknowledge. Continue reading »

My Wish For You.

 Posted by Michael on December 23, 2011  General  2 Responses »
Dec 232011
 

As the song says, “It’s the most wonderful time of the year”. Christmas has always been my family’s favorite holiday. The kids are out of school and we get to spend a lot of time together (we drive each other crazy after the first week). We have several different traditions such as the candlelight service at our church on Christmas Eve, or going to Granny’s house afterwards and allowing the kids to open one present, knowing full well the gift they open will always be their Christmas pajamas to sleep in that night. We have many more traditions we honor during this time, but there are none more important than reminding one another of the reason for the holiday.

There are 2 topics which are a bit taboo for us to write about, religion and politics. I am going to touch on religion for just a minute. I’m giving you prior warning, so you can change the channel now if it’s going to offend your beliefs. Continue reading »

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