The Skittle

As it is Halloween (or just about), and people tend to do crazy and embarrassing things to celebrate, I thought I would share with you a little of my own crazy…

just one of many embarrassing acts of stupidity (largely the result of toddler induced lack of sleep).

I have noticed a direct correlation between the number of my children and the number of embarrassing situations in which I am placed.   An example in honor of Ichabod Crane:

Okay my car is out of warranty…

That is car code for everything will now break…

So…

I take the car in for the normal oil change…

I have no idea how/why the dealer charges 69.00 for an oil change when I could go to Jiffy Lube for 29.95 and be harassed for a new oil filter ever time.

But…

They do.

So I tell them to do the oil change and check the steering wheel.

Something is wrong you see…

When you turn on and off the car it raises and lowers to let you in and out of the car.

But now…

It sort of gyrates and makes an odd sort of gurgling noise.

And I have to not only illustrate the gyration but also sort of make the noise – sort of like a coffee pot vomiting mid percolation.

You get the picture…

Humiliating.   And absolutely ineffective in conveying anything other than I am a  moron.

So… 2 hours later…

Service lady approaches and says…

“Ma’am we are done… we fixed everything”

Uh oh.

“the steering wheel too?”

Cringing… as I know this will be pricey.

“I am just going to let you read the technicians writeup…

I can tell you in 8 years I have never seen this before.”

Oh crap… this will totally kill me.

And it says:

Issue:  Noisy and gyrating steering wheel upon start up and shut down.

Cause: Skittle candy lodged in steering column.

Resolution:  Removed skittle candy.  No longer gyrating or making noise.

Shut up!

Are you kidding me?

I don’t even like skittles.

Officer…

it wasn’t me.

I swear!

What?

It had to be my daughter. How?

How?

How?  Did she manage to get a skittle in the steering column?

(maybe when she was play driving?)

OMG

This particular car dealer is known for being service oriented.   And this service woman  is doing the best she can…

I do believe that…

However…

she cannot look at me because…

She is trying not to laugh…

I can see her body sort of convulse fighting the hysterics.

And then she says…

“Um ma’am…

Did you want the skittle?”

Smartass!

“No… um…I’m good”