This past Sunday I tried a new church and the Senior Pastor’s message was in part about loneliness. This stirred up many thoughts in my head and heart as this is something I have been struggling with lately. There have been a lot of changes in my life (again) and as I have been adjusting and trying to determine who Michele is at this stage in life, I have felt very lonely at times. The message on Sunday and my own personal journey truly got me thinking about the topic of loneliness and how it truly impacts everyone. Just like forgiveness, loneliness is very real and it will introduce itself to you whether you want it to or not.
It is amazing to me just how lonely we can sometimes feel and there are times that it does not seem to matter whether you are super busy or have tons of people surrounding you. If we are truly honest with ourselves, how many times have you felt lonely despite how busy you were at work, with the kids or at school? How many times have you felt lonely despite the fact there were a bunch of emails, texts and voicemails from friends, family and colleagues? How many times have you felt lonely while at a holiday party, a meeting or a family function? Have you felt lonely in your relationship even though you are together all the time?
The truth of the matter is that loneliness can creep into our lives regardless of where we are, who we are with or what we are doing. Loneliness comes from within and it can leave a person feeling sad, depressed, empty and lost. We somehow feel like we don’t fit in, belong or have any significance or purpose when loneliness seeps into our hearts. Loneliness can lead to self-sabotage and it can lead a person to try and fill the holes with the very things that hurt us the most.
The good news is that loneliness does not have to run your life and there are many things that you can do to live a full life and escape the grip of loneliness when it shows up and tries to pull you off your path and away from peace and happiness.
♥ Remember – there is a difference between being alone and feeling lonely. Sometimes it is good to hang out with yourself for awhile and learn to fall in love with ALL of who you are. It is far easier to truly love and spend time with others when you can love and spend time with yourself.
♥ If your emotional bank account is empty and your heart is filled with holes due to the wounds life can inflict be aware of what you are plugging those holes with. Turning to unhealthy or destructive behaviors will only make the holes in your heart bigger and you will feel lonelier than ever before. Find things in life that make you feel good, are healthy for you and bring you love and joy!
♥ Forgiveness and loneliness sometimes hold hands and if you are struggling with one you can usually find the other close by. If you are struggling with forgiving someone or forgiving yourself find a way to let go and move on. The inability to forgive can be a very lonely place.
♥ Don’t wait for others to reach out first. If you are feeling lonely, pick up the phone and call someone. Just as the song below, “Lean On Me” says, “lean on me when your not strong, I’ll be your friend I’ll help you carry on”….
♥ It is easy to feel sorry for ourselves and become stuck in a place we do not want to be when we feel lonely. Get up and get out! Go do something, surround yourself with other people and make an effort to connect. We all need to connect with others in life – God did not create man or woman to be alone.
♥ Take a hard and honest look at the people in your life. Who is on your home team? Are the people that you consider to be loved ones, friends and family truly there for you and do they have your best interests at heart? Remember- the people you want on your home team are the people you can count on in good times and in bad and they are the people that love you even when they know everything about you. Choose your team carefully and separate yourself from those people that bring negativity and pain to your life.
♥ Never forget that you are significant and that you matter. You have a purpose in this life and it is up to you to find it and make your dreams come true. People feel far less lonely when they are living a purpose driven life!
♥ Don’t ever give up. Life can be incredibly hard but there is always hope and there is always faith. It is easy to feel despair when one feels lonely but it is sometimes when things feel the hardest and loneliest that we need to find our strength and persevere.
♥ If you are in a situation that is constantly causing you pain, sadness, hurt or to feel lonely it is sometimes best to let it go or walk away. Everyone deserves happiness and to feel loved and special.
♥ You are never truly alone. It may sometimes feel like it and you may sometimes feel so lonely it hurts but there is always someone out there that loves you, cares about you and wants to be there for you. You would do the same…..
♥ Even in the loneliest and darkest of times – GOD LOVES YOU!
Loneliness is not prejudice to anyone. Regardless of your age, race, gender, culture, job, marital status, income or where you live loneliness will find you. I love the song “Lean On Me’ for it is a beautiful reminder that we can always lean on each other even on the loneliest of days. If you are feeling lonely today remember that there is always someone that loves you and there are always brighter and better days ahead. In the meantime, marinate with yourself for awhile and learn to fall in love with who you are. You may love the person you find and life might not be so lonely after all….
In Peace-
Michele
