Bruce

A Dad’s Point-of-View, by Bruce Sallan – The Ten Best From My First Hundred Columns

 Posted by Bruce on December 28, 2010  General  1 Response »
Dec 282010
 
I find it hard to believe but this is my one hundredth “A Dad’s Point-of-View” column.  How best to celebrate this milestone?  I’d like to look back at the previous 99 and choose ten strong ideas among them and briefly share them with you, by giving the title of the column and a short summary of what may be the little pearl of wisdom that came out of the 800 plus words contained within it.

1.    There’s No Such Thing as Quality Time.

I learned early on in my parenting that the often-quoted notion of “Quality Time” was bunk.  The only thing that matters to our children is “Quantity Time” since the only time they will open up is when they are good and ready. You can’t schedule time with your children the way you might with a business appointment and the moments that will surprise you the most are when you least expect it. There is no such thing as quality time, only quantity time. Continue reading »

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A Dad’s Point-of-View, by Bruce Sallan – Are the Holiday Blues Getting to You?

 Posted by Bruce on December 21, 2010  General  No Responses »
Dec 212010
 

Well, it’s another holiday season, and another Christmas and Hanukah for this blended family of religions and ethnicities, step-mom and boys, Felix and Oscar (characters from Neil Simon’s classic “The Odd Couple”), and so many other differences it makes this dad’s mind boggle.  But, there will be no blues in this family; maybe some black-and-blues, but no “blues.”

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A Dad’s Point-of-View, by Bruce Sallan – Are YOU the Only One On Time Anymore?

 Posted by Bruce on December 14, 2010  General  1 Response »
Dec 142010
 

With all the wonderful technology at our fingertips, one would think that keeping track of appointments and being on time would be easier than ever.  I suspect that punctuality is largely going the way of shame and honesty, and becoming less ubiquitous, less obligatory.  Texting that there’s traffic delaying one’s arrival is the new excuse for not leaving on time in the first place.  Is this good?  How does this affect our kids?  And, like with the relative loss of shame and honesty, how will this affect their work dealings?

I remember, during my single days, having a friend who was chronically late whenever we’d meet for a dinner and movie get-together.  I’d arrive on time and he’d just saunter in 20-30 minutes late with hardly an apology.  I think everyone has a friend like that who gets away with it because of his or her incredibly charming personality and charisma.  That was the case with “Barry.”  Barry charmed all his friends and all his friends just accepted this “quirk” of his.

Not me.  I didn’t want to lose his friendship but I came up with a solution that he readily accepted and made me feel that my time was honored and respected, as a result.  We agreed that whoever came second, if it was more than 10 minutes after the scheduled meeting time, would pick up the tab.  Voila!  I got there on time, brought reading with me (way before laptops and “smart” phones), relaxed, and when Barry showed up late, I greeted him with an enthusiastic “Hello” and proceeded to order Lobster!  Win-Win. Continue reading »

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A Dad’s Point-of-View, by Bruce Sallan – If Not Now, When?

 Posted by Bruce on December 7, 2010  Balancing Work and Children, Getting Your New Life In Order  No Responses »
Dec 072010
 

“If Not Now, When?” is a famous quote by Rabbi Hillel from about 2,000 years ago. If ever there was a timeless question this is it, especially as we enter the holiday season. It really applies to just about everything in our lives, but for the sake of staying “on point,” I am applying it to parenting.

Everyone remembers the classic Harry Chapin song, “The Cat’s in the Cradle,” which is about a dad who taught his son to be like himself–a too busy dad to make time for his son–only to learn that lesson himself, when he was on the receiving end of his son’s unavailability. Can you listen to that song without tearing up? I can’t.

There are so many touching lyrics in his song but the following always gets me the most, “Son, I’m proud of you, can you sit for a while? He shook his head and said with a smile, what I’d really like, Dad, is to borrow the car keys. See you later, can I have them please?” Continue reading »

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A Dad’s Point-of-View – How Can Our Kids Ever Say They’re Bored

 Posted by Bruce on November 30, 2010  How to Communicate with Your Kids  No Responses »
Nov 302010
 

A recent George Will column, “Lost In Electronica,” started me  thinking about how often kids says they’re bored. “Are you kidding me,” said in my best Robert DeNiro accent!  If anything, I find there aren’t enough hours in the day for me to begin to do all that I want to do.

But, it’s evidently a fact that many in this current generation are often bored, even with all that is available at their fingertips.  Of course, every child doesn’t have access to all our current high-tech devices, but most libraries do have computer “labs.”  Why is boredom more prevalent today?  My first answer is MTV.  Yes, MTV, which if you’ve forgotten stands for “Music Television.”  When it began, in August of 1981, it ushered in a whole new world of fast-cutting short videos.

Until MTV, most videos that our children saw were in the form of television programs–1/2-hour sitcoms and 1-hour dramas–and movies which were anywhere from about 80 minutes, on the shorter side (usually comedies and animated films), to close to three-hours for the epics (like “Titanic”). MTV changed all that by providing little mini-movies, the length of songs, that were also produced and edited in a brand-new style–fast-cutting imagery in which the camera almost never lingered on one image for long. Continue reading »

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A Dad’s Point-of-View, by Bruce Sallan – What Does Thanksgiving Mean?

 Posted by Bruce on November 23, 2010  General  No Responses »
Nov 232010
 

A Dad’s Point-of-View, by Bruce Sallan

Thanksgiving Means Thanks and Giving

I love Thanksgiving because it’s a holiday that transcends all religions, all cultures, and all ethnicities. It’s about the basic notion of “giving thanks” and it’s really become a holiday that everyone loves.

First, there’s the food. Second, there’s the food. Did I mention the food? How about the turkey? The yams? The stuffing? And, my favorite: pumpkin pie. Ahhhh. Need I say more?

I believe that gratitude is the major ingredient to happiness, and I learned this from Dennis Prager, the talk-show host, columnist, and author. So, on this Thanksgiving, I’m going to share with you just a few of the many things that I’m grateful for, and some that I’ve solicited from my readers, Facebook and Twitter friends, and Radio Show listeners. Finally, I will share quotes from those famous and not so famous, that I found on the Internet. Continue reading »

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A Dad’s Point-of-View – Support Your Kid’s Passions

 Posted by Bruce on November 16, 2010  General, Teenagers  1 Response »
Nov 162010
 

Support Your Kid’s Passions

All parents hope to nurture the talents of their children, but usually they hope it’s a talent they share or one they’d always dreamed of for themselves. This is often a first test for a parent. It sure was for me. I expected that with two boys, I’d be coaching them in all the intricacies of every sport I loved. Instead, with my oldest, I was left coaching the baseball team after he quit it.

Fortunately, I began supporting their passions, and it provided equal joy for me, less stress for them, and ultimately made for a happier home. My oldest pursued music, specifically rock ‘n’ roll, with a vengeance upon getting a $99 electric guitar as a birthday present.

My youngest demonstrated artistic ability from his crib, when he carved Michelangelo’s “David” in one of the four posts with his nails. Okay, I’ve exaggerated slightly. It was just a detailed Greek column. Continue reading »

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