Lisa

Lisa Samalonis is a single parent, full-time freelance writer and college writing instructor. She is the author of www.singleparentsavings.wordpress.com

Top Five Vacation Don’ts

 Posted by Lisa on July 22, 2011  General  1 Response »
Jul 222011
 

Summer is in full swing It is blazing hot here on the East Coast. Lots of people are on vacation, returning from vacation, taking weekend road trips or planning getaways for later in the summer. As a single parent, a vacation is not always so much of a vacation if you have no one to switch off parenting responsibilities. Beach vacations are nice but often still hold the duties of cooking, and washing etc. Going with another family or members of your family (who you get along with–lol!) can help.

Here is my Top 5 Ten things You Should Not bring on vacation:

1. Too much “stuff”. We all love our creature comforts and so do our children. Sometimes we think we must bring a lot of things for them –and really aren’t we enabling them to be dependent on their things? Simplify. That said, you know my boys will not vacation without their DS’s and a handful of DVDs. These are sanity savers when I need a time-out. Continue reading »

How Not To Lose Your Cool as a Single Parent

 Posted by Lisa on July 15, 2011  Getting Your New Life In Order, How to Communicate with Your Kids, Raising Children as a Single Parent, The Craziness of Single Parenting  No Responses »
Jul 152011
 

When you are a single parent day in and day out there is no other in the adult to run interference for you. No one to come in and save the day. You can learn to save you own day and not lose your cool. Here are some suggestions:

1. Know Your Limits and Obey Them: frequently when we lose our cool as single parents it is because we have crossed the line and pushed ourselves too far. What are your limits? Are you most stressed if you are tired? Hungry? Financially Strapped? Continue reading »

7 Summer Tips for Single Parents

 Posted by Lisa on July 8, 2011  Balancing Work and Children, General, Organizing, Raising Children as a Single Parent  1 Response »
Jul 082011
 

The best way to enjoy yourself this summer is to be unstressed. How is that possible when you are a single mom or dad and you have to work, pay bills, and manage all that messy life stuff all the while wanting the kids to have a good time? I’m just like every other single mom, I don’t have all the answers, but I have found a few things that have helped me a long the way:

Child superhero standing on a washing machine and dryer

1. Get Organized: I know this seems like a bummer in the summer, but it helps make summer (and the rest of the year) go smoothly. Have zones or areas where things go and then GET THE KIDS WITH THE PROGRAM. (This can be a difficult at first but they catch on.) For example:
• sneakers and flip-flops go in the basket by the door, towels are hung out to dry on the patio, wet swim suits go directly in the washer.
• We have a bag that goes to the beach, another that goes to the pool. We have a plastic bag/basket with handles we got at 5 Below that hold all the goggles, snorkels, sun screen etc. We keep these things packed in the trunk of the car.
•have a small basket/caddy by the shower (easily washable) filled with soaps, shampoos, and shaving cream etc. Use and put back. This makes wiping out and cleaning the shower/tub easier.
•In the laundry have multiple baskets for whites, colors, delicates etc. Place the clothes in there as they come off so there is no sorting prior to washing. I love this tip, which comes from the Flylady. See her site for more great tips. Continue reading »

Breaking Through

 Posted by Lisa on July 1, 2011  General  No Responses »
Jul 012011
 

“It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know whether you can get up after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children.” -Oriah Mountain Dreamer
 
I just finished reading Liz Murray’s memoir, “Breaking Night.” I had seen the Lifetime movie from Homeless to Harvard again recently and looked up Murray on the internet. I found her recent (2010) book and read it while on vacation. I might have been feeling a tad sorry for myself when I began it, but by the end I things had shifted back into perspective.

The book reminded me of Glass Castle and while I knew many of the details of the story I enjoyed it nonetheless. Murray was basically abandoned by her parents who were drug addicts with resulting health issues. This book has stayed with me for many days.

As single parents, sometimes it is easiest to see all the things we think we are not doing right, instead of giving ourselves credit for all we do well.

Summer Challenges

 Posted by Lisa on June 17, 2011  General  No Responses »
Jun 172011
 

Summer floral decoration

Schools out. Camp doesn’t start for two weeks. Can you say AHHHHH!

There’s an interesting discussion from the other day over at the dailyworthabout the state of child care today for parents  (although it did devolve into finger pointing between parents and singles etc…). I have been a home-based writer for many years so I have got my plan under control (well, sort of), but that is not to say it is not a stressful time. Switching to the summer routine takes a change in  mindset and also time. Continue reading »

In Case of Emergency

 Posted by Lisa on June 3, 2011  General  No Responses »
Jun 032011
 

view details“Life is what happens when you are making other plans.”- John Lennon

Recently I have got to thinking about plans, life, and worst case scenarios.  I started taking an informal poll by asking parents–single and married–if they had contingency plans. I know I am very nosy–it is the reporter in me.

I started with the questions Suze O asks many of her guests: do you have a last will and testament, living will, durable power of attorney etc? If so how did you set it up? If not, why not? Also, do you have life, disability, or long-term life insurance. Are you papers currently up to date? Continue reading »

You Are Enough

 Posted by Lisa on May 20, 2011  Dealing with Divorce and Your Ex, General  1 Response »
May 202011
 

What-Every-Parent-Should-Know-About-Divorce-Video

As Oprah winds down her final season of the Oprah Winfrey show I have tuned in to catch the last week of shows. Yesterday she had on her most memorable guests from the last 25 years, including two refugees from Rwanda and also a courageous woman who while dying of cancer recorded hours and hours of video with lessons for her then small daughter to grow up with. Here message: Live in the now. The present is all we know we have for sure.

Also on the show was one of my favorite Oprah guests: M. Gary Neuman. I have written about him here before. He is the author of numerous books, including Divorce the Sandcastle Way and Connect to Love. Neuman sat down again with a single father and two children whose mother had left them. The children shared their pain and Oprah said they were most memorable because they mirrored what many children in America feel. The show highligheted the fact that while many people say “children are resilient” and ”they will be okay” parents and other loving members of the extended family must continue to reach out and listen to the children and help ease their pain. Continue reading »

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