Mar 312011
Proverbs 31:27-28 “She carefully watches everything in her household and suffers nothing to laziness. Her children stand and bless her.” As parents, I think we all have that deep desire that as our children become adults, they will stand and recognize all the sacrifices we made, the rules we implemented, and bless us for it. They will be proud of how we raised them. We hope to see the fruits of our labor.
I read the above passage recently for probably the 100th time and something stood out to me that had never stood out before. We tend to cling to “her children stand and bless her” because that is the result. But………….what are the four words prior to it? ”…SUFFERS NOTHING TO LAZINESS.”
It is not by accident that the words are placed strategically there. Parenting is work — simple as that, even if you have a two-parent home, but certainly when you are a single parent. It requires intention and planning. This is when children feel secure — no matter their age. Too often, with the weight of financial planning, emotional stresses, and exhaustion, we simply “give in” and do not effectively parent. We lose structure, because we are too tired to implement it. I know I have been guilty. Continue reading »
Mar 282011
It is true that life is a journey and one of the most fascinating and beautiful parts of the journey surrounds all of the people we meet along the way. When I look back on my life I am absolutely amazed at how many wonderful people I have had the pleasure of knowing and how important of a role some of them have played. I learned long ago that many people will pass through our lives but there are truly a rare few that leave a deep footprint on our souls. It is not always the length of time that matters for some of the people that have touched my heart the most have been in my life a very short time.
Have you ever met someone and within minutes you feel like you have known them forever? Have you connected with someone and felt like you have met before? Are there people in your lives that you just know you can trust and can count on them no matter what? I believe that we meet certain people that come into our lives for a reason and that there are times that we are exactly where we are supposed to be when we do. Things may not always make sense at the time and sometimes we can make ourselves crazy trying to figure out and understand the why behind some of the relationships we encounter but over time and with maturity I have learned to have faith that the answers will come.
What I do know is that regardless of the why there is great value to those people in life that we know we can trust and that in the end the foundation of friendship will be there through thick and thin and that if in need they are just a phone call away. Sometimes my kids will share the perils of friendship and I am reminded of how devastating it was as a teen as “best friends forever” would change from one day to the next. I do not minimize the drama that can occur amongst teenage friends for at the time it can feel like your life is over and nothing will be the same. However, I want to hug these kids tight and with love assure them that while people will come and go throughout life, there will be those true few that will impact you in such a way that your life will never be the same. Continue reading »
Mar 282011
In the 1986 movie “Jerry Maguire” there is a famous line where Jerry (Tom Cruise) flies back home to meet Dorothy ( Renee Zellweger) to tell her that he loves her and wants her in his life, and she tells him “You had me at hello”. What made that line so famous was that although the couple had been arguing for sometime, those five words “You had me at hello” said it all.
Sometimes in life when we say less, we are actually saying more!
When I was growing up, my friends and I would pass each other in the hall and nod our heads. It was our way of acknowledging each other. Nodding our heads was our way of letting the other person know that they meant something to us. Nodding our heads said it all. Continue reading »
Mar 242011
I met Kelley my freshman year in college. We lived on the same floor in Washington Hall at Western Illinois University. My room was right outside the elevator and the floor’s full length mirror. My roommate Julie was quite the smoker and since I would not allow her to smoke in our room the door was often open for her to blow the smoke out into the hall. Julie’s nasty habit could be the gift that introduced me to one of my best friends…Kelley.
Kelley would stand in front of that mirror in her in her crisp white Keds or Tretorns and make sure her outfit was perfect. She was from big city Chicago. I was from small town DeKalb. She was worth paying attention to. She was pretty darn cool.
By the end of our freshman year we had all become friends as we all met up in the TV room of our floor and heading to the snack bar when it opened at 8 p.m. I listened as Kelley talked about pledging a sorority -which in time I became a member of too which made us roommates and better friends- and how her boyfriend from home was dealing with it. Needless to say…not so good. But she took his verbal assaults and anything else he had to offer as he dealt with his insecurities of Kelley spreading her wings. Continue reading »
Simple thought for today: Although there are times when parenting is overwhelmingly difficult, rest in knowing that progress is being made. Through the years, I have felt like screaming and running my fist in the wall due to frustration in parenting. I was certain that nothing I said was getting through to my pre-teens and teens.
I was wrought with fear that my children would make the same mistakes that I had or choose the wrong path. I sit with many parents throughout the week and hear this same fear from them.
A few weeks ago, something strange, but wonderful happened. My teens were part of a weekend teen conference at my local church. There were more than a thousand teens there from all over the country and it was a phenomenal experience. Parents were able to watch online and we caught bits and pieces of it. Both my teens asked to have friends spend the night. We had a total of 8 teens that were here. It was 12:30am. I was tired, and the kids were being way too loud for that hour. But….on my way back to correct them, I stopped. I stood outside each of their doors and heard the innocent giggles. I stopped and smiled. I didn’t say a word. Continue reading »
Most of us do not take wedding vows with plans of ending our marriages in divorce and I will venture to say that most people do not make the decision to have children with plans of becoming a single parent. With that being said there are millions of single parents in the United States alone and the numbers are rising. Single parenting is without a doubt one of the most challenging things a mother or father will face and one of the biggest challenges can be co-parenting with your ex-spouse.
In a perfect world two people that once loved each other would be able to get along, communicate well and raise their kids in harmony following a divorce but unfortunately, this is often easier said than done. Is it possible? Absolutely and I am living proof of that with both my ex-husbands. I am passionate about this topic and believe that it is so important for ex-spouses to work together in raising their kids and there are key strategies that I believe can help.
1. Forgive and Let Go Continue reading »