Single Parents Town Blog

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I could have named this blog a few things. I debated between the given title, the title to the song, ‘Sometimes Love Just Ain’t Enough’, and What Would I Tell My Girls To Do?! I decided on Breaking Up IS Hard To Do because…it just is.

My break up is fresh. So what I may write today may be very different than what I would write about in a month from now but that’s okay because where I am today is no different than where you might be right now or where you have been. I am going to write from where I am today…right now. No matter how fresh, not matter how hard….I’m just going to write. Continue reading »

I am a firm believer that it is when we stop living true to who we are that in essence we, in part, stop living. I say this because we all have a deep and profound need to live out our purpose and we all have core beliefs and values that are a part of who we have been, who we are and who we are meant to be. With that being said, many people will compromise those beliefs and values at some point along the way ultimately losing themselves and making choices that challenge their heart, soul and integrity.

Most people start out life with the belief that they are invincible and as we take those early steps towards learning, experiencing and growing, life is magical. We feel loved, special, adored and in our innocent minds the world is a playground and anything is possible. Its okay to color outside of the lines, get frosting all over our faces, splash in dirty mud puddles and dance in the rain. To some degree, we have no inhibitions and we still love ALL of who we are because we wouldn’t have it any other way.

Somewhere in the journey, life steps in and we start to lose ourselves. Society and the many expectations of those around us begin to influence our thoughts, beliefs and values. We start to live life according to what we are expected to do instead of what is right as an individual. We replace the child that believes he or she can fly with someone that no longer believes in themselves and doubts begin to show up at every turn. We sabotage our own dreams and begin to compromise on what is most important including compromising our own existence and what we stand for. Fear pushes us to sometimes ignore the difference between what we know to be right versus wrong and we settle for mediocrity and sacrifice our own integrity. Continue reading »

I just finished reading Andre Dubus III’s memoir, Townie. It was not, as far as memoirs go, an easy read. Dubus III, son of famous short story writer Andre Dubus,  writes his personal family truths and it is a mostly unvarnished view of a life of poverty, drugs, and on-the-edge existence. After his father left and his parents divorced, his mother a social worker single mother raised her four children while working full-time. While she was at work, they roamed the streets, finding trouble, drugs, violence, and sex at a very early age. His father paid child support (which was never enough to cover expenses, notes Dubus III) and visited he and his siblings once a week. At the time there was no shared custody or overnight alternating weekend visits. Instead he took his kids to dinner once each week. Dubus III says he once heard his father say he felt like “he was forced to date his children.” 

The book is a study in divorce and single parenting from the seventies. Dubus III, author of The House of Sand and Fogand other books, artfully crafts his scenes, describes his life and his relationships with family members in a truthful and un-antagonistic way.  Continue reading »