Being A Dad Was The Worst Decision Of My Life…

 Posted by Bill on July 31, 2011  Balancing Work and Children, General, Raising Children as a Single Parent, The Craziness of Single Parenting  No Responses »
Jul 312011
 

Seriously being a DAD was the worst decision of my life. How could I be so dumb? How could I have not seen it coming? How did I ever get myself into this? Being a DAD was the worst decision of my life! There were so many other paths I could have chosen. There were so many other decisions I could have made and should have made. What was I thinking? Obviously my attitude about it failed me, obviously my decision making was skewed, why was I in denial when I had always seemed to of made good decisions in the past? Being a DAD was the worst decision of my life.

Prior to being a DAD my life was great. My business was booming, my relationships were phenomenal, my attitude was authentic, my outlook was positive, my life was darn near perfect, and then it happened, I became a DAD. What made it worst is that I have become a DAD more than once in my life. You would think that after becoming a DAD once I would have learned, but no, not me, I had to become a DAD again. What was I thinking? I knew that I hated being a DAD but I did it again. As I look back on my life I wish more than anything else I had never ever become a DAD. Being a DAD was the worst thing that I ever did.

Now before you all start worrying about my children let me explain to you what being a DAD is all about. Here you go… First being a DAD has nothing to do with being a parent, a father or a hero to your kids. Being a DAD is a state of mind that each and every one of us has fallen into at one time or another in our lives. It is a state of mind that will affect you like nothing before. It is a state of mind that will cause you pain and anger. It is a state of mind that will bring you unhappiness for the rest of your life if you stay in it. Each and eveytime I have become a DAD (and yes I have done it more than once) I have suffered the consequences. The good news is I am going to let you know what it is, so that you don’t make the same mistakes, so that you can live a happy life, a life filled with enlightenment, success and hope. Are you ready for the secret? Continue reading »

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Help for Single Moms by Jennifer Maggio

 Posted by Jennifer on July 27, 2011  General  No Responses »
Jul 272011
 

A few weeks ago, I received an exciting email.  My idea had been named a finalist in the Mother of All Ideas Contest!  What an honor!  So….what was my idea and why would it interest you?  I proposed a national plan to begin to help single moms get connected all across the country via church and non-profit single parent support groups.  This is a project I have been working on for some time and have helped to launch more than 100 single mom support groups in churches across the world.  But the work is not complete.  There are millions of single moms still not connected, still desiring friendships and support. 

Since the majority who read my articles at Single Parents Town are, in fact, single parents,   I want to enlist your help.  The winner is named based on the most votes.  You can only vote once per day per person.  If my idea wins (based on votes alone), then I am donating the entire prize back to the single moms I work with!  I truly, truly want to bless these women.  I want to help raise awareness of the issues facing single parents today, as the winning idea will be posted in several places.

Please take 5 seconds and vote.  Set a reminder on your phone to do it every day through September 1, 2011, and share the word with friends.  Help me bless single moms! Continue reading »

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Timing Is Everything

 Posted by Michele on July 25, 2011  General  1 Response »
Jul 252011
 

There have been many times in my life where I have had to face the harsh reality that “timing is everything” and whether I like it or not, this statement continues to stand firm and true in much of what happens in our lives. Have you ever met someone that you had an amazing connection with and that person could have been the love of your life yet it could not have been a worse time for your paths to cross? Perhaps one of you was in the middle of a messy divorce, just took a new job thousands of miles away or perhaps one of you recently met someone new. Have you ever found yourself facing an amazing opportunity to take the job of your dreams only to face an extended illness and you must turn it down? Perhaps you have searched for the perfect home, found it and were about to make an offer and you lost your job.

These are just a few examples but in the end, timing is everything. There is nothing more frustrating than wanting something so bad and feeling it is so right yet you can’t have it because the timing is so wrong. We live with a sense of urgency and the need to control and society has taught us that when we want something or someone we often times want it now. Unfortunately, that is not how life works. It is true that we have the freedom of choice but choice and control are two different things and timing is not always something any one of us can control. Time and the timing of events in our lives often marches to its own agenda and learning to cope, accept and embrace timing is key to finding peace in our hearts and to go with the flow. It is not an easy thing to do but it can be done.

