How Do You Do It?

 Posted by Michael on December 16, 2011  General  No Responses »
Dec 162011
 

If there is one question I am asked over and over, it’s “how do you do it?”. Being a single parent is not easy. Knowing that you are 100% responsible for the health (emotional, physical and spiritual) of your children, along with teaching them strong morals, values, responsibility, self-discipline and how to love can be overwhelming. That doesn’t even mention the day to day activities such as getting them to extracurricular activities, homework, cooking, doctor’s appointments, teacher’s conferences and a million other things we must do. Oh, and the financial responsibility is huge.

To me, the most important thing a single parent can do to make their life and the lives of their children work well is, to create a stable routine and not vary from it. Continue reading »

Sex and the Single Mom by Jennifer Maggio

 Posted by Jennifer on December 14, 2011  General  8 Responses »
Dec 142011
 

 I’ve been writing at Single Parents Town for over a year now and this article has received the most hits, by far.  Since I vehemently believe every word of it, I thought I’d finish up 2011 with it. Here goes:

Yep, I’m going there.  There’s no sense in pretending the subject does not exist, so…  buckle up. 

I recently came across a website that INFURIATED me.  In fact, that is probably a serious understatement.  Since my life’s passion is single moms, I am always researching single parent topics.  I happened upon an article regarding sex and singles.  I would not dare give you the name of the site, because I will not give them the satisfaction of multiple hits.  But here is what the meat of the article said, loosely translated, Continue reading »

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Beautiful Is NOT a Number

 Posted by Michele on December 13, 2011  General  No Responses »
Dec 132011
 

 

True beauty is when one can walk into a room with strength, grace and love believing that it is not the reflection in the mirror that matters most but instead it is the reflection of one’s heart.… Michele DeVille

Glamour magazine posted a picture of Lizzie Miller in the September issue and it was a picture that sparked hundreds of letters. The photo of Miller who is a size 12 – 14 created a stir and was long overdue in the hearts and minds of women and men. I thought it was great and reposted to my wall on Facebook. Most people seemed to agree that it was great and that the photo of Miller was beautiful and represented “real” women but I must say that I was deeply saddened at a couple of the comments that were made. I was reminded that beauty is often in the eye of the beholder and like most things in life, people have opinions and people will judge. Unfortunately, words, opinions and judgement can be harsh and can destroy lives. Words can cut deep and leave scars that last a lifetime.

Unfortunately, we live in a society that is driven by the “appearance” of things and often times we are held to the expectations of what the world deems to be acceptable when it comes to anything and everything that is outside of ourselves. Weight and clothes size always seem to stand at the front of the line. It is impossible to go anywhere without a constant assault from the media showering us with images of what is  considered to be perfect or beautiful. It sends messages to people that we are not good enough and the pressure is on to do more, be better or to change who we are to try and fit in. The result? People are in a perpetual state of trying to reach a bar that has been set unrealistically high and is impossible to attain. Continue reading »

“With Everything That Has Happened To You, You Can Either Feel Sorry For Yourself, or Treat What Happened To You As A Gift”

 Posted by Bill on December 12, 2011  How to Communicate with Your Kids, Raising Children as a Single Parent, Taking Time for Yourself  No Responses »
Dec 122011
 

 

“With everything that happened to you, you can either feel sorry for yourself or treat what happened as a gift. Everything is either an opportunity to grow or an obstacle to keep you from growing. You get to choose.” Wayne Dyer

Over the years I have reflected back on this quote on more than one occasion. I have even sometimes wondered if the author was a single parent. During the past nine years I have been through living with an addictive wife, a broken marriage, interventions, rehab. centers, a separation, a divorce, the death of my children’s mother, the death of their grandmother, the executor of two estates, an IRS audit (which I won), a failing business, the meltdown of my investments in the stock market, a depreciating home value, raising my children on my own 24/7, dealing with their grief, anxiety and fear issues while wondering when, or if, it will ever stop? So again I say to myself:

“With everything that happened to you, you can either feel sorry for yourself or treat what happened as a gift. Everything is either an opportunity to grow or an obstacle to keep you from growing. You get to choose.” Continue reading »

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“Merry Christmas, Single Parents” by Jennifer Maggio

 Posted by Jennifer on December 7, 2011  General  1 Response »
Dec 072011
 

As usual, the hustle and bustle of the holiday season has me busy as can be.  But as I sit here and write to you today, I am urgently impressed to tell you how important it is to celebrate the joy of this season — not the shopping, not the “Who’s present is most expensive”.  Enjoy your family.  Maybe your family is only you and a five-year-old daughter and the holidays seem so bleak, because not only do you not have the money to buy her everything you would like, but the two of you will be sitting alone on Christmas day.

