So somewhere in the past few months Paris has made a pretty big shift in her way of being. This shift has shown up in her behaviors, her communication, her humor, her dancing, the way she’s thinking and her creativity especially in the problem solving department. Her maturity is being demonstrated for example by her not going into argue mode the minute I tell her no on every single thing. Or telling her friend that was back talking me that she needs to “show my mother some respect”. She’s been waking up easier, doing things before she is asked and calling me out if I’m driving too fast, playing my music too loud or swearing. As irritiating as it can be to be put in check by a third grader, it puts a smile in my heart and a pat on my back every time she does because it feels like a good work mommy moment.
Because she’s coming from a less combative, more calm, more open, loving and cooperative place the tension between us is lessening. I know this will sound awful to say, but I think all parents can relate. Parenting, especially as a single parent has been less than enjoyable throughout the years. Don’t get me wrong. I wouldn’t change for the world having my angel, but it sure has been a lot more work, pain, tears and heartache then I ever thought motherhood would be. I always wanted kids. In fact, I use to think I wanted five. But this little bottle rocket changed all that. And then, of course, it makes me look at my mom and think how the hell did she raise four of us. Three totally on her own. Now that’s a Wonder Woman.
But I’m finally really starting to see the rewards of my efforts. She was so cuddely with me last night. My heart was pounding with unbrideled love when I looked into her big, hazel eyes and freckled face last night to have her tell me how much she loves me. And then when she calls me mama, I am at her mercy.
Even losing another tooth, she’s looking different. And it’s the saying the grow up so fast is really sinking in. I use to say I can’t wait till she’s so and so age because I just wanted the headaches of that age to go away. But with every new age, there are a new set of behaviors, attitudes, and beliefs to adjust too. I finally feel like I can take a breath for a while and just really enjoy motherhood. It only took 8 years, but it was worth it.
Of course, I’m willing to acknowledge that how I feel about this time in our lives isn’t all about where Paris is at. I too have made significant changes inside and out. And I’m sure these positive changes have contributed to the experience with my daughter being easier. Getting more calm and relaxed was essential to hear becoming more calm and relaxed. Operating from this place just makes living so much more enjoyable. I also believe having her dad finally move back from Kentucky has played a huge role the dynamics between Paris and I.
So parents if you are having a hard time with your kids, it is possible that it can get better. And it’s possible that it can get worse. I still have the teenage years to look forward to after all. But now that I have seen that there can be harmony at certain stages of life, then I know that it can exist in other stages of life as well. And that’s helps a lot in the hope department.
Single mom, organizing and productivity expert, Tracy Paye has been transforming spaces into livable and lovable environments since the age of 12. Tracy’s passion is to help people experience freedom from their stuff and re-design their lives. Through hands on organizing, coaching, consulting, speaking engagements, media appearances, and writing Tracy has positively impacted countless people by inspiring, empowering and motivating people to take action and gain control of their lives. If you are interested to learn more about Tracy’s organizing services you can visit her site at www.tracypaye.com. You can also follow her on Twitter www.twitter.com/missorganized.
