How To Survive The Holidays by Jennifer Maggio

Working with hundreds of single moms, it is almost inevitable that this time of year means that my phone rings more often and my emails increase significantly, as many are suffering with the onset of the holiday blues.  I have a few quick tips that have proven to be very helpful for others, so I thought I’d relay them to you.

You may be thinking, “Jennifer, how can I enjoy the holidays when my spouse just left me (or I’m all alone)?”  or “How am I supposed to be festive when I have no money to put gifts under the tree?” 

Here goes, simple and to-the-point:

• Get outside.  Yes, I mean, literally get outside!  Fresh air and a brisk walk, going to have coffee with a friend, and walking around the local shopping mall can do wonders for your mood.  I find that staying cooped up inside my four walls not only depresses me but isolates me.
• Get outside of yourself!  Begin to think outside of your own situation.  Look at others.  How can you serve another?  Can you take your children to the local homeless shelter or soup kitchen?  Can you wrap Toys For Tots?  Does your church do local outreaches?  There are a 1,000 ways you could serve your community without spending any money.  There is nothing better for your own problems than to get perspective that others have it worse than you!
• Create traditions with your children.  Rather than moping that you don’t have a spouse in your life, focus on the healthy  family you do have.  Begin family traditions, such as reading the Christmas story as a family, cooking Christmas breakfast together, singing Christmas carols in the neighborhood, etc. 
• Do not overindulge your children.  Because your child is in a one-parent home, you can easily become guilty and want to over-compensate for what you deem is his misfortune.  Or….quite possibly, because you work two jobs or have a demanding schedule (in order to put food on the table), you feel guilty about a lack of time spent with your child.   Therefore, you indulge his every whim.  (Gosh, what kind of children do we rear when we spoil them rotten?!)  Or it’s the opposite…………you don’t have the money to buy, buy, buy, but you beat yourself up about it and then……….depression sets in.  Do you see the cycle here?  Which brings me to my last point…………..
• Remember what Christmas is actually about.  This is such a simple truth, but so often, it is overlooked.  We always SAY that Christmas is not about presents, but we sure act like it!  Christmas is about family, about peace, about thankfulness, and most importantly, about the birth of Christ. 

Bottom line, (barring some chemical imbalance), you make the decision to fight depression.  You make an intentional decision to take steps to enjoy your holiday season, so that your children can also enjoy their holiday season.  So, what are you waiting for? 

Author/Speaker, Jennifer Barnes Maggio, is one of the nation’s leading authorities on single parent issues.  She has been featured on numerous radio and television programs, including Power Women, The 700 Club, Inspired Life and more.  Her new book, Overwhelmed: The Life of a Single Mom, is selling out in bookstores across the nation.  For more info, visit http://www.jennifermaggio.com.