I was at a funeral this evening in my hometown to both mourn the loss and to honor and celebrate the life of a wonderful man that was taken from his family too soon. He was a husband, father, grandfather, son, brother, uncle and friend and based on the many people that showed up to pay tribute it was obvious how much he was loved. The funeral was at the same church that held funeral services for my first husband, my dad, grandparents, great-grandparents and friends and just being there stirred up many emotions for my family and I as it has so many times before. It is hard for my daughters to go to funerals and even harder to go there knowing there dad is buried in the cemetery right next to the church but they go and offer love and support knowing all too well how painful loss can be.
Driving home I could not stop thinking about loss and how it impacts each and every one of us throughout our lives. When we think of loss we automatically think about losing a loved one in death and the loss of a loved one is without a doubt one of the biggest losses any of us must face in life. Death is an intruder of sorts and it often times barges in on our lives without warning leaving a trail of pain, sadness, shock, anger and guilt when it does. Losing a loved one is tough and whether it is a sudden tragedy or an extended illness it is never easy to say goodbye. Loss of a loved one is by far one of the toughest and most devastating losses any of us will face.
But what about all of the other losses that drop in and turn our lives upside down? If you think about it loss is everywhere and whether it is a big loss or what could be considered to be a small loss lives can change and the grieving process is much the same. When I truly thought about loss the list grew quickly and I am sure I am missing a few: loss of a marriage, loss of a home, loss of a job, loss of a relationship, loss of identity, loss of a pet, loss of health, loss of your mind, loss of freedom, loss of financial security, loss of a friendship, loss of parenting when your children move out, loss of sight, loss of hearing, loss of the ability to walk, loss of a dream, loss of driving, loss of a breast, loss of sexuality, loss of pregnancy, loss of respect, loss of trust, loss of beauty, loss of youth and of course loss of life. This is just a partial list but the point I’m trying to make is that loss surrounds us and permeates into the walls of our lives far more often than we realize. Continue reading »
Today’s post is a simple litmus test on your parenting. I have discovered than in my busiest times of life, I must frequently evaluate my priorities. Raising children is a season of life, a brief moment of time that will quickly end, and I don’t want to look back on the coulda, shoulda, woulda’s of child-rearing. Here are some questions I ask myself that may also be helpful to you:
My mother was killed very unexpectedly when I was only a year old. It was a Sunday morning and she loaded me into our car to head for church, as she had many mornings prior. She sang and played piano, so I am sure we were headed out early. She drove down our long driveway and into the street. She proceeded less than a mile down our street and BAM! — a drunk teenage driver hit our car, knocking us into a tree. She was killed instantly.