I want to share a quote with you. I cannot remember where I got it so if someone wants to claim it…feel free.
“Integrity – it takes openness to achieve authenticity – to be able to say to yourself and to the world, ‘LIKE IT OR NOT, THIS IS WHO I AM!’ and then live that truth. Once we accept our humanity, integrity is not difficult at all.”
That totally speaks to me…doesn’t it you? Continue reading »
1). Enjoy your season. You’ve heard me say it before and you’ll hear me say it again and again. How many parents look back when their children adults and say, “I spent WAY too much time with my son. I wish we had not had all that quality time, laughing and talking.” Enjoy what God has given you today — not focusing on what you don’t have.
2). Parent effectively. Don’t make excuses. Your parenting will, at least in part, determine how your children behave as adults, so get to it!
3). Create traditions with your family. Maybe your “family” is just yourself and your little one, right now. Don’t let that deter you from creating fun traditions in your home. Maybe your tradition can be cooking Saturday breakfast together or taking walks in your neighborhood on Sunday afternoons. There are hundreds of ways you can create traditions and further strengthen your relationship with your children, no matter their age. Continue reading »
Revenge is a ricochet from the heart – the more we try to hurt another the more we ultimately hurt ourselves….. Michele DeVille
While there are endless topics to write about each week I often find myself drawn to the topic of forgiveness and letting go because I truly believe it is one of the hardest things that people must face and try to do in this journey called life. I also believe it is one of the things that can cause endless issues in our lives and often stands in the way of people living in happiness, achieving their dreams and finding peace. It does not matter if it is forgiving others or forgiving ourselves; either way forgiving lies at the foundation of living a life bathed in joy versus one of constant distress. While forgiving ourselves has its own set of complexities the inability to forgive another can create emotions that can eat away at our souls and lead even the kindest of hearts to a dead-end street: the street of REVENGE.
One of the many definitions of revenge states that Revenge is a harmful action against a person or group in response to a grievance, be it real or perceived. It is also called payback, retribution, retaliation or vengeance; it may be characterized, justly or unjustly, as a form of justice. Often times definitions seem clinical and in the end they do not capture the raw emotions that can come with the feelings of wanting revenge or to get even with another. Unfortunately, we as human beings hurt each other and as good of intentions as we have it is sometimes what we do. So the question is not if you have ever been hurt by another but have you ever wanted to get even, seek revenge or become obsessed with hurting another back? Continue reading »
I often get calls and emails from people, who are married, telling me that they are just like a single parent. Or in other words, that they are just like me. That they do all the household work, that they care for the kids, that they pay the bills, that they manage everyone’s schedules, that they feel as if the world is on their shoulders, that they are just like a single parent or again, that they are just like me. I always bite my tongue and listen, because although they believe to know what my life is like, in reality they are not, just like a single parent. You may be an enabler but you are NOT just like a single parent. You either are, or you are not, a single parent. You can not be half pregnant, you can not be half alive, and you definitely can not be a single parent, unless you are one.
I often say that I love being a single dad but in reality that is probably not true. I love being a dad, I love raising my children and I love being there for them but it sure would be easier if I had a little help every now and then. Not just help with making meals, or getting the kids places, but emotional help, the mental help, the financial help, and the support that I myself so often need. You see, for all of you that think you are just like a single parent, you still have someone coming home to the family at night. Someone who is there to listen to your problems, someone who can provide another perspective on how to best raise the kids, someone to deal with their issues, someone to help with the carpools, the sporting events and the stress of just being a parent.
We single parents, more time than not, don’t have this. Oh I am sure that in many cases the other non custodial parent does their part. After all I am speaking to both of you here, but has that always worked out for you the way you planned it? Married couples do have this. We single parents are left to go it alone 24/7 not just from 8 to 5 each day. Continue reading »
I wrote this blog last year.
It still says it all…except I’m not cooking this year.
I thought all week about how my blog should be about Thanksgiving on some level because it will be posted on…Thanksgiving. Then I thought about how everyone is being bombarded with a Thanksgiving message of some sort and it does get old. You know it too. I am not a big holiday person. I think if we are thankful and giving everyday, why do we need these big holidays that cause pain, strife, and gorging for people. After all, the holiday season is when we gain at least 10 pounds and has the highest incidence of suicide. Clearly, something is not jiving. And…it really is all about marketing but that is just my opinion. Don’t get me wrong, I do play along as I sit here writing my blog as my eggs are boiling, my cheese cake is baking, and my turkey is marinading.
With all that being said, I came up with my topic for this week while I was cleaning house. I have my best epiphanies during this dreaded activity. I was thinking about how out of sorts I have been lately and feeling a bit defeated. I also thought about other couples in my life where one has been able to move on and the other…not so much…even after many years (see below). That led me to people just being upset with people in general and it came down to what I have learned over and over…there is no upset without blame!
Darn it all! Continue reading »
It’s Thanksgiving, so I have to join in with all the other bloggers out there and list my most-thankful-for’s! I am most thankful for:
#1) Living a life in total freedom through Christ.
#2) My loving, adoring husband that I was certain I would never find (and who definitely wouldn’t want me when I found him). Continue reading »
The past can be a difficult thing to accept but one’s past does not have to define who you are but rather it can serve as a reflection of who you were at the time and a stepping stone towards the beautiful person you were always meant to be…. Michele DeVille
Forgiving others can be difficult and can keep people stuck in life but what about forgiveness when it is learning to forgive oneself and letting go of the mistakes of the past? In talking to others and in looking at my own life, forgiving ourselves is truly one of the biggest challenges most people face at some point. Why? Needing to forgive ourselves means that we must face the hard truth and accept that we potentially did something wrong. Forgiving ourselves becomes a challenge because we often assign a label to ourselves and our identity becomes entangled with what we did versus who we really are.
Mistakes made often embed in our hearts and our minds leaving people to struggle with low self-worth, low self-esteem and in turn we stop believing in ourselves. It is hard to love ourselves and we become very good at repeatedly beating ourselves up and unfortunately the end result is that we sometimes go back to the patterns or coping mechanisms that caused the pain and mistakes in the first place. It becomes a vicious cycle if we cannot forgive ourselves and let go of the past. Continue reading »