Sep 192012
 


I am asked often, in light of my less-than-shining past, how on earth did you find a good, Christian man like your husband? I told myself many of the things that some of you may be telling yourself.

 ”No good man would ever want me with all the mistakes I have made.”  “What man would want a ready-made family?”

 In fact, I had convinced myself that I would never find a good Christian man that met my criteria (you know, the tough stuff like having a job, a car, a desire to achieve, good-looking).

I recently spoke to a group of single women and share my take on how to find a Godly man. Here are the two questions to consider:

  1. Start by asking yourself, “Do I want a godly man or do I just want a man?”
  2. Can I CHANGE him into a Christian? You can’t. And no, you have not been “called” to lead him to Christ, so that he can one day be your husband, so stop telling yourself as much.  

Once you have gotten those two questions out of the way, here’s what you need to know to move on:

  1. Be a godly woman. Your future Christian husband is not looking for his wife at the local bar, falling down drunk, with her boobs hanging out. Start thinking about what it is that you want in a man and start portraying it in your own life. Where in the Bible does it give instruction on being a godly woman? Proverbs 31!

    - Proverbs 31:11 – “Her husband can trust her and she will greatly enrich his life.” Enrich means “to add to”. You cannot add to a man’s life when you are looking to take from him. You cannot be on the hunt for a man to father your kids, to pay your bills, or to complete you.

    - Proverbs 31:25 “She is clothed with strength and dignity….When she speaks her words are wise.” How does a woman with strength and dignity carry herself? (no short skirts, no boobs out) If you are in the middle of Walmart cussing your child, are you using wise words? Does that attract a man?

  2. Be wise. Be familiar with God’s word.

    Proverbs 24:3 “A house is built by wisdom and becomes strong through good sense.”

    Proverbs 24:12 “Don’t excuse yourself by saying, ‘Look, we didn’t know.’ For God understands all hearts, and he sees you. He who guards your soul knows what you knew. He will repay all people as their actions deserve.” DO NOT SAY YOU DIDN’T KNOW IT WAS WRONG TO HAVE SEX WITH THIS MAN OUTSIDE OF MARRIAGE OR WRONG TO CUSS OR WRONG TO DRESS INAPPROPRIATELY. DO NOT SAY, “I DIDN’T KNOW” WHEN YOUR MAN SLEEPS AROUND, SELLS DRUGS, OR ISNT GODLY. DO NOT COMPROMISE.

  3. Don’t be in a hurry.

    Ecclesiastes 3:1 “For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under the sun.”

    Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. They are plans for good and not disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”

Jennifer Maggio is a leading authority on single parents’ and womens’ issues. She is founder of The Life of a Single Mom Ministries and an award-winning author and speaker. She founded Overwhelmed: The Single Moms Magazine and has been featured in hundreds of media venues and women’s conferences. For more information, visit http://www.thelifeofasinglemom.com.


Jennifer

Jennifer Maggio is considered one of the nation's leading experts on single parent issues. She is a sought-after speaker and critically-acclaimed author who has appeared on more than 100 radio & television shows. She is founder of the national nonprofit, The Life of a Single Mom Ministries. She has written for dozens of magazines and is currently a columnist for Single Parents Town, BizyMoms, and Halo Magazine. For more information, visit www.jennifermaggio.com .

  15 Responses to “How to Find a Christian Man by Jennifer Maggio”


  1. I imagine this works for finding a good women too… but what I'm missing is the "where" part, online dating is lampooned for a reason, and once you are a single parent, well, for me anyway, my social circle and outings don't often involve a bunch of 'meet and greet' :-/


    • Agreed


    • I agree with you Durante and Jennifer really didn't answer the question. I have been to a few weddings where the couple met on line! So don't give up it can be a great way to meet God's best for you, you may just have to go on a lot of dates first! Cheers.


    • "Where" is an issue for all of us, I think… in this day and time, everyone lives in "their own little world" of… home (with kids), commuting ( to and from work alone in a car ), work (with the same people every day) and even church (with the same people every week) … (at least that's my situation) and with chidren, and the only living child of an aging mother, I do not have much, if any, opportunity to "meet and greet" anyone either. I've put it in God's hands that I'm where He wants me to be right now, my childrens' only mother and my mother's only child. I am content, busy and happy in those relationships and with my relationship with my Lord. If and/or when God brings someone into my life romantically or things are in a different season, then I'll be open to that, but as for now, I am fulfilled focusing on serving others and God. When we ask God what HIS purpose and plan for us is… and follow it, we always will be on the right and joyful path. "Delight yourselves in the ways of the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart!" Psalm 37:4 If we are serving God, out there doing things to serve others, He can place other people in our paths that have a heart for Him also… now that's a meet and greet that's a match made in heaven ;) Trust God for your future… He's already there and has already written the end of the book


  2. The stuff I've been through and the luck I have with guys, sometimes I think I'm not good enough to be with anyone cause the way I've gotten treated in my last two marriages, especially this last one. I would love to find a good man that is Christian and has kids or good with kids, cause I have two kids of my own. Yes dating sites are not 100% great to be finding anyone. I'm just hoping God will send a good christian guy my way!


  3. I'd like to know just how long you were actually a single mother for Jennifer? I maybe wrong, but perhaps not that long?
    This advice on how to find a Godly husband was very patronizing and lacked much depth. It is quite typical of the statements other married Christian women make when they don't really understand the journey, and often long journey, of single mums/dads longing to meet Gods best in a partner. Many, and probably most of us single women (and men) are waiting patiently with clothes in tact, sober, drug free, celibate, well presented, however far from perfect, for God's choice in a partner! I think what you have written may be advice for individuals that have not come to Christ yet, or perhaps needs some significant discipleship in the foundation of the Christian faith. I love Proverbs 31 also, but what women really lives up to that all the time? The article indicated that we have to be perfect or very close to, to even get a remote chance of finding a husband. One more thing, you failed to answer the question – how to find a Godly partner??? Feel free to respond Jennifer.


  4. Jennifer great advice to equip us to help us do the work of the ministry Eph 4:12. I gives us some golden nuggets to build on to help others


  5. Hi Jennifer! Thanks for sharing your thoughts. They are imperatives that oftentimes are taken for granted. I hope you will continue to write articles that will advise women on how to find godly man. I am actually looking for one. Though I’m quite late in getting married, I decided not to hurry because I want to get the best prepared for me by God. Please write something on how get close to godly man; what a woman can do to know him better and build close tie with him.


  6. I have prayed and waited for a Godly man who is going to help me also in the the ministry God has given me to serve. Thanks for the advice.so i will keep praying


  7. So what you are really saying is. "You can't find a single, Christian man. Perhaps if you are good enough, God will send one to you."


  8. The article was not very deep and not very encouraging at all. I think Lizzy Eden just nailed it! Thank you Lizzy!


  9. Ian 55divorced I still have not found my Christian husband I don't think its oing to happen feel so alone my daughter has a brain injury, I raise her19 month old son I wonder why and when if god wants me alone? Can't call it


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