I Created This Beast…

 Posted by Davis on September 29, 2011  General  No Responses »
Sep 292011
 

I love my girls.

I love my ex husband.

I also love having a little time to myself.

As time has gone on I get less and less. As the girls have become teenagers and the fact my ex lives an hour away, the less they like to go to his house and linger around mine.

I understand this. As a teenage girl, I would not like to spend my weekends out in the middle of nowhere. We can all get on our soap box and say, “That’s too bad, they need to spend time with their father.” And…I agree. They have NOT spent enough time with their father over the last few years. But that is between him and the girls.

What is between me and them is this…I NEED JUST A LITTLE TIME TO HAND OVER SOME RESPONSIBILITY TO THEIR FATHER ON HIS WEEKENDS. I need just a little time to breathe. Continue reading »

Who Is On Your Home Team?

 Posted by Michele on September 26, 2011  General  No Responses »
Sep 262011
 

This past Sunday I tried a new church and the Senior Pastor’s message was in part about loneliness. This stirred up many thoughts in my head and heart as this is something I have been struggling with lately. There have been a lot of changes in my life (again) and as I have been adjusting and trying to determine who Michele is at this stage in life, I have felt very lonely at times. The message on Sunday and my own personal journey truly got me thinking about the topic of loneliness and how it truly impacts everyone. Just like forgiveness, loneliness is very real and it will introduce itself to you whether you want it to or not.

It is amazing to me just how lonely we can sometimes feel and there are times that it does not seem to matter whether you are super busy or have tons of people surrounding you. If we are truly honest with ourselves, how many times have you felt lonely despite how busy you were at work, with the kids or at school? How many times have you felt lonely despite the fact there were a bunch of emails, texts and voicemails from friends, family and colleagues? How many times have you felt lonely while at a holiday party, a meeting or a family function? Have you felt lonely in your relationship even though you are together all the time?

The truth of the matter is that loneliness can creep into our lives regardless of where we are, who we are with or what we are doing. Loneliness comes from within and it can leave a person feeling sad, depressed, empty and lost. We somehow feel like we don’t fit in, belong or have any significance or purpose when loneliness seeps into our hearts. Loneliness can lead to self-sabotage and it can lead a person to try and fill the holes with the very things that hurt us the most. Continue reading »

How Is Your Train Ride Going?

 Posted by Bill on September 26, 2011  Dealing with Divorce and Your Ex, General, Raising Children as a Single Parent, The Craziness of Single Parenting  No Responses »
Sep 262011
 

I wrote this blog sometime back and wanted to repost it for all of you. Life is funny how it moves forward, sometimes to fast and sometimes to slow, but rest assured it will continue to move forward. I hope that this blog today helps you understand that life is like a train ride and only you have the pleasure of being on the entire ride from start to finish. Have an amazing day everyone…

Someone once told me that life is like taking a train ride. The unique part about it is that from start to finish, you and only you, will be the only one on the entire ride.  Oh sure others will join you for part of your ride, but again you and only you, will be the only one on the entire ride. The ride usually starts off slowly and calmly, but before you know it the train picks up speed and you seem to be flying along faster than you might be comfortable with. There will be twists and turns, peaks and valleys, happiness and sadness along the way, but again you and only you, will be the only one on the entire ride.  The train will occasionally stop along the way and others will join you, but again you and only you, will be the only one on the entire ride.

I often have thought about the times on the ride, where we knew that we were about to enter a dark tunnel, and just couldn’t seem to do anything about it. It’s just part of our ride. Once in the tunnel darkness consumes us, and depending upon the length of the tunnel, our fear of disaster is heightened. We worry that our ride is about to turn into a train wreck. What I have learned on my ride, especially during those trips into darkness, is that we always come out of the tunnel to the light again. I have also learned that since I will surly exit the tunnel intact, I sure as the heck want to make sure that I don’t do anything, while in the darkness, that I will be embarrassed for, ashamed of or regret once I come out of the tunnel. I want to approach each and every dark tunnel with confidence, hope and dignity because again, I will exit the tunnel, and I and only I, will be the only one on the entire ride. Continue reading »

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Boundaries and Grandparents.

