Recently I wrote a quote that said, “People that throw the biggest stones of judgement often times have the biggest boulder sitting on their own home. Remember, everyone has a past and until we can truly walk in another’s shoes no one should be casting a stone anywhere. Don’t judge but instead try to understand, forgive, learn and grow. Walking in another’s shoes without throwing stones can bring more wisdom than ever imagined…”
It is human nature to judge situations and others throughout life and I would venture to guess that we all do it on occasion without even realizing it. Then there are those times when judging becomes a way of life for some and it can sprinkle negativity everywhere we go. It can be as simple as judging a person for how they look or what they are wearing to casting judgement for a bad choice or mistake someone has made. Judging others can lead to labeling, name calling, vengeance, blame, anger, hatred and an inability to forgive. Judging can sometimes mask our ability to have empathy for others and can stand in the way of considering what could be a far bigger picture to a situation or person’s life. Judging can at times point to the very things we ourselves struggle with while we are busy pointing the finger at someone else.
What I have come to realize in this journey is that judging is a quick trip to nowhere. I truly believe that often times it is the people that judge the most and cast the biggest stones that have the biggest boulder sitting on their own home. It is when we can be honest with ourselves and recognize those boulders that rest on top of our own homes that we can then learn to be more forgiving of others and not be so judgmental. Every person has a past and unfortunately, most people have something that lies within their past that they struggle with, regret, have come to deny or have preferred others didn’t know. We ourselves fear being judged and there are sometimes things that we work very hard to hide or parts of ourselves that we bury wanting to forget and yet we find hard to forgive.
It is sometimes easier to cast stones at others bad choices or mistakes then to face what we ourselves have done. What if we could all leave our own baggage at the door and truly step into another’s shoes before walking through the door? What if we could be honest with our own vulnerabilities and weaknesses and when stepping into another’s shoes recognize that we are all human and that it is impossible to truly know what another has gone through in life or may be going through now? What if we could learn to truly forgive instead of judging and focus more on removing our own boulders so that we can finally forgive ourselves?
I learned a long time ago that the phrase “I would never” is not always a statement based in reality and while I believe we all have the best of intentions, people are human and people make mistakes. God knows I have and choices have at times been made that I would give anything to change or take back. With that being said, the past cannot be changed and I know that my only choice moving forward is to forgive and find the lesson in those mistakes to ensure those mistakes are never made again. As I have said before, there is wisdom in the wounds and every life experience and every person we meet is here to teach us something.
One of those lessons for me and one that I have tried to teach my children is to try and not judge others. I know this can be difficult but instead of assuming anything and thinking that I know and understand exactly what another is going through or has been through, I try to remember that we all have a past and that life is sometimes hard. We all make mistakes and until I have walked in another’s shoes and experienced life exactly as they have, it is never my place to judge them. Then again is there ever a “right” time to judge? I have tried to teach my kids that forgiving is a gift and that if we can practice true empathy for others it will bring peace and help us to learn, grow and be more understanding and accepting of others. We can learn from other’s mistakes as well as from our own and in the end, there is truth in what we sometimes judge in others is something we judge within ourselves. Good people sometimes do bad things and I still believe that it is when we can accept and love all of who we are and forgive those bad things that we sometimes do that we can stop casting stones at others and get rid of the boulder that sits in silence on top of our own homes.
We must sometimes have a dark side so that we can truly find and live in our light. We must sometimes lose everything so that we can appreciate all that we have. We must sometimes be weak and vulnerable so that we can find out just how strong we are. We must sometimes make mistakes so that we can gain wisdom to be better than we were before and we must sometimes face our own frailties and admit all we have done wrong so that we can finally learn to do it right. So before throwing that next stone, ask yourself if you have ever walked in another’s shoes and make sure there are no boulders sitting on your own house. Your heart will thank you.
In Love & Peace-
Michele
Michele DeVille is a Life Coach, Speaker and Author of “The Path to Forgiveness” with a passion for inspiring change one person at a time regardless of the past. To learn more about Michele go to www.micheledeville.com or email her at michele@micheledeville.com