I have some really great news for you.  You won’t be alone.  You’ll have each other!  I remember a particularly lonely Christmas a few years ago, when my then, very young children and I were opening Christmas presents alone, yet again.  I cooked breakfast and stared out the window of my small apartment most of the morning.  I was depressed beyond belief.  Then, I had an epiphany.  I can allow the rest of my Christmas day to be bleak, dreary, and depressing or I can DECIDE to have a great day with those two beautiful children I was blessed with.  I chose the latter.  I hurriedly jumped from the chair, went to the kitchen, and prepared a Christmas feast for the three of us (my favorite part of the season)!

I don’t remember much from that day, but I remember sitting at my kitchen table with my precious little ones, as they giggled about what toys they had received, and about how “yucky” the chicken was.  It was priceless! Continue reading »

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Don’t Settle!

 Posted by Michele on December 5, 2011  General  1 Response »
Dec 052011
 

When I look back on my life I can identify many times over the years that I have settled for less than what I wanted or less than what I deserved. While there were many reasons for settling at the time, there are far more times that I regret having settled versus waiting for what I truly wanted. In talking to people over the years, it seems that I am not alone. We live in a society that despite pressures to have the best and to be the best, we often times settle for less. So the question is WHY?

Life is incredibly busy and it can be incredibly stressful. We live in a state of constant chaos and under the guise that we need to keep up with the expectations of everyone and everything outside of ourselves. The result? We lose sight of who we are and what we truly want. People fall prey to the need for immediate gratification and we often times get lured into the false belief that if we don’t take what is in front of us in the moment we will lose the chance to ever have it again. We convince ourselves that while it might not be perfect it is the best we can get so we had better grab it while we can. Perhaps it is buying a home, accepting a job, selecting a school or finding a mate. Whatever the situation might be it is common for people to settle for something or someone less than what they truly wanted or even deserved.

People sometimes struggle with low self-esteem and stop believing that they deserve more in life. They believe that they do not deserve certain things and therefore settle for less than what they truly wanted. Dreams are sacrificed and fear steps in. We under value our self-worth, beat ourselves up and no longer have the confidence to go after what we want. We stop taking risks and settle for what feels safe or we get stuck in our comfort zones. This can leave people feeling stuck, frustrated, dissatisfied and drowning in the question of what if? The power of self-doubt steps in and the voices in our heads become very good at convincing us that we can’t do something and we fear failure and what others might think. Continue reading »

Who Are These Voices In My Head, And Why Can’t They All Just Get Along?

 Posted by Bill on December 4, 2011  General  No Responses »
Dec 042011
 

Have you ever felt as if you had other voices running around in your head telling you what to do? Have you ever felt as if those other voices in your head are constantly reminding you of what you do wrong, more than reminding you of what you do right? Do you ever wonder why all of those other voices in your head are in essence mini images of yourself? I know I sure do, at least I think I do. Maybe I do, maybe I don’t.  Oh hell, I don’t know what I think.

Now before you start to worry that maybe it’s time for me to seek professional help, and God knows it would be justified since I am raising two teenagers, stop and ask yourself if those other voices in your head are really defining who you are as a parent.  Parenting is a very confusing experience for all of us. It’s never right and it’s never wrong. It’s never black and it’s never white. There are times when I am convinced that I am doing the right thing, and then there are those times when I have no idea what I am doing. There are times when I feel guilty with the choices I make, and then there other times when I am proud of the choices I made. There are times when I rely on others for advice, and then there are times when I just wing it. There are times when I know that I should of handled the situation different, and there are times when I question how I ever made the right decision.

The problem for me is that each of my good decisions, each of my bad decisions, and each of my choices as a parent, seem to have their own little voice in my mind. There are times when I know that I made the right choice in dealing with my kids, but for some reason that voice never seems to speak up very loud. Then there are times when I know that I have made the wrong choice, only to have that voice scream  loud and clear at me. I have learned over the years that regardless of which little voice in my head is screaming the loudest, I need to remind myself that it is only one voice. Continue reading »

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