This month is the 5 year anniversary of my ex-wife’s accident and subsequent death. It can be a bittersweet time of year. On one hand, it is the time of year we give thanks for all we have been blessed with. On the other hand, it is difficult not to think of where we were and what we were doing for that 2 week period 5 years ago. More than anything else, I reflect on how far my children have come in that time, and how I have adjusted.
I really struggled adjusting to becoming a single parent for the first year and a half. It was a period of trial and error (mostly error on my part). I often reflect on what I could have done differently and how I can keep from making those same mistakes again. A topic I often fall back on is my expectations of my children.
My twins were a few months shy of turning 5 and my oldest son was half a year away from turning 8 when their mother died. As I adjusted to being a fulltime, single parent, I seem to expect my children to act like adults. I don’t mean I expected them to handle the loss of their mother like an adult, but rather the level of responsibility I bestowed upon them. In hindsight, I realize this was a result of my own weaknesses in adjusting to the new normal we found ourselves living.