When you are a single parent day in and day out there is no other in the adult to run interference for you. No one to come in and save the day. You can learn to save you own day and not lose your cool. Here are some suggestions:
1. Know Your Limits and Obey Them: frequently when we lose our cool as single parents it is because we have crossed the line and pushed ourselves too far. What are your limits? Are you most stressed if you are tired? Hungry? Financially Strapped? Continue reading »
I’m gonna take you back today. One of my all-time favorite songs is “Man in the Mirror” by Michael Jackson. I cannot listen to that song without crying. Michael Jackson died on my birthday a few years ago, and I remember spending the day watching endless Michael Jackson videos — partly sad that he had passed away and partly reminiscing about years gone by, what I was doing when I first heard this song or that one. The song is so beautifully written. I love the message.
Here, take a listen:
“When your heart has been broken it can feel as if you will never feel whole again and the fear of loving again can stand in the way of finding the amazing love you so deserve. Remember, love doesn’t come with guarantees and yes, love can sometimes hurt but in the end love is worth the risk and it is better to have experienced love than to never love at all.” Michele DeVille
LOVE. What a powerful four letter word. I would have to say that love is one of the most powerful words there is and I still believe that in the end, nothing matters if we don’t have love, feel love or give love. Most everyone I know has had a broken heart at some point in their lives and most everyone who has endured a broken heart has felt like their heart will never be put back together again. I have been there more than once in my life and while I absolutely felt like I would never feel whole again, I have learned that life does go on and with time the heart does heal.
One of the challenges and sometimes tragedies that can accompany a broken heart is the fear to love again and as with any fear, that fear can stand in the way of opening your heart to finding the love of a lifetime. When one’s heart is broken it can leave you feeling vulnerable and it is hard to see past the hurt making it difficult to trust again or to take a risk moving forward. Sometimes it is because of a broken heart that we fail to recognize when true love presents itself and we are so clouded by a love in the past we fail to recognize or embrace a love that is yet to find us or meant to be. Continue reading »
This Wednesday I will be headed up to Montana to visit my family see friends and retrieve my daughter who has spent the better part of the summer there. I am excited to see my family, hang out at the lake, have fun and oh ya, see my daughter again. Michaela has been there since early June. I know that based upon the three calls she has made to me that she is having a great time. Yes three calls… You see it’s not that she doesn’t love me, or that I don’t love her, but sometimes in life you just need a break from your kids. Now I am sure that many of you are saying the exact same thing “Boy do I need a break from my kids”. It’s natural to need some free time to yourself, to get away and to recharge our batteries, but is it alright not to miss your kids? In my case the answer is yes:) I love my daughter to death, with all of my heart, with all of my soul and with all of my mind, but honestly I just don’t miss her all that much.
Now before you start to say “What kind of a father are you Bill not to miss one of your babies” let me give you a few reasons:
1. She is a 14 year old girl. If you have ever had one of those you will totally understand what I am saying here. Continue reading »
The best way to enjoy yourself this summer is to be unstressed. How is that possible when you are a single mom or dad and you have to work, pay bills, and manage all that messy life stuff all the while wanting the kids to have a good time? I’m just like every other single mom, I don’t have all the answers, but I have found a few things that have helped me a long the way:
1. Get Organized: I know this seems like a bummer in the summer, but it helps make summer (and the rest of the year) go smoothly. Have zones or areas where things go and then GET THE KIDS WITH THE PROGRAM. (This can be a difficult at first but they catch on.) For example:
• sneakers and flip-flops go in the basket by the door, towels are hung out to dry on the patio, wet swim suits go directly in the washer.
• We have a bag that goes to the beach, another that goes to the pool. We have a plastic bag/basket with handles we got at 5 Below that hold all the goggles, snorkels, sun screen etc. We keep these things packed in the trunk of the car.
•have a small basket/caddy by the shower (easily washable) filled with soaps, shampoos, and shaving cream etc. Use and put back. This makes wiping out and cleaning the shower/tub easier.
•In the laundry have multiple baskets for whites, colors, delicates etc. Place the clothes in there as they come off so there is no sorting prior to washing. I love this tip, which comes from the Flylady. See her site for more great tips. Continue reading »
In light of the whole Casey Anthony story this week, I thought this was the best blog to post.
Byron Katie is an author in the self help world that I discovered during a visit with a client. A book on their shelf was calling my name ~ Loving What is. She is all about the present moment, being happy and how to get there with 4 simple questions to ask when you are stuck in a “story”. I have learned so much from her simplistic teaching and her quips are the best. One of my favorites is…There are only 3 kinds of business – 1. God’s business, 2. Other people’s business, and 3. YOUR business. Her message: WE ARE HAPPIEST WHEN WE STAY IN OUR OWN BUSINESS. So, the question is…Whose Business are you in?
As people waited outside the courthouse in Orlando this week and as we bombarded our facebooks with our opinions of the verdict, our disgust for Casey, and the groups starting to support little Caylee, I couldn’t help but realize…no one was minding their own business.
Another thing Byron Katie talks about is sticking with the facts. Facts are…WE DON’T KNOW THE TRUTH. We know what the media is telling us. The only person who knows the truth is Casey. She knows whether she killed her baby or or not. This is not our business…this is now God’s business. Continue reading »
My daughter turned 14 last week and we celebrated this year, as we have for many years past, with a sleepover. We had 7 screaming, giggling teen girls over. At one point, we decided to all watch a television show together and I look over and EVERY SINGLE GIRL was sitting about my living room with her head buried in her phone texting, while the tv was going, while Tivo was recording another show, while surfing Facebook……… I wanted to scream, “Enough already!!”, but much to the immense gratitude of my daughter, did not.
I wish I could say that media over-stimulation is a teen phase that will one day pass, but…that’s not the case. And it’s not just texting either. It’s everything — social media, computers, television. It’s not enough to watch the 6:00pm news anymore, we must have 24/7 news channels. But even that is not enough…..we must read trailers and tidbits of breaking news coverage on top of THE BREAKING NEWS COVERAGE! Continue reading »