 Posted by Michael on September 23, 2011  General  1 Response »
Sep 232011
 

My parents live 700 miles away from me and I have no family closer than that. My deceased ex-wife’s mother lives only a few miles from us and is a big part of my children’s lives. It can be very helpful at times, but also very trying. Truth be told, she and I have never had a very “warm and fuzzy” relationship and since the loss of her daughter, additional stessors have been added to the equation. Not least of which are the differences in our parenting styles.

Often times, our parents believe because they have already raised a child or children, they know what is best for our own children. We can definitely learn from our parents, but they do not know our own children better than we do and should not attempt to enforce their parenting skills on our children without the parent’s consent.

You must set expectations and communicate them clearly to the grandparents. Let’s face it, few of us raise our children in the manner our parents raised us or their parents raised them. We have significant generational gaps and how we parent is affected by these gaps. It is not fair to the grandparents or our children, if we do not clearly communicate our expectations to them. Continue reading »

I Created This Beast…

 Posted by Davis on September 22, 2011  General  2 Responses »
Sep 222011
 

I love my girls.

I love my ex husband.

I also love having a little time to myself.

As time has gone on I get less and less. As the girls have become teenagers and the fact my ex lives an hour away, the less they like to go to his house and linger around mine.

I understand this. As a teenage girl, I would not like to spend my weekends out in the middle of nowhere. We can all get on our soap box and say, “That’s too bad, they need to spend time with their father.” And…I agree. They have NOT spent enough time with their father over the last few years. But that is between him and the girls.

What is between me and them is this…I NEED JUST A LITTLE TIME TO HAND OVER SOME RESPONSIBILITY TO THEIR FATHER ON HIS WEEKENDS. I need just a little time to breathe. Continue reading »

Give Freely and Cheerfully by Jennifer Maggio

 Posted by Jennifer on September 21, 2011  General  No Responses »
Sep 212011
 

In a day and time when many are taught from a very young age to be selfish, stingy, and demand that we “get ours”(or throw a fit trying), I thought it relevant to go back to the simple principle of generosity.  

Most of us are familiar with Acts 20:35 ”….it is more blessed to give than receive.” 

Do we really get that? Do we understand what that means?  I absolutely love to give gifts to my children at Christmas.  I love to see my four-year-old’s face beam with joy as she opens a new baby doll or dish set.  (My teens’ faces usually only glisten with cash these days, but nonetheless….). What about when we aren’t speaking about our own children, friends, or family?  What about the stranger who is begging roadside or the homeless woman who has two children to care for?   Do you give them? Do you enjoy giving to them?  Or do we run down the list of possible reasons why they “got themselves into that position?” Continue reading »

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Fear Will Steal Your Dreams – Find Your Roar!

 Posted by Michele on September 19, 2011  General  2 Responses »
Sep 192011
 

Fear is the whisper that tries to steal your dreams – courage is the roar that conquers those fears and makes your dreams come true…. Michele DeVille

Have you ever let something go or passed something by that you truly wanted more than anything because you were afraid? I would venture to guess that for most people the answer would be yes. Fear is something we have all faced in the past and it is most likely something that most of us will face again for fear is a human emotion that is embedded deep within our core.

If one were to sit down and truly think about fear I think we would be amazed at how many fears each of us have had from childhood on. We fear the dark, separation from mom, going to school, losing a loved one, if we passed a test, breaking up, moving, what others think, change, getting sick, starting a new job, getting married, getting divorced, parenting, going broke, being alone, failure, if we are good enough, if we are pretty enough, if we are loved, people, accidents, growing old, getting hurt, the unknown, death……and the list goes on. Fear is always lurking close by ready to reach out and grab us with the intent of controlling everything we do and ultimately sabotaging our dreams or living the life we truly want. Continue reading »

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