Letting go of that perfect job, someone we love or a dream home can feel like a huge loss at the time but I challenge everyone to change your thought patterns and spin it in a different and more positive way. A quote I wrote says “Sometimes it is necessary to take a step back and remove ourselves from something that at one time seemed so right and yet as much as we still want it, seems so wrong. Remember, to walk away does not have to mean forever but instead can bring clarity and clear the path to walk towards something better or if it was meant to be to return to it with a stronger connection than ever before. M DeVille Continue reading »

I Am So Glad Summer Is Winding Down

 Posted by Bill on July 25, 2011  Balancing Work and Children, General, Raising Children as a Single Parent, The Craziness of Single Parenting, Uncategorized  1 Response »
Jul 252011
 

It’s funny how when we are young we hope that summer never ends, but once we are parents we can’t wait until it does? Now I’m not saying that summer isn’t the greatest time of the year for all of us, but I for one am ready for it to end. As a single dad summer is that one time of the year when my kids have way to much free time on their hands, and since one of them doesn’t drive, that means I am on call throughout the day. I never have wanted my kids not to be able to get to their friends or go places that they enjoy, but my daughter needs to learn that I am in the mortgage business, not a driver for the local cab service.

Again summer is a great time of year for all of us, but I really am looking forward to getting back to some sort of structure. Granted my daughter has been on a world wide tour this summer that mirrors U-2′s, but she still is very active, which makes me very crazy. Oh how I long for the upcoming school days and some sort of structure again. My son on the other hand is easy. He sleeps in until after lunch, that is on the days he is not working, and has his own car. He is what you would call low maintenance. My daughter on the other hand is calling my by 9:00 am each morning with that same line, “I am soooo bored, there is nothing to do”. Funny how when I list the chores that need to be done she isn’t quite as bored anymore. Oh how I long for the upcoming school days and some sort of structure again.

I guess that I really shouldn’t complain though. It wasn’t that long ago that I had to constantly find things for them to do, places to drop them off at (all of which cost me money), or sitters to watch them.  I also believe that summer is a great way for the kids to create memories of a lifetime, recharge their batteries and remind me what it is like to still be young at heart. Summer is also a great time for all of us to warm ourselves with love, family and independence but again, Oh how I long for the upcoming school days and some sort of structure again. Continue reading »

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Top Five Vacation Don’ts

 Posted by Lisa on July 22, 2011  General  1 Response »
Jul 222011
 

Summer is in full swing It is blazing hot here on the East Coast. Lots of people are on vacation, returning from vacation, taking weekend road trips or planning getaways for later in the summer. As a single parent, a vacation is not always so much of a vacation if you have no one to switch off parenting responsibilities. Beach vacations are nice but often still hold the duties of cooking, and washing etc. Going with another family or members of your family (who you get along with–lol!) can help.

Here is my Top 5 Ten things You Should Not bring on vacation:

1. Too much “stuff”. We all love our creature comforts and so do our children. Sometimes we think we must bring a lot of things for them –and really aren’t we enabling them to be dependent on their things? Simplify. That said, you know my boys will not vacation without their DS’s and a handful of DVDs. These are sanity savers when I need a time-out. Continue reading »

“If I Were your Daddy, This is What You’d Learn”

 Posted by Jennifer on July 20, 2011  General  No Responses »
Jul 202011
 

I had the pleasure of making the acquaintance of Julia Espey recently and learned about her book, “If I Were Your Daddy, This is What You’d Learn.”  The title is so intriguing I could not wait to get my hands on a copy.   I have had the opportunity now to review Julia’s book and all I can say is “Awesome, Relevant, and Useful!” 

Single moms, the most difficult part of being a single mom is the worry that comes with hoping your child does not lack certain skills due to the lack of a father in their lives.  As a fellow author, I am in awe of the amount of research Julia put forth in finding quality fathers who can provide a glimpse into their experiences as fathers.  While I may not necessarily agree with every piece of the  fathers’ advice in the book, I can appreciate their love for their children, which is so apparent.   I especially love the “Reaching Higher” part of the book, where she highlights Habitat for Humanity CEO, Jonathan Reckford, and others, as they share about the importance of serving others and serving God. 

I was on Julia’s radio show recently “Single Mom Talk”.  Check it out. Continue reading »

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Summer Bonds With The Family

 Posted by Bill on July 19, 2011  General, Getting Your New Life In Order, Raising Children as a Single Parent, Teenagers  No Responses »
Jul 192011
 

I just got back from my annual vacation to visit my family in Montana (thus my late blog) and had an amazing time. We hung out at the lake, water skied, tubed, jet skied, swam, laughed, cooked smores and just had one of those times that I will always cherish. Whenever I go back to visit, it is always a huge event. Friends visit, family comes together and memories are crested for a lifetime. It never ceases to amaze me that no matter how long you might be away from your family, once you get together it seems like you had never left.

My family is very close, which is a good thing since it’s just my kids and I together here in Denver. There is something about the bond a family has, regardless of where you live, that sticks together like melted chocolate and marshmallows in a smore. No matter what challenges or differences of opinions each family might have, you can never separate them. There is a bond not only in your name but in your heart. Families are speciasl regardless of how big, how small, how close or how far they live from each other.

Never forget that your family is your bond and your bond is your family. Embrace it, enjoy it and cherish it because we all deserve to have a family that is special in it’s own way. Continue reading »

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